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Old 11 March 2008, 04:32 PM
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SwissTony
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Default New words for 2008

* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.

* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* GOING FOR A Mc****.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a Mc**** with Lies.

* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level oftraining.

* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10 Pinter in your bed instead.

* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am.

* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.


Old 11 March 2008, 04:36 PM
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sti-04!!
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BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

That works for me every weekend
Old 11 March 2008, 04:48 PM
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Aye Beer Compass is a wonderful device, get a in a taxi and you can sit there going erm, dunno that way Get out and walk and you know exactly where youre going
Old 11 March 2008, 05:34 PM
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Werent they new words for 1008 as well
Old 11 March 2008, 05:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Sonic'
Werent they new words for 1008 as well

bloody salad dodger
Old 11 March 2008, 05:44 PM
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Paul3446
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We were using Swamp Donkey in 1992!

I can picture her face still!
Old 11 March 2008, 06:02 PM
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chris singleton
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I do believe that most of those have been robbed from Roger Mellie's Profanisaurus
Old 11 March 2008, 06:07 PM
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chris singleton
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My personal favourite is "wizard's sleeve n. Clown's pocket. A particularly capacious sausage wallet. As in, 'I can't feel a bloody thing. You must have a fanny like a wizard's sleeve"
Old 11 March 2008, 06:25 PM
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Well that's just great........not seen some of those, and have LOL so much tears ran down my face.

Cheers for that.

Alcazar
Old 11 March 2008, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by chris singleton
You must have a fanny like a wizard's sleeve, sleeve, sleeve......."
Old 11 March 2008, 06:30 PM
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a few more


* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking b*llocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and Then leaves.

* ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE *******.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".


* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

* ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.

* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just Made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
Old 11 March 2008, 07:42 PM
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Going from mildly amusing to hilarious
Old 11 March 2008, 09:00 PM
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SwissTony made me laugh shocker!
Old 11 March 2008, 09:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Scoobychick
SwissTony made me laugh without removing his trousers shocker!
Sorry Sal...........had to be done!
Old 11 March 2008, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Scoobychick
SwissTony made me laugh shocker!
So you've seen his elephant impression then...
Old 11 March 2008, 10:11 PM
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I leave you lot alone for 5 mins and you are rubbishing my good name
Old 11 March 2008, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Einstein RA
So you've seen his elephant impression then...


Old 11 March 2008, 10:22 PM
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I'm sure Swiss will disagree.
Old 11 March 2008, 10:48 PM
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SwissTony
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Originally Posted by Bubba po



his **** is in proportions
Old 11 March 2008, 11:21 PM
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Isn't 404 some bloke on S'net ?

LOL

DunxC

P.S. I'm Seagull managed from the adminisphere !
Old 12 March 2008, 12:24 AM
  #21  
robby
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salad dodger was common 10 years ago along with

soap dodger - gipsy/ dirty person

window licker - some1 window shopping without the intention of buying (also known as tyre kicker)
Old 12 March 2008, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Paul3446
We were using Swamp Donkey in 1992!

I can picture her face still!
yeh my lot too but it's the swamp donkey bush pig crosses ya gota watch out for nasty waking up next to one of them when the mystrey taxi's been round!!
Old 12 March 2008, 09:37 AM
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Originally Posted by robby
salad dodger was common 10 years ago along with

soap dodger - gipsy/ dirty person

window licker - some1 window shopping without the intention of buying (also known as tyre kicker)
Along with a todger dodger = lesbian
Old 12 March 2008, 11:53 AM
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Vsry good Swiss-thanks.

Les
Old 12 March 2008, 01:02 PM
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*****, got coffee all over my monitor now.

cracking find mate
Old 31 March 2008, 05:55 PM
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Good thread.

How about

*NORWICH - knickers off ready when I come home
Old 31 March 2008, 06:06 PM
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LOL brilliant thread, Swiss!
Old 31 March 2008, 06:10 PM
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SwissTony
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Originally Posted by wilffive
Good thread.

How about

*NORWICH - knickers off ready when I come home
My dad used to be in the Royal Navy and when he was away for months on end, he used to write letters to my mum and signed the back of them

NORWICH.....he explained to me what it meant when I was older

Tried it with my girlfriend except it has to read TORWICH, which isnt a name of a town
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