Ember

My ex has finally got the message and left.

However she has walked out of my place with my lovely 32" Samsung HD-TV while I was at work.

The silly bint has, however, left behind her sofas as she doesn't have any room for them.

As she is refusing to return my £700 TV, I am tempted to keep hold of her £1800 worth of sofas, until she decides to return my tv.

As a leaving present for her, I am going to require some smelly fish. Can anyone recommend a fish that will really stink when it has gone off?

GC8

Any fresh fish will do the job after 48hrs...

AudiLover

Id keep the sofas

AudiLover

why did you break up?

Tam the bam

Go for lots cress seeds and one of those water spray bottles, hand the sofas over when the cress is at least one inch tall

ETA naw change the locks and keep the sofas,

Suresh

I've heard there's no point (pint) crying over spilled milk, if you get my drift

Jamie

Why ID your sofas
are they getting lost much ?

AudiLover

that was such a lame attempt of "muppeting"

Jerome

At the risk of sounding all sensible etc., if you get her with some smelly fish, she could retaliate with something worse (if that is possible). She knows where you live after all...

Just change the locks and keep the sofas.

gtijames

mackeral smells evil when its rotten but i would get yourself down to a fishing shop and buy some ultrabite bait enhancer absolutely revolting stuff comes in handy capsules so can be squirted.if you cant find ultrabite then pilchard oil or shark oil is nearly as good(or bad depending on who owns the sofa).

Ember

She reckons I don't care about her, but I'm the one who got her through the aftermath of her suicide attempt. Then her 18 month old daughter died of pneumococcal meningitis which she is blaming on me. For further information on Meningitis follow this link: Meningitis Research Foundation. She's

But back to the main subject, I've chosen myself a new sofa, so as soon as it gets delivered, I'm throwing hers outside the house and making a small incision into the covers to stuff the fish in unless she returns my tv beforehand. as they say....

Further to my discovery, I've noticed she's also stolen my Monster HDMI, Monster AV and Monster Scart cables. Slightly annoyed as she can't even use the tv without going out to buy another wall mount as I still have my wall mount and base stand.....

That job is in hand!

mart360

Don't do anything to the sofa,s!!!!

Unless you want to be charged with criminal damage, or at worst get back a fubarred TV, you,d be well advised to leave them alone.


I agree tempers and feelings may be running high, ( been there done that) and reclaiming your property, may not be the best course of action.


I got all my stuff back after a nice court appearance, i also got an appolgie , and scored copious brownie points, after my irrational ex, was forced to admit in front of both solicitors that she'd sold some of my stuff!!


didn't go in her favor from then on in


Mart

wrx_yank

to answer your question..... squid.


left it in the trunk of a car overnight after fishing.... had to sell the car

Ember

Don't worry, I'm just completing the online application to the court. She asked me for a rental contract so she could scam legal-aid, and as she signed the contract to pay me rent, i'll use that as evidence. What can she do? Turn around and say it's false which would sink her with a £5k legal bill for her custody battles?

RobJenks

I personally think to vandalise the sofas would be bad Karma.
If she has lost her child like you say , then give her a break - To lose a child would have a profound effect on her .
Theres enough **** going around, don't add to it mate.

David_Wallis

prawns and a mcdonalds milkshake are supposed to be quite bad

GC8

This all sounds like ****e to me. There are a number of carefully crafted points designed to pull SN members strings.

Bubba po

We're not exactly jiggling around like the Thunderbirds operated by Joey Deacon though, are we? Perhaps the main biters aren't in today.

Tam the bam

Suresh

moses does the evening shift, I believe

paul2070

I could rent you my missus's minge if you like,that can stink like Rick Steins dustbin on a hot day

RB5SCOTT

Prawns is bar far the smelliest, tuck them up in the curtain rails, won't find them for years

ChefDude

Isn't that based on an urban myth where the wife wanted to get back at the husband and he had to sell the house (and stupidly took the curtain rails with him)?

st3v3

Just ask her for the tv in exchange for her sofa's...thats all there is to it.

GC8

The thought of puerile revenge has them so exited that theyre missing the obvious hooks. Perhaps Alan misjudged this one?

RB5SCOTT

Maybe but seafood is by far the worst. Put it somewhere where you can't find it and there you have your legend!!

Bat-Fink

I vote get over her and move on.

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

Damn SN is slipping!

I vote you post naked pictures of her on SN!

messiah

...something to do with the fish smell went he went to stick his tongue in the holiest of holy places...

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

On balance its only a telly, just keep the sofa's, I suspect that Sofa's and Telly's arent her highest priority having tried to kill herself and lost a child, dont know the full story but if she is so down she is prepared to kill herself then anything you may do involving rotting seafood may just result in you getting bits of tv sent through the post - or worse.

Just cut your losses and keep out of her way, dont tangle with any woman unless you have to, let alone a suicidal one who has lost a child.