Mrs Ritchie and gymnastics?
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From: Maradona good; Pele better; George best
Mrs Ritchie and gymnastics?
Her indoors has come up with the idea of starting gymnastics.
Anyway I told her that she should do some Pilates, and I'll buy her a Beverley Callard fitness DVD for her birthday. Nah she isn't having any of it, damn biatch!
So this is how the conversation goes......
Mrs Ritchie.......''I want to start gymnastics to become more supple and just generally more fit, you know?''
DJVR.......''err why the **** for? I am not coughing up monthly memberships for no gymnastics twaddle.''
Mrs Ritchie........''It could be in your interest also.''
DJVR......''Go on.''
Mrs Ritchie.......''Well I want to do some wild stuff like swing from the chandelier, so you can administer the most amazing bout of cunnilingus.''
DJVR.....''Holy Fark are you for real, firstly you know what happened to grand dad in Only Fools & Horses with the chandelier and secondly I am not having the artex re-done AGAIN.''
Anyway she wants to start gymnastics no matter what, bloody women!
So my question is, is she too old to start? She's 21.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.............Keep an eye out in the Beijing Olympics for one fit biatch, hey you may even get a glimpse of DJVR
Anyway I told her that she should do some Pilates, and I'll buy her a Beverley Callard fitness DVD for her birthday. Nah she isn't having any of it, damn biatch!
So this is how the conversation goes......
Mrs Ritchie.......''I want to start gymnastics to become more supple and just generally more fit, you know?''
DJVR.......''err why the **** for? I am not coughing up monthly memberships for no gymnastics twaddle.''
Mrs Ritchie........''It could be in your interest also.''
DJVR......''Go on.''
Mrs Ritchie.......''Well I want to do some wild stuff like swing from the chandelier, so you can administer the most amazing bout of cunnilingus.''
DJVR.....''Holy Fark are you for real, firstly you know what happened to grand dad in Only Fools & Horses with the chandelier and secondly I am not having the artex re-done AGAIN.''
Anyway she wants to start gymnastics no matter what, bloody women!
So my question is, is she too old to start? She's 21.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.............Keep an eye out in the Beijing Olympics for one fit biatch, hey you may even get a glimpse of DJVR
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From: Maradona good; Pele better; George best
Thank you.
The last time I checked her birth certificate she was 21. I'm only 23!
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.........The Russians are the best gymnasts - I will defo have to sample a couple
The last time I checked her birth certificate she was 21. I'm only 23!
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.........The Russians are the best gymnasts - I will defo have to sample a couple
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Her indoors has come up with the idea of starting gymnastics.
Anyway I told her that she should do some Pilates, and I'll buy her a Beverley Callard fitness DVD for her birthday. Nah she isn't having any of it, damn biatch!
So this is how the conversation goes......
Mrs Ritchie.......''I want to start gymnastics to become more supple and just generally more fit, you know?''
DJVR.......''err why the **** for? I am not coughing up monthly memberships for no gymnastics twaddle.''
Mrs Ritchie........''It could be in your interest also.''
DJVR......''Go on.''
Mrs Ritchie.......''Well I want to do some wild stuff like swing from the chandelier, so you can administer the most amazing bout of tonsilitusingus.''
DJVR.....''Holy Fark are you for real, firstly you know what happened to grand dad in Only Fools & Horses with the chandelier and secondly I am not having the artex re-done AGAIN.''
Anyway she wants to start gymnastics no matter what, bloody women!
So my question is, is she too old to start? She's 71.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.............Keep an eye out in the Beijing Olympics for one fat biatch, hey you may even get a glimpse of DJVR's feet as he's lost inside
Anyway I told her that she should do some Pilates, and I'll buy her a Beverley Callard fitness DVD for her birthday. Nah she isn't having any of it, damn biatch!
So this is how the conversation goes......
Mrs Ritchie.......''I want to start gymnastics to become more supple and just generally more fit, you know?''
DJVR.......''err why the **** for? I am not coughing up monthly memberships for no gymnastics twaddle.''
Mrs Ritchie........''It could be in your interest also.''
DJVR......''Go on.''
Mrs Ritchie.......''Well I want to do some wild stuff like swing from the chandelier, so you can administer the most amazing bout of tonsilitusingus.''
DJVR.....''Holy Fark are you for real, firstly you know what happened to grand dad in Only Fools & Horses with the chandelier and secondly I am not having the artex re-done AGAIN.''
Anyway she wants to start gymnastics no matter what, bloody women!
So my question is, is she too old to start? She's 71.
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.............Keep an eye out in the Beijing Olympics for one fat biatch, hey you may even get a glimpse of DJVR's feet as he's lost inside
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From: Maradona good; Pele better; George best
Oi Fred West you can shut it too!
So who do I need to contact? I want the best gymnastics school available
DJ Vinyl Ritchie..........Professor in the art of cunnilingus
So who do I need to contact? I want the best gymnastics school available
DJ Vinyl Ritchie..........Professor in the art of cunnilingus
(did you see her **** in that top last night ? )
*gets coat*
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From: Maradona good; Pele better; George best
Beverley Callard is one fit GILF.... I'd eat her **** if she asked nicely
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.........why else would I suggest getting that DVD?.....obviously to discretely beat one out
DJ Vinyl Ritchie.........why else would I suggest getting that DVD?.....obviously to discretely beat one out
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