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Old 26 October 2006, 08:44 AM
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michaelro
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Default Equal Opps?

Why is it that women want Equal Opportunities and treatment only when it suits them??

Example:

I work in an office with more women than men. However when any lifting is required, it's always the men who are expected to do it.

Two auditors in our office constantly get boxes delivered and stand there why the men move them.

I've never had to lift any box which I would consider heavier than a pram or bag of shopping so why is it down to me to do it.

It's not in my contract, I'm an Analyst!!

The worst thing is that when they want help they say "Are there any muscley men around to help us...." There are some larger women in the office who no doubt are stronger than me!!

Personally I think I should get paid more - They'd certainly kick up a fuss then....!!
Old 26 October 2006, 09:01 AM
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The Chief
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I've said this for donkeys years mate.

They want sexual equality - then get lifting!


Tell you what mate - snakes with t*ts thats all they are!!!
Old 26 October 2006, 09:03 AM
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Agrred, always confused me this has, they expect modern men to help around the house etc doing what was traditionally classed as a womans job but when the car needs washing or an oil change guess whos job it is then. Whoever gave them a right to vote was wrong and its downhill since
Old 26 October 2006, 09:06 AM
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They would all be barefoot and pregnant if I led this country
Old 26 October 2006, 09:14 AM
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STi wanna Subaru
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Don't be such a nonce and lift the damn box for them.
Old 26 October 2006, 09:16 AM
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PeteBrant
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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?









Nothing - She's been told twice already.



Also.

Jim and frank caught the same train to work every morning. One day, Frank gets on the train as normal, but he is sporting a black eye. Jim, who is already on the train, lowers his papar to say hello and to Franks surprise, Jim also has a black eye.

"Well, you first Jim. WHat happened?"

"Well" Says Frank "I was at the breakfast table and I wasn't really paying attention. My wife was bend over looking into the fridge, and I meant to say 'Could you pass the Marge' instead it came out 'God your **** is large' and well, she wasn't best pleased."

"That's amazing" said Jim "Almost exactly the same thing happened to me, I was at the breakfast table, and I wasn't really paying attention. I meant to say 'COuld you pass the cornflakes please, love' but instead it came out 'You've ruined my life you fvucking bitch'
Old 26 October 2006, 09:17 AM
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Just say "oi fatty you're ****ing bigger than me, come and help shift these boxes you ugly lezzer"

You will then find out what womens rights in the workplace are all about
Old 26 October 2006, 09:17 AM
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lucylastic
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Originally Posted by michaelro
Why is it that women want Equal Opportunities and treatment only when it suits them??
Because we're women of course Whoever heard of a logical, fair-minded woman?!
Old 26 October 2006, 09:17 AM
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lightning101
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Originally Posted by lucylastic
Because we're women of course Whoever heard of a logical, fair-minded woman?!
Margaret Thatcher
Old 26 October 2006, 09:29 AM
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The Chief
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Originally Posted by lightning101
Just say "oi fatty you're ****ing bigger than me, come and help shift these boxes you ugly lezzer"

You will then find out what womens rights in the workplace are all about

Yep that ought to do it
Old 26 October 2006, 09:31 AM
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Find out if your company insurance covers you for lifting, if it doesn't - decline qouting this
Old 26 October 2006, 09:40 AM
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DCI Gene Hunt
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Women are lazy bitches.......... how can you trust anything that can fart without making a noise!
Old 26 October 2006, 09:44 AM
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
Women are lazy bitches.......... how can you trust anything that can fart without making a noise!
How can you trust something that bleeds for a week and doesnt die

Old 26 October 2006, 09:49 AM
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DIC Jean Runt
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
Women are lazy bitches.......... how can you trust anything that can fart without making a noise!

Wait 'til you get home
Old 26 October 2006, 09:50 AM
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RMA26
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Originally Posted by davegtt
How can you trust something that bleeds for a week and doesnt die

Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
Women are lazy bitches.......... how can you trust anything that can fart without making a noise!
Can of worms guys.........
Old 26 October 2006, 09:53 AM
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DCI Gene Hunt
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Originally Posted by DIC Jean Runt
Wait 'til you get home
......... the plot thickens!
Old 26 October 2006, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
......... the plot thickens!
You'll be having a thick head when I get hold of you
Old 26 October 2006, 09:59 AM
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
......... the plot thickens!
You have a stalker
Old 26 October 2006, 10:03 AM
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Originally Posted by RMA26
You have a stalker
Another one!...... it would seem that I am 'good sport' in the world of mentalist stalkers.......
Old 26 October 2006, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
Another one!...... it would seem that I am 'good sport' in the world of mentalist stalkers.......

Now listen very carefully, I shall only say zis once

What time will you be home Pete?

Last edited by DIC Jean Runt; 26 October 2006 at 10:11 AM.
Old 26 October 2006, 10:08 AM
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lozgti
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I think women prefer men to be men.The ones that talk about EO's is blurring some men's views of what they are.Hence more men going to stylists instead of the barber and Mini sales have soared.All because of a box.

Pick the box up and throw it as far across the room as you can.Be a man.

Ask her to analyse that
Old 26 October 2006, 10:11 AM
  #23  
DCI Gene Hunt
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Originally Posted by lozgti
I think women prefer men to be men.The ones that talk about EO's is blurring some men's views of what they are.Hence more men going to stylists instead of the barber and Mini sales have soared.All because of a box.

Pick the box up and throw it as far across the room as you can.Be a man.

Ask her to analyse that
A firm slap across her ****, a wink and smirk will also probably be appreciated..........
Old 26 October 2006, 10:33 AM
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Gene, get you coat son, you've pulled!
Old 26 October 2006, 11:17 AM
  #25  
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There used to be a test for entry into the Royal Engineers which was lifting a heavy ammo box onto the back of an army lorry. They had to abandon this test because virtually no women could lift it (men who couldn't do it were also rightly denied entry to the Corps).

Even now, women in the army get all sorts of accommodations for any physical tests. They can do press ups with their knees on the ground, don't have to run as far and get longer to run this shorter distance (used to be best attempt rather than actually achieve the time - might have changed now).

All this might be great for equality, but when the **** starts flying (as it frequently does in Iraq/Afghanistan), anyone too slow/weak/feeble to carry out the necessary tasks is a (potentially fatal) liability to themselves and others.

Women in the army also get the same rate of pay as men.

Furthermore, tell a rude joke in front of a female soldier, and you stand a very real chance of being kicked out, or at the very least disciplined (with severe repercussions to whats left of your career). If you didn't want to hear robust language, don't join the fecking army you daft bint! The phrase "swears like a trooper" exists for good reason.
Old 26 October 2006, 12:04 PM
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N1gel 1970
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
Women are lazy bitches.......... how can you trust anything that can fart without making a noise!
YouTube - Nino Terzo parte seconda...
Old 26 October 2006, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by N1gel 1970
I just might wait till I'm at home before opening that link...
Old 26 October 2006, 12:10 PM
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WTF

Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
I just might wait till I'm at home before opening that link...
I wouldnt bother full stop.
Old 26 October 2006, 01:42 PM
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my wife wont go the bar when shes out with me but is the at the front of the queue when shes out with her mates...whats that all about?
Old 26 October 2006, 01:44 PM
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lightning101
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Originally Posted by powerman1
my wife wont go the bar when shes out with me but is the at the front of the queue when shes out with her mates...whats that all about?
She's not on the pull when she's out with you


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