and another one
28 October 2006, 01:05 PM
#1
and another one
ah go on then, found this little gem, old but still a good un 
Guy called Dave says to his boss..
"I know everybody in the world.."
His boss says..
"Yeah right..no way"
Dave says..
"I do, just choose someone, anyone at all and I bet I know them"
"OK then, Tom Cruise, bet ya dont know him"
Dave says. "Oh yes I do"
So they get on a plane, fly to Hollywood and make their way to Tom Cruise' house and Dave bangs on the door.
Tom Cruise opens the door and says..
"Oh wow, Dave, how you doing man, come on in for a beer, lets chat and catch up on old news"
After they come out the boss says..
"Well that was pretty cool, but maybe a bit lucky"
So Dave says..
"OK then, pick another, anyone ya want in the whole wide world, go on"
So his boss says..
"Right, I'll get ya this time..George Bush"
Off they go, board a plane for Washington DC and as they get there everyone is waiting for George Bush to come out and address the nation. Dave positions himself by the edge of the stage with his boss.
As George Bush emerges to address the nation, Dave is furiously waving.
George Bush sees him and smiles, he walks over and says ..
"Hi Dave, I just gotta do this speech and we can go get a coffee afterwards and have a little chat OK"
So they do that and when they come out the Whitehouse, the boss says..
"Wow that is really quite impressive, I am impressed, but if I can choose just one more, then it will be proved beyond doubt Dave and you will be my hero"
So Dave says..
"Yeah no worries, make another choice, I'll prove it beyond all doubt for you"
"OK then, errmmmm.. how about the Pope"
Dave says..
"The Pope, half my family are German, thats an old friend of the family ya picked there, lets go.."
Off they go to Vatican City where there are 250,000 people waiting for the Pope to come out and say prayers.
Dave tells his boss..
"Its too crowded here, I need to get close to The Pope to prove my self. I'll go over there and have a word with the guards.......because I know all of them too....and they will let me inside, and then in about 15 mins I will come out on the balcony right next to The Pope and wave to you OK boss"
Off Dave goes and sure enough 15 mins later he's on the balcony, arm round The Pope waving to his boss.
Dave decides to make his way back to his boss, and when he gets there his boss is surrounded by paramedics.
Dave scrambles through and says to him..
"Jesus boss, whats wrong are you OK"
And his boss looks up at him and says..
"I had a heart attack....I was fine, until you and The Pope walked out and the guy next to me said 'Who the **** is that on the balcony with Dave'"
Guy called Dave says to his boss..
"I know everybody in the world.."
His boss says..
"Yeah right..no way"
Dave says..
"I do, just choose someone, anyone at all and I bet I know them"
"OK then, Tom Cruise, bet ya dont know him"
Dave says. "Oh yes I do"
So they get on a plane, fly to Hollywood and make their way to Tom Cruise' house and Dave bangs on the door.
Tom Cruise opens the door and says..
"Oh wow, Dave, how you doing man, come on in for a beer, lets chat and catch up on old news"
After they come out the boss says..
"Well that was pretty cool, but maybe a bit lucky"
So Dave says..
"OK then, pick another, anyone ya want in the whole wide world, go on"
So his boss says..
"Right, I'll get ya this time..George Bush"
Off they go, board a plane for Washington DC and as they get there everyone is waiting for George Bush to come out and address the nation. Dave positions himself by the edge of the stage with his boss.
As George Bush emerges to address the nation, Dave is furiously waving.
George Bush sees him and smiles, he walks over and says ..
"Hi Dave, I just gotta do this speech and we can go get a coffee afterwards and have a little chat OK"
So they do that and when they come out the Whitehouse, the boss says..
"Wow that is really quite impressive, I am impressed, but if I can choose just one more, then it will be proved beyond doubt Dave and you will be my hero"
So Dave says..
"Yeah no worries, make another choice, I'll prove it beyond all doubt for you"
"OK then, errmmmm.. how about the Pope"
Dave says..
"The Pope, half my family are German, thats an old friend of the family ya picked there, lets go.."
Off they go to Vatican City where there are 250,000 people waiting for the Pope to come out and say prayers.
Dave tells his boss..
"Its too crowded here, I need to get close to The Pope to prove my self. I'll go over there and have a word with the guards.......because I know all of them too....and they will let me inside, and then in about 15 mins I will come out on the balcony right next to The Pope and wave to you OK boss"
Off Dave goes and sure enough 15 mins later he's on the balcony, arm round The Pope waving to his boss.
Dave decides to make his way back to his boss, and when he gets there his boss is surrounded by paramedics.
Dave scrambles through and says to him..
"Jesus boss, whats wrong are you OK"
And his boss looks up at him and says..
"I had a heart attack....I was fine, until you and The Pope walked out and the guy next to me said 'Who the **** is that on the balcony with Dave'"
canny that
