Ns04's Friday joke thread
27 June 2008, 12:09 PM
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Ns04's Friday joke thread
Future Darwin award winner:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6.../gunsafety.jpg
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I said to my wife, 'When I die I'd like to die having sex'
She said, 'At least we know it'll be quick'
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Risque one, meant in good humour!
How come the movie "White Men Can't Jump" isn't racist but, when I try to make a movie called "Black Men Can't Get Jobs", I get called a racist?
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A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?"
The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?"
No response,
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"
Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language...."
"Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6.../gunsafety.jpg
----------
I said to my wife, 'When I die I'd like to die having sex'
She said, 'At least we know it'll be quick'
-----------------------
Risque one, meant in good humour!
How come the movie "White Men Can't Jump" isn't racist but, when I try to make a movie called "Black Men Can't Get Jobs", I get called a racist?
-----------------------
A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?"
The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?"
No response,
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"
Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language...."
"Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
27 June 2008, 01:17 PM
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Apparently the government are introducing a discrimination bill to make it easier for women to find employment in traditionally male dominated areas.
There should definitely be more women judges, more criminals would be found guilty and sentenced, but none of them would actually know what they had done wrong.
There should definitely be more women judges, more criminals would be found guilty and sentenced, but none of them would actually know what they had done wrong.
27 June 2008, 01:20 PM
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Oldie, but good one!
I went home from work early today and found the plumber ******** my dog.
I phoned the police and they said there was nothing they could do.
They said the barsteward was Corgi Registered.
I went home from work early today and found the plumber ******** my dog.
I phoned the police and they said there was nothing they could do.
They said the barsteward was Corgi Registered.
27 June 2008, 02:55 PM
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Little boy crying in a Romford supermarket.
Man says to him "What's up son?"
The little boy replies "I cant find mummy"
The man says "What's mummy like?"
And the boy replies "Big ***** and Bacardi Breezers".
------------------------
What do you call Tim Westwood in a car?
A C*nt.
Man says to him "What's up son?"
The little boy replies "I cant find mummy"
The man says "What's mummy like?"
And the boy replies "Big ***** and Bacardi Breezers".
------------------------
What do you call Tim Westwood in a car?
A C*nt.
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