Anyone else ever had an affair or know someone who has?
29 May 2007, 03:44 PM
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Anyone else ever had an affair or know someone who has?
Im new to ScoobyNet so not sure if this is the right place for this question but ive read some of the threads and think it should be ok and hope you guys can offer some advise. I do have a Scoob if your wondering.
In short, I’m ashamed to say that I had an affair with a girl I used to work with and although it’s over now, I can’t get her out of my head. Had I been single then she would have been the one for me, but my girlfriend is my best mates sis and I do love her and we’ve been together for a few years snow. I love them both. Getting pressure to settle down but with all this **** in my head, don’t know what to do. Not sure if I’m really ready for that anyway but that’s another issue. Don’t want to waste anyones time. I do bump into her from time to time which doesnt help. Stirs it all up again.
Dont know what to do. Don’t think ill ever really get over her properly. Should I go for it cause Ill never get her out of my head. When I weigh it all up I know I wont forget about her but could still be ‘happy’ as I am. Am sure it will get better with time. If I start something new, I know it will be wicked but have a lot to lose too. Maybe she is worth that? I’m split with this and don’t know what to do. Don’t want to make any more **** ups. Is it a case of, if I did it in the first place, then probably don’t love my girlfriend as I should anyway and she deserves better? The thought of the girl on the side with someone else does me in.
Advise welcome as I cant talk to anyone about this and its doing my nut in.
Cheers
Sid
In short, I’m ashamed to say that I had an affair with a girl I used to work with and although it’s over now, I can’t get her out of my head. Had I been single then she would have been the one for me, but my girlfriend is my best mates sis and I do love her and we’ve been together for a few years snow. I love them both. Getting pressure to settle down but with all this **** in my head, don’t know what to do. Not sure if I’m really ready for that anyway but that’s another issue. Don’t want to waste anyones time. I do bump into her from time to time which doesnt help. Stirs it all up again.
Dont know what to do. Don’t think ill ever really get over her properly. Should I go for it cause Ill never get her out of my head. When I weigh it all up I know I wont forget about her but could still be ‘happy’ as I am. Am sure it will get better with time. If I start something new, I know it will be wicked but have a lot to lose too. Maybe she is worth that? I’m split with this and don’t know what to do. Don’t want to make any more **** ups. Is it a case of, if I did it in the first place, then probably don’t love my girlfriend as I should anyway and she deserves better? The thought of the girl on the side with someone else does me in.
Advise welcome as I cant talk to anyone about this and its doing my nut in.
Cheers
Sid
29 May 2007, 03:46 PM
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Ok ... Calm down.
The way forward is to get both of them pumped as much as you can until you get caught. The brightest one will still be with you.
The way forward is to get both of them pumped as much as you can until you get caught. The brightest one will still be with you.
Are you going to ask him out on a date ??
29 May 2007, 03:51 PM
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I think if you are going to be honest with yourself you would not have gone looking elsewhere if you were happy at home.
You have to make one hell of a decision and its not going to be easy but at the end of the day think about what you want for the rest of your life.
If you stay where you are now you know how life will pan out (pretty much), or do you risk everything and make a change?
Can you sit there and say you are as happy as can be? Do you think you can be happier elsewhere?
You were stupid to see another person at the same time as being with someone else but thats a side issue to the overall important question - think of yourself in 2 years time, where do you want to be?
If your answer is ***** deep in both women - I hate to burst your bubble but that aint on the cards.
You have to make one hell of a decision and its not going to be easy but at the end of the day think about what you want for the rest of your life.
If you stay where you are now you know how life will pan out (pretty much), or do you risk everything and make a change?
Can you sit there and say you are as happy as can be? Do you think you can be happier elsewhere?
You were stupid to see another person at the same time as being with someone else but thats a side issue to the overall important question - think of yourself in 2 years time, where do you want to be?
If your answer is ***** deep in both women - I hate to burst your bubble but that aint on the cards.
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29 May 2007, 03:54 PM
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The old 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence' scenario 
its all new and exciting isn't it.... no whinges, nagging, farting, money worries.... in fact no strings whatsoever!
Look Sid, its not real.... its pretend and should be left exactly as that, get a grip of yourself and stop stressing over something that will never work out!
PS - Can I have her number
its all new and exciting isn't it.... no whinges, nagging, farting, money worries.... in fact no strings whatsoever!Look Sid, its not real.... its pretend and should be left exactly as that, get a grip of yourself and stop stressing over something that will never work out!
PS - Can I have her number
29 May 2007, 03:59 PM
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I really don't think it is grass is greener. It's not about farting in bed or bills to pay, its the people themselves. Settling down in principle is something I really want just with who? I know I'm an ****!
29 May 2007, 04:02 PM
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But hey-ho, do what makes you happy, and if banging the office bint is your thing I suggest you make the most of it, as you don't deserve the girlfriend anyway!
29 May 2007, 04:02 PM
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Why did it end with the girl on the side?
All things like this ever do is **** a person up mentally, as you're now realising. You may decide to make the big jump, ditch your long term GF and get busy with the bit on the side but I'd bet a crisp £50 note that that would eventually go **** up also
Tuff decision you've got there fella and I don't envy you at all... perhaps some time to yourself may sort your head out?
29 May 2007, 04:03 PM
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29 May 2007, 04:04 PM
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Agreed with DCI. Everything new is good but deep down it doesnt mean shes perfect when she moves in and you realise shes lazy or not as perfect as you first thought.
Your obviously with your long term girlfriend because your happy with her IMO. Only you brightened up what essencially was routine. Quit what you had with the fling and put some more effort and dedication into the long termer. You know it makes sense.
Good luck
Your obviously with your long term girlfriend because your happy with her IMO. Only you brightened up what essencially was routine. Quit what you had with the fling and put some more effort and dedication into the long termer. You know it makes sense.
Good luck
29 May 2007, 04:04 PM
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I think this seems like a classic case of wanting something you can't (or shouldn't) have!
Everyone goes through it from time to time. I think its a panic reaction when you realise you've been with someone a long time and deep down you know the next step is settling down much more long term and then you panic and try and do something to retain your "freedom"!
In any good relationship you shouldn't feel like you're going to lose your "freedom" anyway.
The questions you really need to ask yourself is whether you are "in love" with your other half or whether you just "love" her. There is a big difference between the two and that difference is what seperates lovers and friends.
The way that you feel to the other girl that you had some fun with is purely just an extension of the fact she was something new and exciting and something you really shouldn't have been experiencing. Think how many times you did stuff when you were a kid that made you excited cos you knew that you'd get told off for doing it!!!
It sounds like you have an incredible amount to lose by continuing an affair as you will lose your partner and your best friend. Is it really worth it for a bit of fun now and then?
This bit of fun may sound a good idea but she may just turn out to be the kind of girl that is only up for a bit of fun with you and nothing more and you will have thrown everything away only to end up with nothing.
Sounds like you need to do some serious thinking of what you do and don't want in life and unfortunately as much advice as we can all give you the only person that can make that decision is you!
Don't spend your life agonising over it Scooby Sid. You'll know deep down what you really want and I'm sure you'll make the right choice.
Wheely xx
Everyone goes through it from time to time. I think its a panic reaction when you realise you've been with someone a long time and deep down you know the next step is settling down much more long term and then you panic and try and do something to retain your "freedom"!
In any good relationship you shouldn't feel like you're going to lose your "freedom" anyway.
The questions you really need to ask yourself is whether you are "in love" with your other half or whether you just "love" her. There is a big difference between the two and that difference is what seperates lovers and friends.
The way that you feel to the other girl that you had some fun with is purely just an extension of the fact she was something new and exciting and something you really shouldn't have been experiencing. Think how many times you did stuff when you were a kid that made you excited cos you knew that you'd get told off for doing it!!!
It sounds like you have an incredible amount to lose by continuing an affair as you will lose your partner and your best friend. Is it really worth it for a bit of fun now and then?
This bit of fun may sound a good idea but she may just turn out to be the kind of girl that is only up for a bit of fun with you and nothing more and you will have thrown everything away only to end up with nothing.
Sounds like you need to do some serious thinking of what you do and don't want in life and unfortunately as much advice as we can all give you the only person that can make that decision is you!
Don't spend your life agonising over it Scooby Sid. You'll know deep down what you really want and I'm sure you'll make the right choice.
Wheely xx
29 May 2007, 04:07 PM
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29 May 2007, 04:09 PM
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29 May 2007, 04:09 PM
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I hope you don;t ever find yourself in this situation matey! Go on, you wouldn;t cause your not stupid enough! Famous last words!
29 May 2007, 04:10 PM
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29 May 2007, 04:12 PM
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I think Davegtt has hit the nail..... you need to concentrate on putting the spark back into your relationship with your long term GF - boredom pure and simple.
If you feel you can't or are not sure that's what you want to do then you're ferked and should be on your own for a while
If you feel you can't or are not sure that's what you want to do then you're ferked and should be on your own for a while
29 May 2007, 04:14 PM
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Christ on a bike - you're a grumpy person!
29 May 2007, 04:15 PM
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29 May 2007, 04:16 PM
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but wait.... 
what about the girlfriend!! what will I do.....
29 May 2007, 04:21 PM
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You obviously knew what the thread would be about by the title so if you don't wanna hear it why did you even bother to read it! Obviously you just like reading about other people's misfortune.
Why don't you stick to reading posts about shiny cars - bit more on your level!
Why don't you stick to reading posts about shiny cars - bit more on your level!
29 May 2007, 04:21 PM
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You don't deserve your current girlfriend, she's deserves better so tell her what you've done and i'm sure she'll decide what she wants!! Its not fair for you to make that decision for her!! It will kill you to live with the lie too!! Once a cheat always a cheat but thats just my opinion, you'll do it again!!
Last edited by miss*scoobygav555*; 29 May 2007 at 04:24 PM.
29 May 2007, 04:25 PM
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