Monday joke
09 October 2006, 12:28 PM
#1
Monday joke
DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to
go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under
the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldogSpike. He won't bother you. But,
whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I
REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he
discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just
as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman
go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant
yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain
himself any longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "OK Spike, Get him!"
Alcazar
09 October 2006, 12:32 PM
#3
R.I.P.
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 7,036
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A Polish man moved to the USA and married and American girl.
His English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of Concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger? No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me.
What makes you think that? I got proof.
What kind of proof? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at Drugstore
and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"
09 October 2006, 12:35 PM
#4
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 4,778
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Tam the bam
A Polish man moved to the USA and married and American girl.
His English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of Concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger? No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me.
What makes you think that? I got proof.
What kind of proof? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at Drugstore
and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
acemodder
ScoobyNet General
50
01 October 2015 07:01 PM
oilman
Trader Announcements
15
01 October 2015 11:55 AM