Scoobedoo

I started a new job with a local firm 5 months ago. I've been able to get on with everyone fine except one person. I honestly thought after a few months of settling in things would change but he's so objective to anything i say, never asks for my help and never offers any help. However he is completely the opposite with everyone else.

My job is quite technical and when I offered some helpful advice today he replied with a sarcastic remark which quite frankly was embarrassing to my intelligence. This isn't the first time this has happened. Fortunately no one in the room reacted as I later discovered they also though it was out of order what he said.

I nearly cracked today and lashed out, maybe not in the physical sense (although i'd like to!) but with some return verbal abuse but I restrained myself.

The atmosphere is really uneasy when he's around and I'm in that position where I don't feel comfortable doing my job having him sitting next to me. People tell me not to worry about it, but lets face it, it's easy coming from others who are not in that effected.

This evening I decided to tell my manager how I felt and they have admitted that I am not the only one with these concerns and that something will have to be done.

I believe I have done the right thing - didn't fancy a 1-2-1 with the guy in case is exacerbated the current situation....

Why are some people complete d**ks arrggghgh

Turbohot

Some people are ***** due to their own inadequacies. You did the right thing by talking to your management about it. Hope it gets sorted for you.

eClaire

One of my mates was in a very similar position quite recently. The only way something was done was when an official complaint was made to HR. Go for it, it sounds like he needs to be put in his place.

WRX marv

you did right fella....he was prob king off the hill untill you got there & prob feels a bit inadiquate & embarrased to ask for advice...

your a better person than him for not lashing out mate believe me...

if this approach does not work invite him out for a drink with you & your mate (mr 4 by 2 )

seriously you have done nothing wrong so why should you feel bad or uncomfatable in your workplace...he does need knocking down a peg or 3

ScoobyWon't

Ya bunch of bastids. I got fired today cos of that complaint

Only joking I used to be a real ****** for that sort of thing. I'd play devil's advocate with a cheeky tone of voice and a glint in my eye which would make people think I was just messing. As I generally was.

But the one's I really disliked would get the same treatment with much more venom and I'd be collecting evidence against them.

But I'm not a very nice person when someone's pissed me off.

Was I ever awkward? Oh, yes. Did anything ever comr back at me? Oh, no. Do I still do it? No, I merely save any occurences of people pissing me off for future occurences to repay the favour.

Have you done something to upset your colleague? It may be worth going for a coffee/cigarette together to see if you can just get on away from everyone else.

r32

I would think he's either threatened by you or jealous of you.

Stay on track, I imagine he cant be very happy either. You are in the driving seat, dont do any thing that would set your work colleagues against you.

Blue by You

iTrader: (23)

I worked with a guy like this for over 20 years. We had one or two face to face episodes in that time as you might imagine, and I wasn't the only one. People like this are nothing more than playground bullies.
The best advice I can offer you is to try and ignore him. If you like your job and your job likes you, just do your job and don't waste your energy worrying about what Mr. Sh*thead thinks, you don't work for him. It's quite plain from what you say that he's in the minority just like the guy I worked with.
Stay focused on your job as it's valuable. If he gets snotty over work issues, deal with it coldly and not emotionally (angry), he'll back off when he knows what you say is right. You can't take the pi$$ out of the truth.
If he gets personal take him to the cleaners along the discilpinary route. There are laws governing behaviour in the workplace, and your employer is bound to observe them.

Don't let him get you down mate

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

You don't hold a grudge then

Uurrgghh!

Maybe he's fed up of carrying other members of staff or having them ride his coat tails? I hate other people asking me for advice or help as if they don't know the answer they shouldn't be in the job they're getting paid for!

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

A couple of things:

have you passed your probation period with the company and are now a permanent employee?

Did you WRITE to your Manager or just speak to him?

If you have passed your probation period you have some more influence. Frankly, if a new starter begins complaining about a long term member of staff and that starter hasn't got through their probation, it'll be the starter that leaves.

Also, if you have put your complaint in writing, it is formal. There is a record of it and you effectively have your signature on the document (please folks don't start down the "it's only electronic" - this has been argued out in Court and the email is a formal document.... keep your passwords safe.)

The first step in these circumstances is aribtration. You should sit down with this person and your Line Manager and discuss the issues in a non-formal manner. This is not to say you go in there whinging and bitching. You should have your comments prepared and examples available. He can then respond and hopefully this will be the end of it.

If this approach does not work and the harrassment continues (and that's what it is) you should refer the matter in writing (e-mail) to your Line Manager. At this point you can choose to make the complaint formal. The easiest way is to simply say "I wish to formally complain about..." Include your evidence and witness statements (if applicable) and leave it to the management to sort out. You should have a company handbook to refer to if you have any doubts. Your Manager can supply one if required.

The Manager MUST now carry out an investigation and decide whether there is a case to answer (it already sounds like there is) and if so, the complaint is put to the member of staff (he will know it was you that complained at this point... and anyone else who joined in)

There will be a formal disciplnary hearing within a week where he will put his side forward and he is allowed representation at this time.

The Manager and an independent Manager will be at the meeting and they will decide upon the level of punishment once all the information is put to them(none, verbal, written, final written or dismissal)

I have to warn you that some people will use this occasion to make some pretty nasty statements - this is what the non-formal meeting is about... and why you MUST be professional at ALL times. Give them no ammunition.

Bottom line - ignore all the pitchfork waving, baying hounds and follow procedure. It does work, and frankly, you'll feel better for doing something positive about it all.


Good Luck.

Spoon

Christ!! Whatever happened to a good old chinning? The worlds gone mad I tell ya, mad!!

davegtt

Im suprised you havent took a quiet approach in talking to the collegue first, there are ways of having a quiet chat without it having to escalate. If we did go pear shaped then just keep your cool, walk out and then take it further. It may just be thats the type of person he is with regards to sarcasm etc. I wouldnt be too impressed if I was upsetting someone in the work place without intentionally doing it and nobody approached me before going crying to management.

MattW

Gawd I'm so glad to be a contractor.

r32

Of course there is always the old **** thing!
Put a couple of **** books in his desk and complain about him reading them at lunchtime or in the bog.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

I had this a few years back, a colleague belittleing me in front of other people, ever opportunity to have a go, some kind of Alpha male thing going on that I wasnt interested in, we had banter as people do but it got more aggressive and hurtful. He always played up his size, shorter, but wider than me by a fair measure and claimed all sorts of martial arts, I wasnt threatened by this, just annoyed and found it boring.

I had a quiet word, I basically asked if he had a problem with me as I didnt appreciate being spoken to like that, as I found it embarrassing as did anyone else in the vicinity and frankly it was making my day unpleasant.

He stopped for a bit, but couldnt help himself, did it a few more times so I gripped him on the stairs and said its got to stop, I said if it didnt he would have to put his "Skills" to the test and I was quite prepared to do it, take it outside that is and bugger the job but nobody talks to me like that, I had told him once and he had ignored it, this time I meant it, I said, he may well batter me senseless but he would have to explain why, it wouldnt be good for either of us, it was making my life hell, I was going home peed off and grumpy.

He was initally bullish and decided he would take me up on my offer, I then said, I dont see what your problem is with me, I have only ever been friendly and helpful, what is your problem,

Quite ready for a punch up to ensue, the big fat git started blubbing and told me his life story, he was in debt, couldnt get a girlfreind, lived with his parents and was a fat ****, he apologised for how he was then went home early to "have a think".

He came back in, we had another chat and I suggested some things that may help, like debt counselling and suggested swilling 2 pints of chocolate milk a day wouldnt help his figure, I suggested stuff he could do long term so the bugger went to the docs, got Prozac and went on a bender in Amsterdam with numerous ladies, he was much nicer after that.





So, you need to go in on the back foot, explain how his behaviour makes you feel, if that doesnt work a bit more forceful and involve others then if still no joy, all out war !

stilover

I have an issue with a work colleague too at the moment.

I share an office with basically a Bullsh*tter. Constant stories about how he's done this and that. Spent this and that etc etc.

As the months went on I got sick of his stories that inevitably ended with him or someone he knows doing soo much better than me. Owning something more expensive than me. Buying something bigger/more expensive than me. Etc etc.

Anyway I started ignoring him when he was talking sh*te. This he didn't like. As a couple months went on, I got called into the Bosses office. I listen to a radio at work that only me and my office colleague can hear. Of which he said he didn't mind. Next thing I know, the Radio is banned. Complaint has been made that people can't concentrate due to the radio. This was Bollox. He just said it to p1ss me off. One reason being so I could hear his bullsh*t stories when he was chatting in the next room.

Since then he's started a whispering campaign against me. My last work project was a nightmare. Lack of information meant I could spend some time doing nothing. Not my fault, it was just how the job was going. It was just unlucky that it was me given this particular job.

basically he's been saying that i don't do any work. I just sit around playing games, watching **** and general ******* about in work time. This has obviously got the whole office thinking this is what I do all day. Up to the point that it has been decided that my desk is to be moved right next to the back door, which is mostly wide open in all weathers. And that my desk is to face the wall, so everybody can see what I'm doing all day.

I hate it here now. Desk hasn't been moved yet, but will be before Christmas. I really want to just walk up and chin this tw*t. All the years I've worked here. Been involved in some of the biggest contracts we've taken on, for what? It all means nothing now.

Just my luck that the economy is in a poor state, as after the Christmas bonuses are handed out I'm thinking of handing in my notice.
If I do, on my last day this guy is getting chinned.

I know why he's doing it. He wants to get a mate from where he used to work into our offices. We need a man gone before another can come in.

Never thought is would affect me the way it has, but I dread coming to work on a morning now. I'm not sleeping to well thinking about it, and have started drinking more than usual.

The biggest kick in the teeth is that I work for my Dad. The whispering campaign has even got him thinking there is truth in it.

Blue by You

iTrader: (23)

That's a tough one.
If your old man can't see through this guy I think you're in for a difficult time unless you play your cards right down the middle. Perhaps you could try the Father/Son thing first (in private of course), but if that fails then you have to be prepared to take the official route and follow Kieran's outline above.
Your Dad should be able to take an objective view of things without giving you unnecessary preferential treatment, but he is also the top of the chain by the sound of things and is duty bound to investigate matters of harrassment.
BTW you cannot be singled out or victimised regardless of any transgression in conduct you are suspected of. You are entitled to be treated professionally and with respect right up to the point of dismissal if it comes to that. If there is normally a desk against the wall, or there's a general office re-arrangement and you have simply been asked to move there, there's not much to say about it really. But if it's used as a disciplinary measure as your post seems to indicate then you have cause for complaint. The naughty chair, standing in the corner, or desks against the wall are out of order if it's beyond the normal day to day operating conditions of your workplace.
Look on the bright side, at least sitting by the wall you won't have your ears filled with sh*t.

bigvern

iTrader: (1)

Hopefully you have a strong line manager who will deal with your grievences professionally. People like this are a cancer in the workplace.

Scooby-kid

USB missile launcher.

Scott

G00ner

I've had a few jobs over the years and the one common thing is that there is always one **** wherever you work.

it's difficult, but allowing yourself to get pushed out of the door by this guy is exactly what he wants, don't let him do it.

GC8

Did suggesting that he come and post on ScoobyNet, help him too?

This is him; isnt it?

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Nah, he is "Mostly Harmless"

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Never mind you chinning him, I want to and I am basically a pacifist, well maybe pacifist is stretching it but I am not prone to violence but he sounds like a ****.

Where does your dad fit in to the company, does he own it, I would make my dad sack the tosser if I were in that position.

I think you need Astraboys hints here.

GC8

Even Rhod would suggest banging him!

Scoobedoo

Hello and thanks for all the replies.

The guy is still a t1t and has made a few risky comments today which as my manager asked 'I keep controlled' until they speak to him tomorrow. They didn't say they would approach him in such a way as to expose the persons who had issues but I said if they wanted to they could as it doesn't bother me - hey it can't get any worse!

I've only discussed it with my manager verbally so far as I didn't think it necessary to put it in writing. They advised me it was unnecessary to take it up with the individual directly.

hehe, I learn a little more every day and this guy is so insecure. He was made redundant once in the past and today he came up in conversation that the company are looking to lay off people again. He was expressing that he really doesn't feel he can go through it all again. Ohhh, if they could threaten him with redundancy that could shut the pain in the **** up!

I've got another month before I'm no longer effect by the probation period that they impose. If the management can't sort him out they I will probably do something completely out of character and regret it but at least he won't have to worry about his teeth falling out as he won't have any skull structure to support them (thats a joke i hope)

I hope it gets sorted.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Anyone thought of "Wearing a wire", a suitable Mp3 with voice memo, wind them up a bit, then set it recording and capture the results for all to hear.

Uurrgghh!

TBH you seem (while even still on 3 month probation) to be a complete nightmare of an employee! Read back through your own posts and consider just how aggressive you sound towards this chap, I'd let you go without batting an eyelid if you worked for me!

stilover

Yeah, Dads company.

What goes around, comes around. Somewhere down the line I'll have the ******.

I also found out he'd been going to site meetings, and blaming me for things that have gone wrong on his jobs (That I'm not even involved with) so it doesn't make him look bad. Found that out off one of the site managers.

Unfortunately most people in the company (Dad included) thinks the sun shines out of his *rse, so him getting fired on my say so is a fantasy.

Only when/if I hand in my resignation will things come to a head. Will see what happens then.