I need some new buzzwords....
08 February 2007, 08:19 PM
#1
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I need some new buzzwords....
I was reading that buzzwords are a changin', out go the old 'uns like "You gotta think outsida the box" and "Bluesky thinking" WTF. I need some new ones to use in high powered meetings.
I got one.......
You need to give that idea a thinkgrenade [not sure what it means but I use it anyway
]
Fire away
I got one.......
You need to give that idea a thinkgrenade [not sure what it means but I use it anyway
]Fire away
08 February 2007, 08:34 PM
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Instead of a "high level" view try a "helicoptor viewpoint"
Instead of a "brainstorming" meeting have a "scrum" meeting
Anything you can't cope with now say you'll "Forward Manage"
Things aren't "challenges" anymore they're "opportunities"
"A thinkgrenade" when it goes off new concepts fly about all over the place
Instead of a "brainstorming" meeting have a "scrum" meeting
Anything you can't cope with now say you'll "Forward Manage"
Things aren't "challenges" anymore they're "opportunities"
"A thinkgrenade" when it goes off new concepts fly about all over the place
08 February 2007, 08:48 PM
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Basically you wanna talk like ***** rather than actually do anything meaningful and productive in the office.
How's that for an idea to throw in your think wok. It's just an idea I put in the mind toaster to see what popped up.
How's that for an idea to throw in your think wok. It's just an idea I put in the mind toaster to see what popped up.
did'nt say i actually talked like that mate 
08 February 2007, 08:57 PM
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I dont think you guys are fully understanding the gravity of the situation. This buzz word thing is serious business.
Now, come on, get the heads down now fairly lively and knock some ideas out.
Now, come on, get the heads down now fairly lively and knock some ideas out.
08 February 2007, 09:10 PM
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...........not that I really talk like that but it's good for the craik
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09 February 2007, 10:48 AM
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I was reading that buzzwords are a changin', out go the old 'uns like "You gotta think outsida the box" and "Bluesky thinking" WTF. I need some new ones to use in high powered meetings.
I got one.......
You need to give that idea a thinkgrenade [not sure what it means but I use it anyway]
Fire away
I got one.......
You need to give that idea a thinkgrenade [not sure what it means but I use it anyway
]Fire away
Lets Sunset that - what happens to bad ideas (they never see the light of day again
) Little 'r' me - its a request for a private answer to an email (r = reply)
Open up your Kimono - new phrase for put your cards on the table.
09 February 2007, 11:02 AM
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I wonder what the purpose of it all is anyway. Who is trying to impress all the others?
Why not just speak English so that everyone can understand, or is that not the idea after all?
Les
Why not just speak English so that everyone can understand, or is that not the idea after all?
Les
09 February 2007, 11:16 AM
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When talking about something call it call it a "peice"
Running out of time? "I'm rapidly running out of runway on this one"
Going to a bad meeting? Say "I'm off to shoot the puppy"
Need to sort something out? say " I'm off to give them an enema"
BMWs: Bitchers, Moaners and Whiners.
clockroaches: Employees who spend most of their day watching the clock - instead of doing their jobs
plutoed: To be unceremoniously dumped or relegated to a lower position without an adequate reason or explanation.
carbon-based error: Error caused by a human, not a computer (which we assume would be a silicon-based error).
menoporsche: Male menopause. Symptoms include a sudden lack of energy, crankiness and the overpowering urge to buy a Porsche.
deja poo: The feeling that you've stepped in this bull before.
bobbleheading: The mass nod of agreement by participants in a meeting to comments made by the boss even though most have no idea what he/she just said.
leveraging our assets: The ultimate DUH in business. Every company attempts to leverage its assets. It only makes sense that companies put their resources, whether it's money, location or talent, to best use in order to make a profit?
conversate: To have a conversation. Created by those who (for some bizarre reason) don't think "converse" or "talk" are adequate.
information touchpoint: Any contact in which information is shared or transferred. Yes, meetings are information touchpoints.
synopsize: To condense the details of a boring, two-hour meeting into a briefer - yet still as boring - version.
price-optimized: Something sold as cheap as possible, particularly a stripped-down version of a previously successful, but expensive product. However, the price-optimized version is likely to have more flash and less substance.
targeted completion date: A comforting term that gives the impression a project will be finished by a certain date (but everyone involved knows there's no chance in hell of it happening).
Running out of time? "I'm rapidly running out of runway on this one"
Going to a bad meeting? Say "I'm off to shoot the puppy"
Need to sort something out? say " I'm off to give them an enema"
BMWs: Bitchers, Moaners and Whiners.
clockroaches: Employees who spend most of their day watching the clock - instead of doing their jobs
plutoed: To be unceremoniously dumped or relegated to a lower position without an adequate reason or explanation.
carbon-based error: Error caused by a human, not a computer (which we assume would be a silicon-based error).
menoporsche: Male menopause. Symptoms include a sudden lack of energy, crankiness and the overpowering urge to buy a Porsche.
deja poo: The feeling that you've stepped in this bull before.
bobbleheading: The mass nod of agreement by participants in a meeting to comments made by the boss even though most have no idea what he/she just said.
leveraging our assets: The ultimate DUH in business. Every company attempts to leverage its assets. It only makes sense that companies put their resources, whether it's money, location or talent, to best use in order to make a profit?
conversate: To have a conversation. Created by those who (for some bizarre reason) don't think "converse" or "talk" are adequate.
information touchpoint: Any contact in which information is shared or transferred. Yes, meetings are information touchpoints.
synopsize: To condense the details of a boring, two-hour meeting into a briefer - yet still as boring - version.
price-optimized: Something sold as cheap as possible, particularly a stripped-down version of a previously successful, but expensive product. However, the price-optimized version is likely to have more flash and less substance.
targeted completion date: A comforting term that gives the impression a project will be finished by a certain date (but everyone involved knows there's no chance in hell of it happening).
09 February 2007, 06:32 PM
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One I heard 6 different people say this week in 6 different situations...
"What are you plugged in to at the moment?"
Used to be "what's on your radar" but I'm guessing some boardroom **** used it lastt week and it's filtering down.
"What are you plugged in to at the moment?"
Used to be "what's on your radar" but I'm guessing some boardroom **** used it lastt week and it's filtering down.
09 February 2007, 07:04 PM
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Let's interpret these for what they really mean (unless you're a clueless manager 
)
Let's look from upon high but not have clue what's really going on on the ground.
Let's all have a group hug and grab each other by the *****.
Do crap and we'll get Rooney or Crouch in.
Let's create lots of mess.
)Let's look from upon high but not have clue what's really going on on the ground.
Let's all have a group hug and grab each other by the *****.
Do crap and we'll get Rooney or Crouch in.
09 February 2007, 08:20 PM
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Spotted these which seems like a good choice in this "no blame culture" -
BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT:
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CUBE FARM:
An office filled with cubicles.
MOUSE POTATO:
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
PRAIRIE *******:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SWIPED OUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS:
People who take training classes just to get a break from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
CHIPS & SALSA:
Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Try not to dent the case.)
CLM: (Career Limiting Move)
Used among middle management to describe ill-advised activity. Taking the **** out of your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE:
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
DILBERTED:
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not Found' meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404."
Rooo
BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT:
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CUBE FARM:
An office filled with cubicles.
MOUSE POTATO:
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
PRAIRIE *******:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SWIPED OUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS:
People who take training classes just to get a break from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
CHIPS & SALSA:
Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Try not to dent the case.)
CLM: (Career Limiting Move)
Used among middle management to describe ill-advised activity. Taking the **** out of your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE:
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
DILBERTED:
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not Found' meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404."
Rooo
10 February 2007, 01:05 AM
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Ha ha someone in my company talking about a piece of software that we wrote said
"we have to keep the code well commented incase the client wants to have a peek under the hood"
he is not even American and there was not a hint of comedy in his sentence. I however nearly had to leave the room because of my violent shaking with laughter. I don't think i am geeky enough to be a programmer anymore!!
Andy
"we have to keep the code well commented incase the client wants to have a peek under the hood"
he is not even American and there was not a hint of comedy in his sentence. I however nearly had to leave the room because of my violent shaking with laughter. I don't think i am geeky enough to be a programmer anymore!!
Andy