singledude

I recently met this girl on holiday. She shares the same taste in terms of fast cars etc which was cool.

Met up with her a few times. She smokes cigarettes which I wasn't keen on but the personality is good so went with it.

On the 3rd date she tells me about her past, that she got involved in drugs (a class A one to be precise) and that she was sent off to boarding school by her parents to sort it out - and hasn't touch the item since.

Anyway, on my previous date we were at this pub. A friend of the group disappeared into the ladies room and so did she. I later found out that she took some of this class A substance but to what extent I didn't know. Later outside I overheard her saying to her mate that the last time she touched it was a couple of months ago - not several years ago as I was initially told.

I asked her about it the following morning and she said didn't deny it but said she applied it to her gums. I was unimpressed that she even did that.

Coming from a background of NON-drugs (never even smoked ****!) I can't handle this in my head. I like her a lot but fear this complication will bring it all to an end. I fear that she does drugs more often now.

It's got me thinking now though about how much she does use the stuff. We spend the night together in a hotel a few weeks ago, she went into the wash room to get refreshed and all I could here was the taps on full blast for a good few minutes. Call me paranoid here but this has me wondering if the noise of the water flow could have been masking the sound of an otherwise unfavourable activity?

I really don't know what to do. Meet someone you really like and have this on your mind....

I talk to select people about this issue and they have mixed views. Some say put the nail in the coffin and move on. Some say stick with it as she has been honest so far and could mean she respects my feelings so things could change.

Not the type of topic you read on these forums everyday but someone must have been in this kind of boat?

every1sgottablue1

Just cause someone does drugs, doesn't make them a bad person! I say stick with her, but be warned if she is using regularly. When she gives up it will change her personality. Could be for the better or worse?

Uncle Pester

If something bugs you about a partner when you meet and have been out a few times then my experience is that it NEVER EVER goes away - you think about it everyday, for decades!

I would walk away and not settle for what pains you.

abbott

if you have never taken drugs and dont like people doing so the best advice i could give you is to rid of her my man !

if she has gone from being sent to boarding school because of coke , now shes beginning to dabble a little again , then obviously she is more than happy with her drug habbit , its going to do nothing but cause you unnessecary grief sir ,

and thats coming from an ex drug taker (2 weeks and counting !! )

Janspeed

iTrader: (1)

IMHO dude, and this might sound a bit harsh, I wont trust anything or anyone with someone who has had a "habit". This comes from personal experience.
There are several reasons for this, but I will bore you not.

Put simply, people change when they have been down the hardcore drug road and generally they will always have that bug in the back of their head. The tipping point is generally quite easy to get to after that.

Nonetheless some frontal questions and some pressure will generally get the "truth" out.

Oh and lying seems to be a trait that goes with the turf even when "sober".

Again it is my opinion.

Thks

singledude

Well before I make any decisions I really want to have a decent chat to her about it. See what her views are. I can't afford to let it drag on too much longer.

If I dump her she may hit the drugs again and I don't want that!

It's funny, the first time I met her she text me to say she was really nervous. When we actually met her pupils were really dilated. Got me thinking if she dabbled prior to our meeting to calm her nervs.... Like you say, it'll always be on my mind now.

ash002004

iTrader: (1)

just have a chat with her about it, tell her how u feel and that it bugs u shes blatantly still taking sniff.........tell her not to lie about it, and u can help her cut down on it, do more interesting things that she doesnt have to snort to get a buzz....take her mind off it

good luck though anyway...sounds like her parents are minted lol

DYK

you can either do two things,stay with it and ask her to give up the drugs and try and work it out with her and help her,this is depending on how much she likes you too.giving up drugs is hard for anyone,sounds to me like she has tried to give it up,but might just need that little extra push..OR however much you like her and whatever feelings you may have for this girl,just suck it all up,let it go and walk away..ultimatley you want her to give up the drugs,and you wont be content in your own mind until this happens.only you can really decide.

stilover

For me personaly, I'd walk away now.

I knew a girl that started out with a bit of weed here and there.
Went clubbing and started taking E's.
Met her a couple years ago.......... Full blow Heroin addict now. Shame really as she is quite a pretty girl.

After leaving college I worked in a warehouse for a couple years. The people there who only took a little something on a weekend all ended up doing it most nights by the time I'd left. Got called square etc because I didn't do drugs or smoked.

I always see people as sad when they need to take drugs `just` to have a good time.

I was also out one night in Middlesbrough with a few mates when a friend of someone in my group came along to join us. He went onto die that night after taking an E in one of the clubs.

If this girl likes taking drugs every now and then, and those drugs are cocaine, heroin etc, it won't be long till she gets hooked. Especially if she hangs around with people who also take drugs. If your deeply involved with her when she gets hooked, your life will become miserable

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Coke is nothing mate .... if she has a little sniff every now and then good for her... if shs starts to develop a habit kick her out.

Have to say though .. even the skanks I used to hang round didn't do coke..

lol @ applied it to her gum's

oh and coke wont calm your nerves....

scoobyvirgin

It could be worse, I thought you were going to tell us she farted in bed

Spoon

Not the honesty or respect I like.

Its clear to me she can't be trusted and if you can't accept drugs and the whole 'drugs thing' sits uncomfortably with you then let her go. She not only lied to you but blatantly took the píss out of you while out for the night.

Watch your car isn't somewhere she stashes the drugs either or you could find yourself answering some questions.

cster

You have to ask yourself if it is a good idea to invest your life in someone who takes these drugs.
Then there is the question of any children you may wish to share with her.
In the long term, I would say it would be unwise to take such an unnecessary risk.

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

I suppose we all look for different things. For me, drugs would be an issue, however the biggest issue are the lies.

If she has been sent off to boarding school to solve a problem then clearly it must have been a pretty big issue. An issue that her parents felt they were unable to resolve.

If you have an addiction I have been lead to believe that you either kick it completely or it comes back. Just like a recovering alcoholic cannot ever have a drink again, or they will be back down the slippery slope. I think the same applies to drugs. If you have been an addict you can never go back to them.

A lying girlfriend who has probably been a drug addict, and is still taking them is a tough call to take on. You'll have to watch your money VERY carefully.

A friend of mine went out to serve in Afghanistan. His girlfriend of a few years seemed fine while he was out there, but he started to get a few strange messages in the post. Turns out while he was out there his "girlfriend" helped herself to £20k of his cash and then did a runner.

hectic

Run man, run ,.. run for your life, and dont look back

corradoboy

Bang her in every depraved way possible 'til the novelty wears off, and as the relationship is doomed anyway, try it on with her mates, sisters and Mum

As others have said, the fact that she has already lied and disguised her habit means she probably will continue to do so. You don't want the lies to extend to secret loans on a shared property, hidden credit card bills, debt collectors and CCJ's, so get what you want from her and wave bye-bye. For me, smoking is enough to put me off when I spot them across a room, but I will temporarily forgive moderate drug use as it doesn't stink or endanger my health.

scoobyvirgin

I think we need pictures before we can give a definitive answer.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

and when she complains give her some class A

JimmyBFC

so wot, she does a bit of sniff, if she just has it occaisonally then I don't see a prob, im no angel, ive taken it in the past, more for the fact I could stay out longer drinking if I took a bit, **** happens, don't do it now, waste of money tbh, but then again I don't drink much either.

Maybe she lied because shes a bit embarassed herself? At the end of the day you can usually tell if you like a bird within the first 5 mins I reckon, if you've any doubts and its a really big issue, tell her and move on, if you get on well, maybe she'll eventually not bother with it, but either way, its upto her ultimately aint it.

In all honesty mate, ppl on here tbh really suprise me with their opinions...but whats what they are...opinions..

Some it seems have lived a really sheltered life, most my age in the late 80's and 90's were around E's and pills on a weekly basis, these days its coke, everyone is at it, even ppl you wouldn't have thought, its not big, and its not clever, but it doesn't make the ppl bad.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Take up Coke, shared interests and all that, you can go and score together, rob off licences, nick car stereos.....

JimmyBFC

I think you've got crackheads and sniff takers mixed up pal.

Most of my mates take the stuff on week-ends, fair play, their choice, but most have highly paid skilled jobs, im yet to see them go around stealing stereo's and burgling.....a great example of someone who watches and reads too much **** IMO.

Sorry if it offends you or you dislike it, but you couldn't be further from the truth.

Jamescsti

Get rid of her fella, it's not like she just farts in bed or something, and it's probably fair to say she has an addiction, not worth the hassle, plenty more fish in the sea and all that

richs2891

Get shut - think that you have already decided that you dont trust her and I dont think I would either. But do agree with Corradoboy - bang her sensless first!

Richard

warrenm2

Dump her - why sign up for trouble? She is a liar and an "ex" addict. There are plenty more fish in the sea - you dont have to settle for this. Have some standards FFS

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Totally agree.. Coke has a real bad rep as its a Class A .. and although I dont take it myself .. its not something to be too concerned about.

Sniffing every now and then is harmless.. medically (so long as the stuff is clean)

mart360

blow her out,


if she suddenly needs funds for her habit, who's gonna be paying? her or you??



Mart

gazza-uk

Cant you get hold of some drug testing swabs ???

corradoboy

Why complicate things and delay the inevitable ? His existing doubts mean the relationship is going nowhere, so get out of it what you can until a better prospect looms. Everybody knows that it's easier to attract women when you've already got one

Course of action....

Deviant perversion with the junkie,

the same with her sister(s),

then the mates,

then the mother if she's still worth it,

and all the while on the prowl for a suitable replacement

j4ckos mate

its no big deal tbh, i doubt there arent many bars without traces of it,

if shes a looker put up with it till something better comes along

JimmyBFC

In all fairness, I think the very fact you (the OP) started this thread says to me you have already decided deep down that she isn't right for you.