Kids jumping on the bed being a hero days are over!
31 March 2006, 10:27 PM
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Kids jumping on the bed being a hero days are over!
As per Tiggs thread I've just finished watching the Transporter 2 and have never seen such unbelievable drivel in my life. It got me thinking about a number of films I've seen in recent years that have been similar with XXX and I'd guess XXX 2 (which I've not seen) being the worst.
When I was a lad you'd watch a film and see all manner of impressive stunts. As a child of the late 70s I grew up to James Bond performing the famous spiral car stunt in 'The Man with The Golden Gun'. I watch Brue Lee and Mr Miyagi beat up a handful of guys at a time. I'd go and play with my toy cars in my bedroom and recreate the stunts I'd seen on bond. I'd then beat sh*t out of my brother and hope one day I'd be able to kick and punch and move like Lee and Miyagi. The key thing is there was actually a chance that one day I could!!!!
Now pretty much every stunt you see in any modern film is impossible for reasons of physics or because human bodies just can't do that. It's just so unbelieably unrealistic I wonder if kids even bother trying to go through to their room and recreate it. Now they don't have to do a double back flip and catch the bad guy in the chin on the second rotation. Oh no!!! They have to jump and flip 50 feet in the air, deploy 2 clips from an glock using, often 1 bullet for two kills, accurately throw 3 knives into people's heads and then land on two feet all the time having avoided lots of bullets and flames. They then get ran over by a car doing 80mph, grimace for a moment and then continue fighting!! WTF
As far as I'm concerned the Matrix started it but the film was soooooooooo well received because the superhuman feats were explained and integral to the plot of the film. Since then every action film has figured that the main guy has to be like Neo and now we have every action hero being stronger, faster, more accurate and better than god. Surely kids don't have anything to look up to these days and there is no hope of EVER being like their hero.
Why are we being fed this bullsh*t! When will the madness and absolutely fictional stunts end. Sure, the stuff in 1970s-80s bond was implausable but at least they were actually done!!! It may have taken 50 attempts but eventally a real person achieved the feat. Most modern stunts will NEVER be achieved by a human being and any attempt to do them would usually result in death!!
In closing my rant a few examples that particularly upset me:
Transporter 2: When he flips and rolls the car at the same time clipping the bomb attached to the underside off the car on a hook hanging from a crane!
Transporter 2: When the good and bad guy survive a plane crash into the sea at a 45 degree down angle dive at full speed and aren't dazed at all - so much so that they continue to fight as it sinks
James Bond: When he uses the paracute and the top of his ice speeder to 'surf' tsunami waves!!!
2 Fast 2 Furious: When he jumps over the raising bridge AND his opponents car and lands it with hardly any damage!
XXX: When he does an absolutely MASSIVE jump on a bike and managed to tilt himself and the bike sideways to make it through a slit in a barb wire fence about 80 feet off the ground..........and lands it!!!
All action Films: Where the good guy beats up 30+ bad guys all of whom are armed in some way.
In fact the most impressive action film I've seen in the last year is Ong-Bak where the lead character did all his stunts with no wires or assistance. Sure, he beat on a few guys at a time but he was also very skilled and it was believable and MUCH, MUCH more impressive for it.
When I was a lad you'd watch a film and see all manner of impressive stunts. As a child of the late 70s I grew up to James Bond performing the famous spiral car stunt in 'The Man with The Golden Gun'. I watch Brue Lee and Mr Miyagi beat up a handful of guys at a time. I'd go and play with my toy cars in my bedroom and recreate the stunts I'd seen on bond. I'd then beat sh*t out of my brother and hope one day I'd be able to kick and punch and move like Lee and Miyagi. The key thing is there was actually a chance that one day I could!!!!
Now pretty much every stunt you see in any modern film is impossible for reasons of physics or because human bodies just can't do that. It's just so unbelieably unrealistic I wonder if kids even bother trying to go through to their room and recreate it. Now they don't have to do a double back flip and catch the bad guy in the chin on the second rotation. Oh no!!! They have to jump and flip 50 feet in the air, deploy 2 clips from an glock using, often 1 bullet for two kills, accurately throw 3 knives into people's heads and then land on two feet all the time having avoided lots of bullets and flames. They then get ran over by a car doing 80mph, grimace for a moment and then continue fighting!! WTF
As far as I'm concerned the Matrix started it but the film was soooooooooo well received because the superhuman feats were explained and integral to the plot of the film. Since then every action film has figured that the main guy has to be like Neo and now we have every action hero being stronger, faster, more accurate and better than god. Surely kids don't have anything to look up to these days and there is no hope of EVER being like their hero.
Why are we being fed this bullsh*t! When will the madness and absolutely fictional stunts end. Sure, the stuff in 1970s-80s bond was implausable but at least they were actually done!!! It may have taken 50 attempts but eventally a real person achieved the feat. Most modern stunts will NEVER be achieved by a human being and any attempt to do them would usually result in death!!
In closing my rant a few examples that particularly upset me:
Transporter 2: When he flips and rolls the car at the same time clipping the bomb attached to the underside off the car on a hook hanging from a crane!
Transporter 2: When the good and bad guy survive a plane crash into the sea at a 45 degree down angle dive at full speed and aren't dazed at all - so much so that they continue to fight as it sinks
James Bond: When he uses the paracute and the top of his ice speeder to 'surf' tsunami waves!!!
2 Fast 2 Furious: When he jumps over the raising bridge AND his opponents car and lands it with hardly any damage!
XXX: When he does an absolutely MASSIVE jump on a bike and managed to tilt himself and the bike sideways to make it through a slit in a barb wire fence about 80 feet off the ground..........and lands it!!!
All action Films: Where the good guy beats up 30+ bad guys all of whom are armed in some way.
In fact the most impressive action film I've seen in the last year is Ong-Bak where the lead character did all his stunts with no wires or assistance. Sure, he beat on a few guys at a time but he was also very skilled and it was believable and MUCH, MUCH more impressive for it.
31 March 2006, 10:34 PM
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it doesnt matter!
my 2 year old loves to be spiderman.....he doesnt need to climb walls!
my 5 year old loves power rangers.....he doesnt need to be a superhero
and i'm gonna drive my Galaxy tommorow like Frank in his Audi
chill and enjoy
Transporter 2 is just a superhero movie! I loved the bit where the baddies have guns gallore....Frank gets away "we need more ammo! where is it" "the garage...wheres Frank...." "the garage" - sets up Frank V 20 blokes with no ammo left
my 2 year old loves to be spiderman.....he doesnt need to climb walls!
my 5 year old loves power rangers.....he doesnt need to be a superhero
and i'm gonna drive my Galaxy tommorow like Frank in his Audi
chill and enjoy
Transporter 2 is just a superhero movie! I loved the bit where the baddies have guns gallore....Frank gets away "we need more ammo! where is it" "the garage...wheres Frank...." "the garage" - sets up Frank V 20 blokes with no ammo left
31 March 2006, 10:40 PM
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Tiggs have you been drinking!!
I'm all for trying new things but jesus - we are just being fed p*sh!! At least spiderman IS a superhero. The story is that he has spider powers and is stronger, faster, etc than humans because of his spider powers. Likewise power-rangers. James Bond is a man. A normal man. Likewise Frank in tranporter and vin oil burner in XXX. These are normal people flying around like someone turned off gravity with zero explanation of how they can do it. It's not like we are talking 10% of a **** take here. It's not like they are running 100m in 8s which, unbelievable as it is, might be possible! This is ordinary guys doing it in 4s flat!!! This is exaggeration by 100,200,500%!!
I'm all for trying new things but jesus - we are just being fed p*sh!! At least spiderman IS a superhero. The story is that he has spider powers and is stronger, faster, etc than humans because of his spider powers. Likewise power-rangers. James Bond is a man. A normal man. Likewise Frank in tranporter and vin oil burner in XXX. These are normal people flying around like someone turned off gravity with zero explanation of how they can do it. It's not like we are talking 10% of a **** take here. It's not like they are running 100m in 8s which, unbelievable as it is, might be possible! This is ordinary guys doing it in 4s flat!!! This is exaggeration by 100,200,500%!!
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31 March 2006, 10:42 PM
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Roger Moore can ski?
I'd sooner try and bite through a 2" thick steel cable than drive an audi - tough as they may be - through a brick wall and land it 6 storeys down and 50 feet away on the other side of the road.
31 March 2006, 10:49 PM
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Saxo Boy.....heres the transport 2, remade for you:
Opening scene (RIPPED from Bad Boys...even the city!) Girl makes Frank leave the car, baddies ask Frank for code.....Frank asks to take of his jacket...
Big Ugly Niggaaaaar shoots Frank in the leg, gets the code, shoots him in the head...drives off trying to find how the stero works so he can put on Snoop Dog.
the End
Opening scene (RIPPED from Bad Boys...even the city!) Girl makes Frank leave the car, baddies ask Frank for code.....Frank asks to take of his jacket...
Big Ugly Niggaaaaar shoots Frank in the leg, gets the code, shoots him in the head...drives off trying to find how the stero works so he can put on Snoop Dog.
the End
31 March 2006, 10:53 PM
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but are these films perhaps fictional by any chance?
Since we're at it Tiggs - Lord of the Rings:
Eagle dudes fly in, frodo hitches lift, dumps ring in lava, return for hobit sized pints and a few hobbit children for the eagles to pick at. Job done.
31 March 2006, 11:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Saxo Boy
Since we're at it Tiggs - Lord of the Rings:
(Give Gandalf an M6 and an automatic weapon and i'll pay big bucks to see that
)
31 March 2006, 11:51 PM
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I know where you are at Saxo boy,
I borrowed Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon off a mate the other week, the very first fight scene the two birds are running up the sides of buildings, out, up and then over the wide overhung roof. What a croc.. turned it off in disgust after 15 minutes.
Andy
I borrowed Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon off a mate the other week, the very first fight scene the two birds are running up the sides of buildings, out, up and then over the wide overhung roof. What a croc.. turned it off in disgust after 15 minutes.
Andy
01 April 2006, 12:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Fuzz
I know where you are at Saxo boy,
I borrowed Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon off a mate the other week, the very first fight scene the two birds are running up the sides of buildings, out, up and then over the wide overhung roof. What a croc.. turned it off in disgust after 15 minutes.
Andy
I borrowed Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon off a mate the other week, the very first fight scene the two birds are running up the sides of buildings, out, up and then over the wide overhung roof. What a croc.. turned it off in disgust after 15 minutes.
Andy
01 April 2006, 11:20 AM
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Torque, awesome film.
IIRC some of the Bond big wave surfing was real and done by Laird Hamilton. He surfs 60ft+ waves for fun and is towed into them by jet ski (once used a helicopter too).
ewan
IIRC some of the Bond big wave surfing was real and done by Laird Hamilton. He surfs 60ft+ waves for fun and is towed into them by jet ski (once used a helicopter too).
ewan
01 April 2006, 11:40 AM
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Does he surf it on an engine cover though 
Amazing film 
Granted they don't explain how the flux capacitor works and there are some glaring holes in the 'time' plot but it doesn't matter. It explains enough to keep it enjoyable.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and The House of Flying Daggers are different. They are something of an exaggerated art and the films are built around that fact. I'm not really sure how to explain why but they get away with it in the way your average hollywood blockbuster doesn't.
Saxo.. how about Back to the Future?
Granted they don't explain how the flux capacitor works and there are some glaring holes in the 'time' plot but it doesn't matter. It explains enough to keep it enjoyable.Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and The House of Flying Daggers are different. They are something of an exaggerated art and the films are built around that fact. I'm not really sure how to explain why but they get away with it in the way your average hollywood blockbuster doesn't.
01 April 2006, 01:04 PM
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i don't think some people are hearing what your saying saxo 
if you watch a jackie chan movie, he does the stunts for real, rumble in the bronx was the best example of the stunts he does, there are no wires he just relies on his skills and has the ***** to do it.
i think thats what your saying, anyone here could be a superman spiderman on film (well maybe not tiggs) using filming techniques and special effects but how many could jump from a car park to a metal stair well on the building opposite like jackie did
if you watch a jackie chan movie, he does the stunts for real, rumble in the bronx was the best example of the stunts he does, there are no wires he just relies on his skills and has the ***** to do it.
i think thats what your saying, anyone here could be a superman spiderman on film (well maybe not tiggs) using filming techniques and special effects but how many could jump from a car park to a metal stair well on the building opposite like jackie did
01 April 2006, 01:45 PM
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That's what I'm saying warwick Its not that I object to special effects. I don't mind if the hero needs a little help to do the stunts just so long as they are semi-believable. Of late the stunts we are seeing are utterly impossible even with a big stretch of the imagination. I find myself watching these films saying, 'yeah.....RIGHT!' every few minutes. That's a shame because many of them have semi-interesting plots.
Its not that I object to special effects. I don't mind if the hero needs a little help to do the stunts just so long as they are semi-believable. Of late the stunts we are seeing are utterly impossible even with a big stretch of the imagination. I find myself watching these films saying, 'yeah.....RIGHT!' every few minutes. That's a shame because many of them have semi-interesting plots.
01 April 2006, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by bigsinky
porno ain't what it used to beI think Belladonna must use special effects. There is just no way a female body can do whats she get away with
01 April 2006, 03:52 PM
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Ever heard of suspension of belief ?
That's why I watch films, read books, to escape real life for an hour or so.
I feel sorry for those who can't achieve this.
Yve
That's why I watch films, read books, to escape real life for an hour or so.
I feel sorry for those who can't achieve this.
Yve