How do i stop birds crapping on my newly painted fence?!
01 May 2007, 10:10 AM
#1
\m/ ^_^ \m/
Thread Starter
How do i stop birds crapping on my newly painted fence?!
Serious question 
the little ****s have completely wrecked it within a week of painting it, there's only so long i can keep painting over it 
the little ****s have completely wrecked it within a week of painting it, there's only so long i can keep painting over it
Stop painting it
01 May 2007, 10:31 AM
#6
move to a flat in london - no trees, no garden, no fence, no birds
other than that, take a poo sample down to homebase where theyll be able to colour match it and paint the fence that colour
other than that, take a poo sample down to homebase where theyll be able to colour match it and paint the fence that colour
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01 May 2007, 10:33 AM
#8
\m/ ^_^ \m/
Thread Starter
I hate cats even more gun had crossed my mind, but i don't fancy my fence looking like swiss cheese
gun had crossed my mind, but i don't fancy my fence looking like swiss cheese
01 May 2007, 10:55 AM
#19
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Well I think i'm right in saying that a flamingo is a bird and I think i'm right in saying they can stand on one leg. I was therefore mearly trying to prove you wrong
Not sure Paul Mc Cartneys ex would stand on your fence crapping either, but stranger things have happened at sea
Not sure Paul Mc Cartneys ex would stand on your fence crapping either, but stranger things have happened at sea
01 May 2007, 10:57 AM
#20
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Oh and calling them birds will not help either, try using totty or biatches when referring to them.
Get a cat?
01 May 2007, 10:58 AM
#21
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Have your family on a "Dance Like Kate Bush" rota in your garden... So 24/7 at least one of you is wailing and dancing like Kate Bush, thus scaring off the birds...
01 May 2007, 11:21 AM
#23
Well I think i'm right in saying that a flamingo is a bird and I think i'm right in saying they can stand on one leg. I was therefore mearly trying to prove you wrong
Not sure Paul Mc Cartneys ex would stand on your fence crapping either, but stranger things have happened at sea
Not sure Paul Mc Cartneys ex would stand on your fence crapping either, but stranger things have happened at sea
ok, all birds except your Garden fekking Flamingo can stand on one leg, so sharp nails on the fence then anyway.
01 May 2007, 11:27 AM
#24
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as for suggestions, take the fence down and replace it with some nice, evergreen shrubs
01 May 2007, 11:30 AM
#26
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But then after years of growing a fine hedge, a mad neighbour will cut it down because it "looked a bit dry in the middle".
Kev, just invest in several thousand cocktail umbrellas - you've probably got loads of them anyway, considering the style of car you choose to drive, and glue them all along the top of the fence.
Kev, just invest in several thousand cocktail umbrellas - you've probably got loads of them anyway, considering the style of car you choose to drive, and glue them all along the top of the fence.
01 May 2007, 11:33 AM
#27
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01 May 2007, 12:06 PM
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