troubled

OK,
quick introduction - I've been using scoobynet for years now on and off and respect the views of others on here, so I thought I'd ask for a bit of help/advice/feedback/whatever. This is a sensitive issue, so I have created this account for anonymity. This is a very serious post so anyone thinking of making jokes or otherwise being a **** can bugger off right now!

OK here goes:- Basically I have been with my girlfriend (girl A) for a long time (over 7 years) and quite happy. However, a couple of months ago I discovered that a friend (girl B) and I had feelings for each other. I told her that I was happy with my GF, and wouldn't leave her, yet for both of us the attraction was too strong and we have been (to put it bluntly) having an affair. When I say affair, I mean texting, emailing, meeting in carparks in the evening, talking and kissing. We both know that there's something very strong between us, and if I was single then we'd have started going out ages ago.
However, I am in a quandry because I have a good life - secure good job, lovely house, great friends and many other things. My GF loves me dearly, and it would break her heart if we split up. OK, so things with us aren't perfect, but I'm not asking for perfection in my life, I think one has to put up with the odd niggle in return for the good things. Girl B has yesterday moved to a new job hundreds of miles away before studying for a degree in september, probably overseas.

Basically WTF do I do??? Do I stick with my GF and marry her? Our relationship has gradually gone downhill over the years, however I think it is still rescuable should we wish to make it work. Or do I make the leap with girl B, bearing in mind that we've only known each other for a couple of months? What if I give up everything to be with her and it all goes ****-up after a couple of months? I'm old enough to know that life isn't just about sex, this affair hasn't been driven by lust at all, more a case of a friendship that has got out of control. The wierd thing is that I don't feel anything for my GF anymore, yet I miss girl B like crazy.
What girl B and I have decided is that we're going to stay in touch whilst she's away to see if there really is anything between us worth taking further. If we decide that we are not 'the ones' for each other then we will walk away and close the chapter in our lives. If we are 'the ones' then I guess I'll go for it. Either way, the stress has been massive and is making me ill, so I have to chose one way or the other.

OK, I think that's enough for you to go on, and I thankyou in advance for your comments. If you need more info, then just ask.

Lydia72

If you had never met Girl B would you be happy with your GF?

Norman D. Landing

Is it her sister? If so, **** her. If not, find her sister and **** her instead.

sti-04!!

Girl B is now gone. She will meet someone else in her new location.
Leave it at that.
Put more work into your relationship with Girl A .... though i think marriage is a strong commitment when you feel that it might not work.

Good Luck

sti-04!!

Have you been reading through my previous posts

I own the "CROWN", there is only one King

King Sti-04!! ........ all bow before me

sti-04!!

**** has my account been hijacked again ????

DrEvil

You've answered your own question - regardless of what happens with GF(B), you're living a lie with GF(A), so should leave her so she has a chance of true happiness elsewhere.

GC8

I have resisited giving bad advice on this thread.

davegtt

Dont marry the poor girl. Get of your **** and sort your life out. She is obviously not the one for you so dont go making her second best and living a lie. Does she know the relationship has gone down hill and if need be does she feel it needs rescuing? If it needs rescuing why has nothing been done about it? Sounds to me like youve just got bored living the same life day in day out and girl b is just spicing up a boring life atm. Offering something new etc.

So what? least you wouldnt be stringing girlfriend a along anymore and you will be happier that you presently are.

Think this comment alone should tell you what you need to know, your just scared of doing it.

*Sonic*

Show us the pics, then we will decide

Beat you Sti-04

Seriously tho, if you dont feel anything for your girlfriend anymore then why are you still with her ???

Watch the Notebook

GC8

Troubled; would you risk/lose all that you have in order to see if your infactuation could actually turn into something that exceeds what you currently have? If it doesnt youll be f*cked and constantly posting heart-rending 'it should have been; Oh, what-to-do?' threads here, after drinking too much (not dissimilar to Stephens...)!

Simon

sti-04!!

I've seen the pics

King Sti-04!! ..... all bow before me

sti-04!!

I have learned my lesson ..... i have thrown my westlife cd in the bin

Tripple'O G

No pun intended but.......

A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush......

or

The grass is always greener on the other side....

You've been with your girlfriend for 7 years, have you even cheated on her?
If not then let B go....
The problem is there are obviously bigger underlying issues with your G/F otherwise you wouldn't even consider being with anyone else.
Try to work it out at home, if you can't work it out then sell up and move away.....far away....
If you can fix things like you've said, stay, fix them and be a man!!
Relationships take work....nothing is ever easy....

Oh....can I have B's number?? just playing...

MattW

Right, come on we need to uncover the poster

Not me


ps. Davegtt hit the nail on head!!

GC8

I am currently listening to a lot of Richard hawley and am considering registering a pseudonym as we speak.....

Shaolin

Yes, if there is doubt in your head, then really you have answered your own question, your not happy with the current girlfriend so whats the point in stringing it out, its not fair on you and definately not fair on her, she has gone through all this thinking everything is hunky dory.
How would you feel if she had been ******** behind your back ? be a man and end it.

sti-04!!

Thats cheating ...... be a man & just post the thread, i for one wont ridicule you

GC8

What if youre mistaken and you have a short term infactuation? Then youve **** out havent you? What you need to do is establish how you really feel; then act decisively. Blowing out your current girlfriend as suggest by many would be a mistake that you might spend many a year (and evening on ScoobyNet) regretting.

F*ck me, Im wise.

Bateman

do you let people watch ? people with invisible dogs

GC8

You owe me a little honest sympahty after all.

KiwiGTI

Which one has the biggest ****?

*Sonic*

Hijack I know, but did you get sorted with that XP cd ?

MattW

ROFL

davegtt

Flashing the lights at other car park users I should imagine

sti-04!!

Of course

GC8

Ive been meaning to PM you, but I have managed to do it yet. I think itll be a request for help rather than a 'thankyou'...

Simon

*Sonic*

NP let me know

Lydia72

I agree.
I know of a few people who have been in similar situations, leave their long term partner and everything they have together...only to get eight weeks down the line and realise they have made a huge mistake, if they are lucky the ex takes them back...but then it is brought up in every argument after that and the relationship can never be the same again.

Break off contact with girl B for a while so you can get your head straight.

KiwiGTI

All relationships take work and the grass always seems greener. If you love your current girlfriend you should respect her and give her the dedication that she deserves by stopping all contact with "B"