How would you react to this question from a salesperson
11 July 2008, 08:44 AM
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How would you react to this question from a salesperson
Got a phone call from my mother last night telling me about this little incident, now being an unbiased bunch and more importantly a few women on here I'd thought I'd ask the SN massive what their reactions would be.
Mum went looking at new cars yesterday, now mum is always well presented (she's in her 50's) well spoken, and says what she thinks. I'm not going to name the dearlership, I'm just after reactions.
Anyway after comparing a 18 month old model to the new 1 next to it, she wanders round the new model for a better look when a salesman, came up to her and asked
"Is your husband being seen to?" The guy got both barrels off my mother, she doesn't wear a wedding ring, she was by herself (dad was outside talking to a sales man from another place talking about the T5 Camper they have).
Needless to say, she walked out of the dealership after that.
How would you have reacted?, especially the women here.
Mum went looking at new cars yesterday, now mum is always well presented (she's in her 50's) well spoken, and says what she thinks. I'm not going to name the dearlership, I'm just after reactions.
Anyway after comparing a 18 month old model to the new 1 next to it, she wanders round the new model for a better look when a salesman, came up to her and asked
"Is your husband being seen to?" The guy got both barrels off my mother, she doesn't wear a wedding ring, she was by herself (dad was outside talking to a sales man from another place talking about the T5 Camper they have).
Needless to say, she walked out of the dealership after that.
How would you have reacted?, especially the women here.
11 July 2008, 08:51 AM
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I think you, and your mum, have the wrong end of the stick here 
I'd find it hard to believe that a saleman in a dealership would say this in a sexual context.
Are you sure it wasn't just a straight question as the guy knew your dad came with her??
If he did say that as you think then of course the reaction is to walk out and then send a letter of complaint to the dealer principal. dl
I'd find it hard to believe that a saleman in a dealership would say this in a sexual context.
Are you sure it wasn't just a straight question as the guy knew your dad came with her??
If he did say that as you think then of course the reaction is to walk out and then send a letter of complaint to the dealer principal. dl
11 July 2008, 08:52 AM
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I',m surprised she didn't flatten him, what a pompous sexist little git. plenty of deals out there at the moment and glad she took her business elsewhere.
11 July 2008, 08:53 AM
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Got a phone call from my mother last night telling me about this little incident, now being an unbiased bunch and more importantly a few women on here I'd thought I'd ask the SN massive what their reactions would be.
Mum went looking at new cars yesterday, now mum is always well presented (she's in her 50's) well spoken, and says what she thinks. I'm not going to name the dearlership, I'm just after reactions.
Anyway after comparing a 18 month old model to the new 1 next to it, she wanders round the new model for a better look when a salesman, came up to her and asked
"Is your husband being seen to?" The guy got both barrels off my mother, she doesn't wear a wedding ring, she was by herself (dad was outside talking to a sales man from another place talking about the T5 Camper they have).
Needless to say, she walked out of the dealership after that.
How would you have reacted?, especially the women here.
Mum went looking at new cars yesterday, now mum is always well presented (she's in her 50's) well spoken, and says what she thinks. I'm not going to name the dearlership, I'm just after reactions.
Anyway after comparing a 18 month old model to the new 1 next to it, she wanders round the new model for a better look when a salesman, came up to her and asked
"Is your husband being seen to?" The guy got both barrels off my mother, she doesn't wear a wedding ring, she was by herself (dad was outside talking to a sales man from another place talking about the T5 Camper they have).
Needless to say, she walked out of the dealership after that.
How would you have reacted?, especially the women here.
A better response would have been to ask to see the DP or sales manager and ask him/her if they actively encourage or train their staff to be sexist and insulting and then point out that she will be going to another dealership to spend her money there.
Last edited by The Zohan; 11 July 2008 at 09:09 AM.
11 July 2008, 09:06 AM
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The Salesman probably saw your dad also arrive and speaking to one of his colleagues outside the showroom ...... he just wanted to make polite conversation with your mum, "Is your husband being seen to?" ...... I read this to be saying, "Your husband is outside chatting to my colleague, are you happy with that or do you want me to assist you in here?"
11 July 2008, 09:07 AM
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It's not uncommon, when I've gone in to a garage with the misses when she's buying a car the sales guys invariably look at me and ask me the questions. I just shrug and ask "why are you asking me, I'm not the one buying the car?"
11 July 2008, 09:09 AM
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The Salesman probably saw your dad also arrive and speaking to one of his colleagues outside the showroom ...... he just wanted to make polite conversation with your mum, "Is your husband being seen to?" ...... I read this to be saying, "Your husband is outside chatting to my colleague, are you happy with that or do you want me to assist you in here?"
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11 July 2008, 09:11 AM
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The Salesman probably saw your dad also arrive and speaking to one of his colleagues outside the showroom ...... he just wanted to make polite conversation with your mum, "Is your husband being seen to?" ...... I read this to be saying, "Your husband is outside chatting to my colleague, are you happy with that or do you want me to assist you in here?"
The salesman's approach was misguided and wrong for whatever reason which is why i would speak to their boss to let them know.
11 July 2008, 09:13 AM
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The Salesman probably saw your dad also arrive and speaking to one of his colleagues outside the showroom ...... he just wanted to make polite conversation with your mum, "Is your husband being seen to?" ...... I read this to be saying, "Your husband is outside chatting to my colleague, are you happy with that or do you want me to assist you in here?"
Wasn't 1 of his colleagues, It was a rival dealership to the 1 mum was in, they had actually parked down the road from the dealer mum was in, and mum had walked back by herself.
Knowing where they parked and the views from the dealer, I dobut very much that they would have seen them together.
11 July 2008, 09:55 AM
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My son works for a main dealer as a salesman.
He was trained to recognise that anyone who walked through the door was a potential customer...age, gender, colour, dress sense ,accent etc etc all immaterial. Be polite at all times and don't push plus lots more.
If a couple then address both, equally.
Perhaps a poor choice of words from the salesman and a polite note from your mother explaining what happened should be sent to MD so that corrections can be made.
JBL
He was trained to recognise that anyone who walked through the door was a potential customer...age, gender, colour, dress sense ,accent etc etc all immaterial. Be polite at all times and don't push plus lots more.
If a couple then address both, equally.
Perhaps a poor choice of words from the salesman and a polite note from your mother explaining what happened should be sent to MD so that corrections can be made.
JBL
11 July 2008, 10:13 AM
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It really annoys me when a car salesman treats you like an idiot because you are a woman looking at cars, they could at least give you the benefit of the doubt 
My Dad being 68 also gets treated like an idiot when he goes into a dealers, and on his last test drive knew more than the salesman about the STi he was testing 
I buy my cars from a dealer that knows I'm a petrolhead and treats me accordingly
If I'd have been your Mum I'd have questioned the salesman as to what he meant, and if he'd spluttered, gone red and tried to get out of it I'd have given him an extremely condescending put down before sticking my nose in the air walking out
If he'd genuinely meant something else I'd have told him what I thought he'd meant and had a laugh with him about it It's hard work being female sometimes, we want to be treated with respect but we don't want men thinking that we're stuck up feminists, I just like to give people the benefit of the doubt before letting them have it with both barrels
My Dad being 68 also gets treated like an idiot when he goes into a dealers, and on his last test drive knew more than the salesman about the STi he was testing I buy my cars from a dealer that knows I'm a petrolhead and treats me accordingly
If I'd have been your Mum I'd have questioned the salesman as to what he meant, and if he'd spluttered, gone red and tried to get out of it I'd have given him an extremely condescending put down before sticking my nose in the air walking out If he'd genuinely meant something else I'd have told him what I thought he'd meant and had a laugh with him about it
It's hard work being female sometimes, we want to be treated with respect but we don't want men thinking that we're stuck up feminists, I just like to give people the benefit of the doubt before letting them have it with both barrels
11 July 2008, 10:14 AM
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My mother would have corrected him, got the information that she needed and gone and bought from another dealer.
She may not have caused a scene but she wouldn't have given them any business.
She may not have caused a scene but she wouldn't have given them any business.
11 July 2008, 10:50 AM
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I feel that salesmen act quite weird when a woman goes in to buy a car, of course everyone has different experiences.
Before getting this scooby and in between getting rid of the other one we had to get a run around for a few months (which was a few weeks as the stupid thing blew up on a roundabout!). We went to get a Peugeot off a 2nd hand dealer, as soon as we walked in the bloke walked straight up to my hubby and I might aswell have been invisible, after asking my hubby a million questions he then just asked me what I thought of the car, I sarcasticlly just said 'what would I know, I'm only paying for it', the salesman's attitude totally changed. But was I interested then? No I wasn't so left and went elsewhere and gave them the nice envelope filled with cash to someone else with a better attitude towards a woman actually going to look at buying a car.
Same thing with this scoob aswell, garage were palming me off that there wasnt a problem with it as soon as we had got it, my hubby works 12 hr shifts 5 days a week so as you can imagine he couldn't just go to the garage, but everytime he phoned them saying about the problem he got a nice response, yes sir, no sir, we'll sort it for you etc etc, but when I spoke to them it was more a case of, well whats wrong with it! I ended up telling them what was wrong with it, but oh no that wasnt the prob, so one weekend we took it for an inspection and dropped by the garage on the way home and slammed a piece of paper down with the exact problem I had been telling them about, they listened and sorted it once it was on paper or when my hubby was telling them to sort it but with me I was just getting pathetic stories and nothing constructive being done! Funnily enough since then they have been very nice to me. I might be blonde but I'm not thick!
BTW, the problem was a rear diff, but being female I hadn't a clue what I was talking about.......................apparently
Before getting this scooby and in between getting rid of the other one we had to get a run around for a few months (which was a few weeks as the stupid thing blew up on a roundabout!). We went to get a Peugeot off a 2nd hand dealer, as soon as we walked in the bloke walked straight up to my hubby and I might aswell have been invisible, after asking my hubby a million questions he then just asked me what I thought of the car, I sarcasticlly just said 'what would I know, I'm only paying for it', the salesman's attitude totally changed. But was I interested then? No I wasn't so left and went elsewhere and gave them the nice envelope filled with cash to someone else with a better attitude towards a woman actually going to look at buying a car.
Same thing with this scoob aswell, garage were palming me off that there wasnt a problem with it as soon as we had got it, my hubby works 12 hr shifts 5 days a week so as you can imagine he couldn't just go to the garage, but everytime he phoned them saying about the problem he got a nice response, yes sir, no sir, we'll sort it for you etc etc, but when I spoke to them it was more a case of, well whats wrong with it! I ended up telling them what was wrong with it, but oh no that wasnt the prob, so one weekend we took it for an inspection and dropped by the garage on the way home and slammed a piece of paper down with the exact problem I had been telling them about, they listened and sorted it once it was on paper or when my hubby was telling them to sort it but with me I was just getting pathetic stories and nothing constructive being done! Funnily enough since then they have been very nice to me. I might be blonde but I'm not thick!
BTW, the problem was a rear diff, but being female I hadn't a clue what I was talking about.......................apparently
11 July 2008, 12:57 PM
#14
It annoys me that they exist like its the 1950's, things have moved on, my wife has had the same thing when she has been in dealerships, they make a bee line for the bloke and talk about the woman like she is an accessory, durr women earn money and have car buying needs as well.
I must add that women should make an effort to learn a little before going in a showroom as sounding clueless does add ammunition to the sexist car salesman.
To be honest, by and large I dont like dealing with them either, most of the time, sometimes you are pleasantly surprised like the young lad at the Altrincham Ford dealership who was a credit to the trade and then the Aftershave laden slimeball I dealtwith at a certain Warrington performance car dealership.
I would make a great car salesman, anyone want me selling some nice Aston Martins or something, no honest i would !
I must add that women should make an effort to learn a little before going in a showroom as sounding clueless does add ammunition to the sexist car salesman.
To be honest, by and large I dont like dealing with them either, most of the time, sometimes you are pleasantly surprised like the young lad at the Altrincham Ford dealership who was a credit to the trade and then the Aftershave laden slimeball I dealtwith at a certain Warrington performance car dealership.
I would make a great car salesman, anyone want me selling some nice Aston Martins or something, no honest i would !
11 July 2008, 01:01 PM
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11 July 2008, 01:20 PM
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As annoying it is for a female to be ignored or patronised in situations like this (assuming that to be the case) I personally feel your Mother missed out on a golden opportunity to do women justice. Letting rip only serves to fuel peoples ignorance.
Last edited by Spoon; 11 July 2008 at 01:26 PM. Reason: Missed a word
11 July 2008, 01:23 PM
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I have been asked by a salesman "What colour is it you're interested in?", nothing about make/ model etc. I turned round and walked straight out.
Years ago I went to buy a car with my then boyfriend and salesman completely ignored me and tried smarming round boyf until I pointed out he didn't even have a driving licence, again walked out.
Worse than that though is a very well known Scooby specialist that I used to use quite a bit but got fed up of their increasingly patronising attitude. I would walk into the place with my fella tagging along for company (long drive from our house), everything was directed towards my fella even down to them asking him to sign a permission slip for them to take a test drive if necessary -it's my car, not his and BTW they actually do a fair bit of work on his car so you think that would be a hint to them.
I did complain and asked the guy to please talk to me and not Mr L72 and his response was to laugh and carry on talking to fella.
I complained to the owner and his answer was "Never mind dear, you've had a nice day out".
Neither of us have been back since.
Years ago I went to buy a car with my then boyfriend and salesman completely ignored me and tried smarming round boyf until I pointed out he didn't even have a driving licence, again walked out.
Worse than that though is a very well known Scooby specialist that I used to use quite a bit but got fed up of their increasingly patronising attitude. I would walk into the place with my fella tagging along for company (long drive from our house), everything was directed towards my fella even down to them asking him to sign a permission slip for them to take a test drive if necessary -it's my car, not his and BTW they actually do a fair bit of work on his car so you think that would be a hint to them.
I did complain and asked the guy to please talk to me and not Mr L72 and his response was to laugh and carry on talking to fella.
I complained to the owner and his answer was "Never mind dear, you've had a nice day out".
Neither of us have been back since.
11 July 2008, 02:03 PM
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A few years ago Mr OS and I went into a dealers looking for a car for me. the salesman said..............'Shall we leave your dad to have a look around while we go through your details?' 
11 July 2008, 02:05 PM
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11 July 2008, 04:27 PM
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Don't we really have better issues to worry about than this...With all due respect she may well have heard him wrong...worry about serious issues in this world people!
11 July 2008, 04:39 PM
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time for an anecdote or two ...
mrs ghost is hopeless with anything on four wheels unless it's a drinks trolley or a henry hoover. when arranging her car insurance with sheila's wheels, she gave the answer "black" when asked the type of car. i remove the mini-glitter ball from the rear view mirror when i drive hers. and the pot pourri and hair band that hang from the gearstick. and the s-club 7 CD. and i always alter the steering rake once a month at a certain time.
10 years ago when we lived in london, she borrowed the scoob to drive to a meeting. she left at 7.45am. I left for work 45 minutes later and found her in a flustered paddy at the kerb still trying to undo the steering lock, too mortified to ask for help.
last year she drove to a meeting at the NEC. the ginger wraith got to junction 15 on the northbound M6 near chester before finally realising she was on the wrong carriageway. we live in rutland.
such is the glue of many a long and happy marriage ...
mrs ghost is hopeless with anything on four wheels unless it's a drinks trolley or a henry hoover. when arranging her car insurance with sheila's wheels, she gave the answer "black" when asked the type of car. i remove the mini-glitter ball from the rear view mirror when i drive hers. and the pot pourri and hair band that hang from the gearstick. and the s-club 7 CD. and i always alter the steering rake once a month at a certain time.
10 years ago when we lived in london, she borrowed the scoob to drive to a meeting. she left at 7.45am. I left for work 45 minutes later and found her in a flustered paddy at the kerb still trying to undo the steering lock, too mortified to ask for help.
last year she drove to a meeting at the NEC. the ginger wraith got to junction 15 on the northbound M6 near chester before finally realising she was on the wrong carriageway. we live in rutland.
such is the glue of many a long and happy marriage ...
Last edited by Holy Ghost; 11 July 2008 at 04:44 PM.
11 July 2008, 06:59 PM
#24
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Car Salesmen
Back in 2001 I was waiting for my bug-eye STi to be delivered..... went in to sign the deal the week before Xmas, and took my lil' sis' along for a jolly.
I didn't know but she wanted a 4x4, so four salesmen lined up giving me their "banter" when she chirps up, "Are any of you lot working ?"
They all laugh... I give them the "300" look, as I can only see death and severe blood-letting to follow shortly !
She scowls at them and one bravely asks what she wants... "The blue 4x4 on the front row of the forecourt, Please !". He foolishly laughed, and then wet himself as she went into "teacher humiliates hoody - mode".
One test drive later he had a sale, in the worst week of the year (?) for 2nd hand car sales....
I can still remember the look of fear on his face as she turned on him ! Priceless.
DunxC
I didn't know but she wanted a 4x4, so four salesmen lined up giving me their "banter" when she chirps up, "Are any of you lot working ?"
They all laugh... I give them the "300" look, as I can only see death and severe blood-letting to follow shortly !
She scowls at them and one bravely asks what she wants... "The blue 4x4 on the front row of the forecourt, Please !". He foolishly laughed, and then wet himself as she went into "teacher humiliates hoody - mode".
One test drive later he had a sale, in the worst week of the year (?) for 2nd hand car sales....
I can still remember the look of fear on his face as she turned on him ! Priceless.
DunxC
11 July 2008, 07:22 PM
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Back in 2001 I was waiting for my bug-eye STi to be delivered..... went in to sign the deal the week before Xmas, and took my lil' sis' along for a jolly.
I didn't know but she wanted a 4x4, so four salesmen lined up giving me their "banter" when she chirps up, "Are any of you lot working ?"
They all laugh... I give them the "300" look, as I can only see death and severe blood-letting to follow shortly !
She scowls at them and one bravely asks what she wants... "The blue 4x4 on the front row of the forecourt, Please !". He foolishly laughed, and then wet himself as she went into "teacher humiliates hoody - mode".
One test drive later he had a sale, in the worst week of the year (?) for 2nd hand car sales....
I can still remember the look of fear on his face as she turned on him ! Priceless.
DunxC
I didn't know but she wanted a 4x4, so four salesmen lined up giving me their "banter" when she chirps up, "Are any of you lot working ?"
They all laugh... I give them the "300" look, as I can only see death and severe blood-letting to follow shortly !
She scowls at them and one bravely asks what she wants... "The blue 4x4 on the front row of the forecourt, Please !". He foolishly laughed, and then wet himself as she went into "teacher humiliates hoody - mode".
One test drive later he had a sale, in the worst week of the year (?) for 2nd hand car sales....
I can still remember the look of fear on his face as she turned on him ! Priceless.
DunxC
women. deployed correctly, they are a brother/husband/boyfriend's most secret and deadly weapon.
11 July 2008, 10:59 PM
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maybe he was just asking a question to break the ice, fair enough it was the wrong question, but all she had to do was say that it was "her" that was looking for a car, and then she would have had a more positive response from the salesman, he might of even offered a better deal if your mum made him feel a bit guilty by accusing him of being a sexist pig 
