Bakerboy

Hi all,

Well, I finally got to meet ALL the family last sat night and the night started great - went out for a posh meal, had a few drinks and generally had a laugh.

Obviously I was nervous about meeting 12 people I've never met before, as naturally i'm quite a shy bloke and was a bit daunting but after a couple of drinks I was fine.

We were celebrating my gf's parents silver wedding aniversary and recently my gf moved from bristol down to bournemouth to live with me so as you can imagine she misses her parents and vice versa.
Time came for a few speaches and it was really nice to see two people still together after 25 years, then my gf stands up to try and tell them how much she misses them etc.
She got really emotional and started crying whilst trying to say how much she loves and misses them etc then her cousin wispers in my ear 'it's all your fault theyr'e upset' which I believe to be really, really bitchy especially when it's her parents night at the end of the day.

She's the kind of person who is an attention seeker, everything handed to her on a silver plate by her rich parents someone who is arrogent and spoilt IMO.

All night she was making little digs at me and my gf, either through jelousy or plain rudeness and what she said about it being my fault was enough for me so I walked out of the meal.

Now i'm faced with a situation where i've found out that she will also be there on the grandparents anneversary the weekend after next, and every major family event.
I really can't stand the thought of being in the same room with her ever again - my gf told me all about her prior to the meal as she has done this many times before but the family just seem to put up with it and excuse it as 'her sense of humour'.

Now i'm torn, what do I do? Obviously the gf isnt happy that I dont want to go to this second meal, but as I said I really can't face this bi-ach again as i'm more of your sensetive kind of guy and find it fookin hard to put on a brave face and ignore it.

Either way its going to be crap by the looks of it, gf seems so dissapointed in me not wanting to go but she fully understands why.

Anyone with experiance in relationships or just plain straight opionions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys

SJ_Skyline

Don't get mad, get even. In your shoes I would give back as good as I got, telling stuck-up-cow that when I wanted her opinion I would tell her what it was.

fitzscoob

Deal with it mate, if her cousin is a total fruit as you have explained it, then for your girlfriends sake you should put up with it.

After all, she moved to be with you, putting up with a nutter from her family should be a doddle compared.

Dont let what she says get to you, or better yet, dig up some dirt on her and blackmail the pain in the ***.

GC8Lee

The cousin got exactly the response she was looking for by the sounds of it.

Go to the next meal, head held high, ignore what the cousin says to you and your gf, observe the cousins behaviour and try and find a way of bringing her down a peg or 2 with a comment that can rip her apart.

I find that normally works with girls and folk in general like that....they can dish it, but my god can they not take it.

DO NOT LET HER WIN!

Moley

iTrader: (9)

Go to the meal but with a few one liners prepared to put her in her place

MJW

Spike her drink - LSD, laxatives, rohypnol - any or all of these will provide both vengeance, and a certain amount of entertainment

Bakerboy

Hehe i'm liking these answers, I just need to find the confidance to do it - i'm quite shy and sensetive compared to most guys.

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

You sound a right drama queen. I'd just ignore her. All that matters is you and your gf. Obviously her parents thoughts should be considered.

GC8Lee

You are on a win win situation,your girl will love you for going to the meal and she knows what the cousin is like so she will not mind what you say to the cousin for sure.

Puff The Magic Wagon!

iTrader: (2)

Perhaps she's one of these women who get off on being verbally abused back - vocal foreplay

Play your cards right and you might get a...

myblackwrx

iTrader: (1)

How do you feel about being sarcastic to her?
Nothing like a bit of sarcasm to make people look stupid.

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

slip her a digit or two under the table?

astraboy

All! all of them ftw!
After that a camera phone with video facilities and youtube are your friends
astraboy

Bakerboy

It's not something at the top of my list to do; i've had enough crap in my life I believe it's too short to be stuck in a room with someone you really dislike going down to their level -I just wish she could be civil in the first place I just need to be more confidant to give as good as I get.

I'm not a drama queen, i'm just more sensetive than most guys - and my gf likes that.

DCI Gene Hunt

You're a MAN so suck it up and start acting like one Bakerman (not Bakerboy)

So her sister is sarcastic to you?? so what, you're there for your girlfriend, not yourself or her family.... just HER, so do what makes her the happiest...... ignore her twisted bitch of a sister and enjoy yourself! if not she'll start to think you're a miserable git and dump you

DCI (lovedoctor)

Nido

Just laugh in her face and get on with enjoying the evening ffs!

RUDDY

how many times do you want to tell us your sensetive?
your girlfreind might like it sometimes but dosnt she want you to have som bollocks?
just jokingly flip what ever she says to you, on her
eg.
"i hate you baker boy its your fault shes upset!"
you say
"shut up ugly little sister your the reason she moved away"
get stuck in! you dont have to shout!

EddScott

Have to say you shouldn't have walked out of the meal. You were warned the girl would probably have something to say.

Every family has them and its up to you to make sure they don't work you out - if this girl knows shes winding you up she will get worse.

If you really can't let it go fix it so as many family members are in earshot of her lastest jibe and reply quite calmy "Will you please push off!

No swearing, don't shout. If the family are aware of her, they'll understand. If she chooses to take you on simply reply "I'm not interested in your caustic opinions"

She'll either back down or most likely kick off because you haven't provided the desired effect and she'll look a burk in front of the family.

Don't kick off, don't walk out (it looks like you are the stroppy one) and if you do end up saying something, say it calmly, without swearing and make sure others have heard what she said to start it. Stand up to her now or she'll have you by the *****. Be reasonable and if the family are themselves reasonable they can't really say anything.

Bakerboy

Good advice guys, thanks alot - more opinions please...

myblackwrx

iTrader: (1)

Well if she can't be civil completely ignore her it sounds like she will always be rude to people so let her get on with it.
If it's only for a few family gatherings (although xmas may be bad) try to put up with it.

Bakerboy

How will xmas be worse mate?

DCI Gene Hunt

No offence Bakerboy, but you sound very 'sensitive' and 'emotional' to me.... and on second thoughts I wouldn't like the thought of you seeing my sister either

fitzscoob

generally christmas is a time where you have to see family members you normally avoid like the plague.

it really isnt worth getting annoyed about, life is full of tossers, you have to be able to sit in a room with her without getting upset.

when you say your sensitive, do you mean like, Graham Norton sensitive?

LG John

Bang out of order what she said!! Cow!!! Find out where she goes out for drinks, etc and get a few mates that she doesn't know to work on pulling her. Tell them to put in a few week stints of horsing her and film some of their exploits. If you can get pics of man-muck on the face, all the better.

When she starts her sh*t pull out your mobile and show her what you're about to send to the whole family if she doesn't STFU

Bakerboy

There's a very good reason why I am sensetive and emotional and I am not as bad as you may think, I mainly don't have the time of day for rude people and am seeking advice on the best way to approach it.

myblackwrx

iTrader: (1)

Thats what i meant as missing a family meeting you could make an excuse but with Xmas it's all about family so trying to avoid her is going to be hard.

I think EddScotts' advice was best.

Abdabz

Tell the mardy heffer that she is the reason your split wont return to Bournemouth...
Oh, and ask her how she got on at crufts...

Markus

I would not sacrifice going to a family meal just because of one annoying realtive. They are the problem, not you. Personally I'd have a chat with the g/f's parents and explain that you felt uncomfortable by what this cousin was saying at "their" meal. I'd ask them if her comment about it being your fault holds any water. Yes, you are potentially opening yourself up to them saying she is correct, then again, if they are truthful (and ask them to be brutally truthful) and say they don't think that at all, then you know this cousin is just some twisted spiteful bitch, as if that wasn't obvious enough.

I'm a nice guy, but I tend to give as good as I get. As others said, she probably won't like it if someone puts her in her place, as it sounds as little miss silver spoon expects everyone to do exactly what she wants when she wants. She's pushing buttons to see if you'll react, probably hoping you'll cause a scene and then she can get off on it.

I'd smile sweetly at the bitch when she starts mouthing off and just ignore her, hard as it might be. How often is it going to be that you'll actually have to put up with her?

stilover

If she come over to wisper some bitchy comment in your ear. Shout loudly (so everyone hears)

" LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU. I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND "

£10 say's that that's the last event you see her at

SJ_Skyline

Tell her that shee looks like she's put on weight since you last saw her. And then watch the effect that has