SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

So I arrive back from my holidays over a month ago and land at Gatwick, then have to pick up the coach to where the car is parked on one of these out of airport parking spots.
Travelling with my kids who at the best of time are forgetful, but at 3 a.m you can imagine that they have neither common sense , brain power or indeed a rational thought in their body. So we get home in the very early hours of the morning only to discover that we have lost Fluffy the teddybear....cue lots of by my eldest.

I manage to speak to the car park and lo and behold, yes they have fluffy safe and sound and he is sitting on the reception desk. Great news but they wont post the bear and will only allow me to collect. First I have to establish that it is me and my bear and that I did indeed park at their carpark on the day I mention. Only then did they say " well now we know its your bear you are welcome to come down and collect" ....what just in case I phoned up on the off chance and wanted to claim someone's else's bear

Anyway there was no way I was going to drive all the bloody way down to Gatwick for a piggin bear so put it off for another day. So luckily some friends are going on holiday this week and they are using the same carpark. Great . They can collect the bear for me and save me a journey down there....

Jesus, the amount of hoops I had to jump through just for them to do that

They requested that I write a letter of authority for my friends to collect Fluffy the Teddy, detailing my reference number (yes they had one !! ), my car details, when I flew in etc. Then all my friends details, their car reg and when they are flying. Pretty much everything apart from fingerprints !!
Only when they had this letter in their hands would they release Fluffy

Obviously this is important because who knows who could just turn up and claim Fluffy.....sheez
Luckily my friend came around the house to pick the letter up, because if he hadnt I would have had to write out another letter of authority , authorising another friend to pass on the first letter to my friend who is then authorised.

I couldnt resist in asking the people at the carpark if they also found Duncan the Dolphin as my youngest son lost him somewhere, but I fear I could drown in red tape

davegtt

comical. Best joke youve told in ages Swiss

That is a laugh though, probably threw the teddy away or gave it to some other kid passing through, hence hoping the more akward they make it for you to claim the teddy you might just forget about it

AndyC_772

iTrader: (2)

Count yourself lucky that no teddy bear has yet been implicated in anything to do with terrorism...

Lee247

They will require your DNA, just to make sure it matches anything on Fluffy.

Can't hand him over to just anyone

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

I am sure they can get some DNA off one of the Fruit Shoot bottles we have littered around the house

rallychick

WHAT?!!!!! Not whilst I live here! I will have none of that! Messy f*****g boys!

CupraDave

iTrader: (1)

I believe I saw one laying around your place somewhere recently

will have another look and see if I can find it for ya mate

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

not THAT one

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

The letter is already in the glovebox of my car Just got to remember to ask for fluffy It's a bit of a joke to be honest. I'll let you know how we get on

Moley

iTrader: (9)

Swiss - if your friends can't pick it up let me know. I only live 2 mins away from Gatwick, so could grab it for you and send it up

FlightMan

Should have PM'd me Swiss. I'd have picked it up for you. I was in LGW today and walked right past lost property.

To be fair to the guys there, they have one process to follow for this sort of thing. Bit long winded if it's a teddy bear, necessary if it's a £3k digital camera!

bioforger

iTrader: (1)

fair point flightman BUT! and it's a big but, where's the feckin common sense used by the gimps who decide on the procedures and indeed who work in lost property? It's a stuffed feckin toy ffs, they should use some feckin nonce and bypass all the red tape!

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

Paul - nice one You are 'authorised' so feel free to pass through any security checks upon entering the APH lost and found section without hindrance and proceed to the secure "Stuffed animal" section. You may need a laminated pass with a one time passcode to access the 'shorthaired teddy section' however I think you may spot the perp upon your entry into said facility. Hopefully you dont get the rubber glove treatment and deny all knowledge of knowing me or my son if they ask

Gary-thanks for the offer, much appreciated, though I feel under the circumstances it would have been too much of a burden to bestow upon you and as pointed out, you are not authorised.

Flightman - again many thanks and should I need a low level bombing raid or flyby on the redtape factory, I shall call upon your services


8th of October is the day we find out if Mr Palmer has been successful in the raid codenamed operation " Paddington"

FlightMan

Common sense? This is BAA we're talking about!!

I'm up for a bombing run, but only if Les is flying!

Lee247

Swissy, if Paul is in charge of collecting Fluffy. Make sure he has not got his mobile phone with him. He spends most of his time trying to log into msn with it

Tam the bam

I didn't think Fluffy would be able to use a mobile phone!

oldsplice

Lee247

You have no idea what he can do

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

I dont know if Fluffy has the right tools to operate a mobile phone and he certainly hasnt been on a course or read the manual yet , however I believe Duncan the Dolphin can communicate using sonar so maybe he can alert us to his whereabouts providing he complies with all procedures on wireless transmissions in an area that is subject to aviation rules and regulations

Lee247

You clown

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

you big haired loon

Lee247

Not for long, it's getting the shears treatment next week. The bush needs pruning

Tam the bam

What about the hair on your head?

Lee247

Too slow, you did notice the I hope

little-ginge

Hair, singular? Havent you seen any photos of Lee, Tam? She definately has more than one hair on her bonce!

Lee247

It's definitely time for a trim

little-ginge

What is this? Emulate Bubba Po night??

I danae care aboot my sphelling and granmar tonite. Im in one of them moods

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

notice I've stopped using my phone for MSN recently lol. I've still got no broadband at home after the move so i've been using the phone but hopefully it hasn't been a problem

Anyways off on fluffywatch in one and a half hours

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

if fluffy is a light brown dog we have him

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

My god you loon !!!

Posting at that time in the morning

Great news, I shall pass it onto Swiss junior