the winalot diet
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the winalot diet
Story by a Man standing in a queue in Tesco's.........
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was
standing in the queue at the till. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the road licking my ***** and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was
standing in the queue at the till. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
sitting in the road licking my ***** and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 392
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From: SE15/EC4
Very funny
Thread Starter
Scooby Regular
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 83
Likes: 0
another one
Subject: The Pastor's ***
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read; PASTOR'S *** OUT IN FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headlline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ***.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper ,
hearing the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nn that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS *** FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the paper read; NUN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is.......being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life..Stop worrying about evryone else's *** and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read; PASTOR'S *** OUT IN FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headlline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ***.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper ,
hearing the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nn that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS *** FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the paper read; NUN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is.......being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life..Stop worrying about evryone else's *** and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
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