mad_dr

...would you hold them back a year from starting school?

A friend of mine has a son who will be starting school in a couple of years so she's trying to do her research in advance...

Her son was born on 31st August so will be just about as young as he could be in his academic year. If he had been born 12 hours later he'd be in the next academic year (and the eldest in THAT year)!

She's concerned about how he will settle in when potentially others around him could be quite a bit older than him and therefore more mentally developed etc. I am of the opinion that she would possibly do more harm by keeping him excluded from other children for the first year than any potential struggle he might or might not have by being the youngest. I believe that his exact age will be largely irrelevant and that as long as he is bright.

As far as she knows, she has the ability to keep him back a year but obviously wants to do what's best for her child. I have advised her to speak to the Local Education Authority and other mothers at the nursery her son goes to but any opinions from other parents who have been in this position would I'm sure be very much appreciated. She and I believe that if anything, being around slightly older children will help him develop as he will exposed to slightly maturer thinking and attitudes. Besides - on the flip-side, I don't think that 4 OR 5 year olds really care about how old they or their friends, are!

Also - if anyone knows of any decent forums (sorry - I don't use the word fora!) that parents can use to learn about others' experiences, she'd be grateful.

Many thanks!

davegtt

My Sister was born on the 6th of September, she was held back so she was one of the oldest possible in that year... Didnt do her any help though, shes still thick as pig poo

jaytc2003

iTrader: (1)

my birthday is the 10th of aug and i was the 2nd youngest in my year. I suffered no problems and I am a lot cleverer than some of the dropouts who were in my year. In fact the older ones (birthdays sept/oct) a lot of them turned to drugs (speed, weed etc) and I do know of a few of them now who ended up on the harder stuff.
As long as the child is mentally stimulated before school age there will be no problems

jaytc2003

iTrader: (1)

wouldnt your sister be one of the oldest? school year is from sept to sept so she would be one of the oldest, and if she was held back a year she would be even older!!

The Snug Rhino

2 of mine are late august......both fine, no thought of holding them back at all.

davegtt

yeahhhhh I know realised when I read it back, edited before your post actually...

You know what I mean anyway

wilb

I'm a teacher (11-18 year olds). It's obvious who the older students are even within the same class room. They tend to be more physically and mentally developed than the younger students. This is most noticeable through Key Stage 2/3. Also it's the younger ones who tend to get picked on more and who also struggle with their work. I have considered arranging the students in age order as I feel this would assist in my teaching. I personally think being the oldest in the year would be an advantage, and we have already said we will plan for this when having our children.
From the child's side imagine how annoying it would be when all your mates are allowed to go out and get drunk but you're not? Or when you go to the Theme Park but you're not tall enough to go on the ride but they are. They would probably love to be the eldest in the year! I think they would appreciate it in the long term.
It's quite an important thing to think about, choosing their year group changes how their life unfolds, who they meet, etc. I'd rather hold them back as I can see more advantages of it, plus it's easier to do it and see the consequences (of which I think there will be less) than be thinking 'I wish i would have kept them back' when it's too late.

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

My birthday is on the 23rd August and I was also the 2nd youngest in my year (4th youngest at the Uni I went to) Without wishing to sound arrogant I was one of the top students in the year (nope, blew it... that sounds cocky) but my maturity level was certainly not influenced by the people around me.

In hindsight I'm glad I wasn't a year lower as I got to 'do' things a year sooner (you know when your peer group start going down the pub and the like).

I think it all comes down to the temperament of the child involved - I was one of the shortest in my year until the teenage growth spurt occured and yes I was picked on for that (and being a swot) but I was certainly no worse off for it.

davegtt

wilb, I wouldnt have thought it'd make that much difference when we're talking about the kids being tall enough for rollercoaster rides and going out getting drunk, lets face it most kids do that at 15 anyway on the street. Height wont have that much difference between the age of 6-8 months either IMO.

MattW

Born in August also, never a problem for me, but I can only remember Juniors/Scondary.

My eldest was born in May so only did half days up to Xmas when she started school, didn't seem a problem either but then she has had nursery education since she was 12 months.

As for imagining how annoying it would be when all your mates are allowed to go out and get drunk but you're not, well we were all out from the age of 15/16 anyhow so it didn't matter. However, driving was a bitch. A good mate had his birtday in Sept and had passed his test 9 months before I was 17, I was green as ****!

wilb

Dave, that was just from personal experience, I used to get quite peed off when all my mates were out drinking with ID but I couldn't go with them, or when they were learning to drive but I couldn't, or when they were off to see certain films but I couldn't go (they used to be quite strict at our local). I can just see more advantages of being older in the year than younger to be honest.

Steve vRS

I was born on August 21st and it didn't do me any harm! Again, without sounding cocky, I was a lot cleverer than most of the other kids in the class but that was due to the way I was brought up than any age issues.

I was crap at sport though

Steve

jaytc2003

iTrader: (1)

what utter tripe. Physical and mental ability/development has got nothing to do with when you are born. I am 6ft 2 and am/was a lot taller than my older classmates. In fact at school there was a girl whos birthday was in june (i remember this as it was the same date as my sister and she was far cleverer and taller (at one stage) than anyone else in the year. Last I heard of her she was studying medicine in Edinburgh.

Also fwiw at primary school, I actually got moved up to a class a year above me (there was some older people from my year as well who got moved up at the same time)

It is simply down to the childs upbringing on how well they will cope

jaytc2003

iTrader: (1)

oh yeah the one downside is driving lessons

Stephb1986

my birthday is august 30th and i wasnt kept back im still alot cleverer than most of the people in my year i have a full time job my own car and half of my own business when i look at my mates one is a cleaner the other signs on and has just found out she's pregnant. I didnt feel i struggled being with the work being the youngest. if the kid is bright maybe he might struggle with it as people expect more where as if he isnt so bright and is put with the older kids he might make more of a achievement

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

My youngest is an August 26th birthday. He has consistently been one of the brightest, (although not the most hard-working ) kids in his class, well-liked by his peers and his teachers, so no problems there.

The only prob he has with it is that he can't even begin driving lessons until this august, while most of his mates, and even his girlfriend of 18 months are now driving and most have their own cars.

A friend who teaches reports that the brightest most mature kids he's ever taught have ALL been late august birthdays.........strange, but true.

Alcazar

mad_dr

Thanks for all the replies so far peeps - please keep them coming! It's interesting to see the spread of experience and that no-one seems to have suffered terribly for being young for their 'year'.

Neanderthal

iTrader: (6)

My birthdays on the 28th August, was the 2nd youngest in my year.
Never had a problem with it. Was neither the brightest or the dumbest
Drinking was never a problem, if I had trouble I'd just get one of the ones with ID to buy the drink
Things are prolly a bit stricter now though.
I never thought I was disadvantaged by being one of the youngest.

bartus

One of the replies above mentions the child doing part-time - this may be a good option. I think that a child is allowed to go part-time (parents discretion) up until the beginning of the term that they have their 5th birthday (so in this case up until start of summer term 07).

Gets the kid involved/make friends but breaks them in more gently, maybe just mornings up until Christmas for instance.

Just something else to worry about (sorry, think about!).

(PS My 4 and 1/2 yr old starts school in Sept).

Nimbus

My daughter was born on Aug 19th 2001 and is the youngest in her class and also the youngest that the school as ever had. She is in Reception at school at the moment. There are 8 other reception children who, because it's a village school, are in the same class as the Year 1s. From my perspective, it's not had any detrimental effect (at least, that I can see ) on her lerning or behaviour. She's just had a very good report back from school and the teachers say she is progressing well and has freinds from both her own class and those above (Y1, Y2).

We did have thoughts about holding her back for a term at the beginning, but then she would have been starting in a class that already knew each other and had worked on subjects before, so probably not the best situation.

I guess it's down to the individual child, but from our experiance it's not been a problem. Whatever time they go, it is so hard to see them going to school for the first time and noticing how small they look to the other children.

hail-hail

I was quite young for my year, Dec 27th, but the scottish year runs from Feb->Feb.
I didn't really notice any issue with me being younger, and I was in the top couple of % for my year, brains wise.
Driving lessons were a pain but, then again you get to see your mates wrapping their cars round lampost 10 mins after their 17th birthday, and it gives you a little more perspective when it comes round to your own first car.
Big advantage was that my now wife was in the same year as me, and she is 9 months older heheheheheh, that's 9 months of every year I get to rib her about being a crinkly old moo

scoob_babe

Birthday 31st July. Never had any problems with school work development, I was one of a group of us (who all had July / August birthdays) who were consistently top of the year across all subjects so I don't think it counts. I did start school in the January term as opposed to the September though.

Incidentally, most of the lower streams had those who had September / October birthdays

ScoobyDoo555

Doesn't make any difference really. Would leave it as being the youngest in the year.....

Dan

Longjing

Being young for year is traditionally considered an advantage I thought, by people who worry about these things. It's a head start... might be difficult to begin with (although I don't recall feeling that, as an August baby) but when you come to apply for uni, jobs etc youth is usually a plus.

I don't think being one of the youngest is a good reason on its own to hold a child back a year personally, but if they think the child will struggle generally with school, maybe it would.

The reasons ought to be related to the particular child imo - maybe if he's small for his age and nervous or something. Although I still wouldn't fancy it myself.

Swen6

Why?, when you're 17, you're 17, no one can change that. You get your provisional, and learn.
P/T job to pay and lessons when your off, put the time in, you get the reward.

Longjing

I guess the point was that people in the same year at school will get there first.

But so what? That just means it's easier to get lifts.

brumdaisy

I seem to recall a lot of chat about how old we all were at school - we all knew who was the oldest and who was the youngest so the first thought that occurs to me is that other kids would suss that he had been held back a year and come to their own (purile) conclusions.

Sometimes the younger ones are the smallest, slower to develop etc but not always. I was the eldest in the year, my best friend was the youngest (we became 'best friends' on this very important principle). You would never be able to tell that I was nearly a year older her..... but then people do keep telling me to grow up

Personally I think there are far more important issues to consider like teaching standards and discipline....

DaveD

iTrader: (2)

Well, my birthday is 31st August, and so obviously I was always the youngest in my year. I never felt it to be a disadvantage.

On your first day at school you make new friends and I and then it doesn't really matter how old you are. In fact, at primary school I always felt that it was a slight advantage and reduced pressure in sports or in tests - there was always the excuse of, "Well, I am the youngest!"

The young child's brain is open to learning, and I guess it could even be an advantage to start learning earlier.
My two brothers were born on 6th September and 28th October.....I was the only one to go to university.

nicko13uk

I was the youngest by far - infact i had people over a year older than me.
Birthday is September 13th... Missed the deadline by a good couple of weeks.
I was the only boy in my year at primary school, and apparently had a brain in my head, so i was pushed up early.
It was annoying when everyone else was driving in the sixth form, but i don't think it caused me any problems academically or socially.

Nick