1. I can see your point, but i still think your full of sh*t

2. i dont't know what your problem is,but i'l bet its hard to pronouce

3. how about never? Is never good for you

4.i see you've set aside this special time to humilate your self in public

5.i'm really easy to get along with once you people to learn to see it my way

6.who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. i'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message

8. it sounds like english,but i cant ubderstand a word you're saying

9.i don't work here. i'm a consultant

10. ahhhhh i see the f*ck up fairy has visited us again

11.i like you. you remind me of myself when i was young and stupied

12.you are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers

13.i have plenty of talent and vision; i just dont give a sh*t

14. im already visulizing the duct tape over your mouth

15.i will cherish the misconception i had about you

16.thank you.. we're all refreshed and challenged by yoyr unique point of view

17.the fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're and artist

18.any reemblance between you and reality and mine are purely coincidental

19. what and i ? flypaper for freaks?!

20. i'm not rude.you're just inignificant

21.it's a thankless job,but i've got a lot of karma to burn off

22.yes, i am agent of satan,but my duties are largly ceremonial

23.and your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?

24. do i look like a fu*king peolpe person to you?

25. this isnt an office. its hell with fluorecent lighting

26.i started out with nothing and i still have most of it left

27. sarcasm is just one more service we offer

28.if i throw a stick, will you leave

29. errors have been made. others will be blamed

30.what ever kind of look you were aiming for,you missed

31.oh i get it.like humour,but different.......

32.an office is just a mental institute without the padded walls

33.can i swap this job for what's behind door............1?

34.too many freaks,not enough circuses

35.nice perfume(or aftershave).must you marinate in it?

36.chaos,panic,and disorder.my work here is done

37.how do i set a laser printer to stun?

38.i thought i wanted a career;it turns out i just needed the money

39.i'll try to be nicer if you'll try being more intelligent

40.wait a minute-i'm trying to imagine you will a peronality

41.arn't you a black hole of need

42.i'd like to help you out,which way did you come in?

43.did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

44.why don't you slip in to some thing more comfortable? like a coma

45.if you have some thing to say raise your hand......then place it over your mouth

46.i'm too busy,can i ignore you some other time?

47.don't let your mind wander,its too small to be let out on its own

48.have a nice day, somewhere else

49.you're not yourself today,i noticed the improvement straight away

50.you are as pretty as a picture,i'd really like to hang you

51.don't belive everything you think

52.do you hear that? that's the sound of o-one caring.

injoy using them in the work place !!

Hmmm, seems I have said most of those things out loud at work actually. pmsl

LOL ,most of those are said by pretty much all of us to each other on a daily basis

Have to say i've used quite a few of those too, maybe that's why i don't speak to anyone from work when i'm not getting paid for it

I know what you mean!

53. some of your employees have boned girls in the office

Ha! Know that feeling oh too well

I will never remember all them

54. Never dip your pen in the company ink...

Especially if that ink pot is old and has been used by everyone in the office, your pen might clog up

Its the ink poisonin you want to avoid

yes, if your ink comes out green you should get down to the stationers

"Has someone borrowed my block plane? It was just here, only a few minutes ago".

54. Punctuation is not a replacement for using the space bar.

what bit of NO dont you understand is one i use a lot.......... (i put a smile on as well so they think im joking, although i'm NOT!!!)

55. NIPPLE TWISTER! - well, why not?

That's irony, right?