A Bit Of Lighthearted Humour
11 November 2006, 01:46 PM
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A Bit Of Lighthearted Humour
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with
the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this
one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-_expression, male
bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can
achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
minutes.
AND;
He said .. . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said .. ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet
paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and Good- looking?
She said . .. They already have boyfriends.
She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband
is every night?
He said . . A widow.
He said . .. Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . .! Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU
THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with
the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this
one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-_expression, male
bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can
achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
minutes.
AND;
He said .. . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said .. ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet
paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and Good- looking?
She said . .. They already have boyfriends.
She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband
is every night?
He said . . A widow.
He said . .. Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . .! Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU
THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
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