davegtt

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drinkI feel shame. Then I look into the glass and thinkabout the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopesand dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be outof work and their dreams would be shattered.Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let theirdreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hellhappened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When theywake up in the morning, that's as good as they'regoing to feel all day. "~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. < /ST RONG> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Whe n I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Whe n we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's allget drunk and go to heaven!"~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Bee r is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Wit hout question, the greatest invention in thehistory of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that thewheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel doesnot go nearly as well with pizza."~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones a the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Ex cessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

RMA26

Thief, you stole that from me !!

davegtt

Liar

RMA26

Should i post the original email?

Tam the bam

Oh get a room you two!

davegtt

Nothing to do with me, he follows me around like a lost puppy

Tam the bam

Stop feeding him biscuits and he might go away!