dsmith

A polar bear went into a bar and said, "Can I have a gin and . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tonic, please?"

The bartender put it on the bar and said, "Sure, but what's with the

large pause?"

he polar bear answered, "Dunno. I've always had 'em, though."

<Insert clash of symbols & Canned Laughter here>

druddle

heeheeheehee

my mother-in-law.............

SWRTWannabe

And while the polar bear was in the pub, a voice said "You've got nice fur"
Confused as there is noone at the bar but the bear, he calls over the barman and asks him where the voice came from.
"That's the peanuts" said tha barman, pointing to a bowl of peanuts on the bar, "they're complimentary"

druddle

ooooh stop it, my sides hurt

Brendan Hughes

Was that the one where the cigarette machine started calling the polar bear all sorts of names, and telling him to step outside?

Hopefully the barman explained that, while the peanuts were complimentary, the cigarette machine was out of order...

Scrappy2

Giraffe walked into a bar - ordered a pint - barman say's why the long face?

Scrappy2

Guy walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm - goes to the bar and says to the barman 'pint of beer please... and one for the road'

DavidRB

An English man, an Irish man and a giraffe walk into a bar and the barman says "What's this? Some kind of joke?".

Richard Askew

A guy walks into a bar with a horses head under his arm and puts it on the bar.....
"you can leave that lying there" said the barman
the guy replies "thats not a lion you **** thats a horses head"....



TAXI!!!!!

Mr.Cookie

A blonde walks into a bar



"ouch"

paulr

What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

paulr

Just to even it up

Why do men name their pen!ses?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions

scooby555

What's the difference between a women and a beer ???












A beer dosent get upset when you pop another one.......

BuRR

Bloke walks into a bar with a set of jump leads. The barman says "Now don't be starting anything!"

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "We don't server food in here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

teen_machine

lol..where do u find all these????

dsmith

That's what mail was invented for

BOB.T

and the barman replies " I'm not serving him, he's a cyclepath"!!

Bob

mega_stream

Local paper reported 2 teens arrested, one caught drinking battery acid, one eating fireworks.





Police charged one and let the other off.