std test help me lads
13 January 2008, 05:29 PM
#1
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std test help me lads
I have been with my new girlfriend now for a few months and we have started sleeping together but most times with out a condom. I have had a few relationships before and a couple one stands. I have never been checked out and i think i should i dont have any syptoms or signs but i think i just need to no. I am 24 i no i should have gone before but i have been put of by all the horror stories.
Help me out lads what actuallys happens when you go now do they still stick a bud down the top and take a swap that bt has put me right off or is it just a urine sample.
Are these homes tests any good. Any one recommend one or should i just go and get tested.
thanks
Help me out lads what actuallys happens when you go now do they still stick a bud down the top and take a swap that bt has put me right off or is it just a urine sample.
Are these homes tests any good. Any one recommend one or should i just go and get tested.
thanks
13 January 2008, 05:48 PM
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Firstly mate, just book it up and do it. Don't sit about worrying about it for months as you'll just wind yourself up.
I went for the 1st time about a year ago, not knowing what to expect.
It's all done very confidentially so nothing to worry about there.
Goes something like this.
Turn up. Have a chat with the doctor (I assume), you just explain why you're there, answer a few basic questions, nothing particularly invasive.
A few minutes later go in the to nurses room. She has a quick look, takes a quick swab from the "top" of your manhood. It's not shoved down there. You can opt to take a blood test for HIV and stuff if you want.
Your sent to the toilet to produce the urine sample. Then you head home.
2 weeks later you call them and get your results. "All clear" never sounded so good.
The worst part for me was worrying about going beforehand and then worrying about the results. The actual deed was nothing to worry about.
I wouldn't be that bothered about going again if i had to.
Hope that helps.
I went for the 1st time about a year ago, not knowing what to expect.
It's all done very confidentially so nothing to worry about there.
Goes something like this.
Turn up. Have a chat with the doctor (I assume), you just explain why you're there, answer a few basic questions, nothing particularly invasive.
A few minutes later go in the to nurses room. She has a quick look, takes a quick swab from the "top" of your manhood. It's not shoved down there. You can opt to take a blood test for HIV and stuff if you want.
Your sent to the toilet to produce the urine sample. Then you head home.
2 weeks later you call them and get your results. "All clear" never sounded so good.
The worst part for me was worrying about going beforehand and then worrying about the results. The actual deed was nothing to worry about.
I wouldn't be that bothered about going again if i had to.
Hope that helps.
13 January 2008, 05:51 PM
#6
yeah i had that done a few years ago - an umbrella swab (feels as tho they stick a needle in)
the scary part is when the doc asks about your past and mentions aids - very scary time and for that you have a blood test. The test has to be redone 6 months later as it can take that long for signs to show - 6 months of worrying means a rubber is top of the list when you meet someone new
the scary part is when the doc asks about your past and mentions aids - very scary time and for that you have a blood test. The test has to be redone 6 months later as it can take that long for signs to show - 6 months of worrying means a rubber is top of the list when you meet someone new
13 January 2008, 05:52 PM
#7
Just asked my relative who is a doctor. Swab the urethra for gonorrhea and chlamydia. Also a urine test to check for puss cells indicating an infection. You must not urinate for 3 hours before the urine test. You can have an infection but be asymptomatic(no signs of infections) so go to the local STI clinic for a check up, can be done annomously. They can also check for more serious infections via blood sample.
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13 January 2008, 06:21 PM
#8
Get yourself down there, its not so bad, I had a dose of ***** warts, not much fun, J4ckos mate always like to have a butchers when we were in a club having a pee and we had had a few beers, in fact he used to insist the other lads with us had a look and occasionally a passing stranger ! just so they could go "F*ckin Elll mate", "oh and its got some warts on it"......
Went to the pox doctor, not scary really, they gave me this stuff that made the warts fall off, but not the proper stuff so I had months of sore ****, they then gave me the real deal that was better but it was too advanced, amputation was the only option, no actually burning them off was, now I don't know about you but I had never had a an Indian Doctor in full Apu voice say "Thats very very nasty" before burning them off with what looked like a soldering iron, the smell of burning **** wafting up.
The aftercare appointments were interesting, decent looking nurse with an interest in seeing my ****, sat in the waiting room thinking "Must not get a boner", "must not get a boner" so went in nursing an impressive Semi, I had to demonstrate my retraction ability to get signed off as the burning can cause scar tissue that can prevent pulling it back, she nearly got an eyeful when she suggested frequent masturbation was the best way to ensure it still works.
Went to the pox doctor, not scary really, they gave me this stuff that made the warts fall off, but not the proper stuff so I had months of sore ****, they then gave me the real deal that was better but it was too advanced, amputation was the only option, no actually burning them off was, now I don't know about you but I had never had a an Indian Doctor in full Apu voice say "Thats very very nasty" before burning them off with what looked like a soldering iron, the smell of burning **** wafting up.
The aftercare appointments were interesting, decent looking nurse with an interest in seeing my ****, sat in the waiting room thinking "Must not get a boner", "must not get a boner" so went in nursing an impressive Semi, I had to demonstrate my retraction ability to get signed off as the burning can cause scar tissue that can prevent pulling it back, she nearly got an eyeful when she suggested frequent masturbation was the best way to ensure it still works.
13 January 2008, 06:57 PM
#9
Get yourself down there, its not so bad, I had a dose of ***** warts, not much fun, J4ckos mate always like to have a butchers when we were in a club having a pee and we had had a few beers, in fact he used to insist the other lads with us had a look and occasionally a passing stranger ! just so they could go "F*ckin Elll mate", "oh and its got some warts on it"......
Went to the pox doctor, not scary really, they gave me this stuff that made the warts fall off, but not the proper stuff so I had months of sore ****, they then gave me the real deal that was better but it was too advanced, amputation was the only option, no actually burning them off was, now I don't know about you but I had never had a an Indian Doctor in full Apu voice say "Thats very very nasty" before burning them off with what looked like a soldering iron, the smell of burning **** wafting up.
The aftercare appointments were interesting, decent looking nurse with an interest in seeing my ****, sat in the waiting room thinking "Must not get a boner", "must not get a boner" so went in nursing an impressive Semi, I had to demonstrate my retraction ability to get signed off as the burning can cause scar tissue that can prevent pulling it back, she nearly got an eyeful when she suggested frequent masturbation was the best way to ensure it still works.
Went to the pox doctor, not scary really, they gave me this stuff that made the warts fall off, but not the proper stuff so I had months of sore ****, they then gave me the real deal that was better but it was too advanced, amputation was the only option, no actually burning them off was, now I don't know about you but I had never had a an Indian Doctor in full Apu voice say "Thats very very nasty" before burning them off with what looked like a soldering iron, the smell of burning **** wafting up.
The aftercare appointments were interesting, decent looking nurse with an interest in seeing my ****, sat in the waiting room thinking "Must not get a boner", "must not get a boner" so went in nursing an impressive Semi, I had to demonstrate my retraction ability to get signed off as the burning can cause scar tissue that can prevent pulling it back, she nearly got an eyeful when she suggested frequent masturbation was the best way to ensure it still works.
13 January 2008, 07:16 PM
#10
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me too. that was amazing.
My friend had simelar wart's from doing some wrong dirty bird...
a trip to Hans Blixx **** vandall soon had then burnt off. We thought it was amazingly funny. He didnt.
now lad's.....
even tho its not christmas, WRAP UP!
My friend had simelar wart's from doing some wrong dirty bird...
a trip to Hans Blixx **** vandall soon had then burnt off. We thought it was amazingly funny. He didnt.
now lad's.....
even tho its not christmas, WRAP UP!
13 January 2008, 08:41 PM
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ive had a tube (did infact type "tuber " then, that would be even funnier still)up my nudger for a bladder test, they numb it with cream so it doesnt hurt really, does make you want to **** though when you bladder is filled up.
on the subject of his warts,
i can confirm that his foreskin was shaped like a cornish archiepelago with tapioca on top
when it was shown in the valley lodge bogs in wilmslow we all used to say "ooh yet mate its not as bad as last time" then turn away grimacing "****in jesus christ" there is a picture of usall in faliraki all smiling except for j4cko as he had put his wart cream on, and is wincing in pain
come on jacko post the pic up! not of your ****.
on the subject of his warts,
i can confirm that his foreskin was shaped like a cornish archiepelago with tapioca on top
when it was shown in the valley lodge bogs in wilmslow we all used to say "ooh yet mate its not as bad as last time" then turn away grimacing "****in jesus christ" there is a picture of usall in faliraki all smiling except for j4cko as he had put his wart cream on, and is wincing in pain
come on jacko post the pic up! not of your ****.
14 January 2008, 08:57 AM
#14
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This is where being really fat and ugly like me pays off ........ I couldn't get a **** if my life depended upon it!!
Hence, my ***** is in perfect shape and the only Aids I get are assists to get into the bath and to eat my porridge!
Hence, my ***** is in perfect shape and the only Aids I get are assists to get into the bath and to eat my porridge!
14 January 2008, 09:36 AM
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Just book an appointment at your local GU clinic, its nothing to be scared of. They'll take a swab from the end of your jap's eye and a sample of your blood and that's about it. I went after I barebacked a complete trollop on a drunken one night stand and was completely sh*tting myself but it isn't so bad and worth it for the peace of mind.
14 January 2008, 12:14 PM
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Dont let your new girlfriend know what you are doing otherwise she may start thinking you think she has giving something to you! You know how womens minds work 
14 January 2008, 12:25 PM
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Id be more worried that if youve been with her a few months and youre only going for a check up now, she'll think you've been messing around behind her back. In a similar predicament myself And I havent been messing around either.
And I havent been messing around either.
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