MY00PPP

Am working from home today (nothing to do with the test match - honest).

Ring Ring - caller id shows 'international' so I prepare for the worst....

*pause* as the technology connects me with the call centre agent...and in the strongest Indian accecnt possible....

'hello sir, my name is shaun williams'....

shaun williams?. not a very Indian name I thought!. Unless the sneaky companies are responding to the backlash of out sourcing overseas by telling the agents to call themselves by an English name.

told him 'not interested, but thanks for the call shaun'.

Reffro

Yeah they are using the false names trick.

jasey

Not new. I always reply with "Hi Shaun - My name's Ranjeet Patel - do you know the urdu for **** off ?"

StickyMicky

yea i have had that as well.

normally a good way to pass 5 mins of my time TBH

scooby_matt

'Roger' calls us alot...

StickyMicky

classic

PMSL will try that one next time

PG

I got a call the other night from a UK based telesales place and before they could tell me any more I told them I wasn't interested.
"What exactlly are you not interested in?" was the reply
So I told him "Anything you might have to try and sell me you cheeky, an Indian could do your job better and cheaper than you ****...Oh and by the way I am registerd with TP...." click brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Dare say he didn't like that !

StickyMicky

i get them asking for the previous manager quite a bit, i registerd the number with the TPS service but still a few come in

had an english bloke asking for "mr cullen" last week

i told him there was nobody here with that name

"when is he avail" etc etc

"he is not, this is not his number"

"is this XXXXXXX valeting" (changed the name when i took over)

"no"

"well can i speak with the owner of the buisiness"

*i lost it a little bit, was allready stressed*
"why?, why the **** are you ringing me up when you dont even know who you are ringing you tosser!"

"just thought i would ring you up for a laugh" says the *** on the line

"whats your name boy"
and he then gives me all his details (fool) so i wrote them down, told him and then informed him the number was registerd with TPS and i was going to pass them on

matchmaker

Get these calls a lot at work. If you divert from their script they're fooked

CS "Can I speak to the owner of the business, please"
ME "No"
CS "Can I speak to the owner of the business, please"
ME "No"
CS "Who is the owner of the business?"
ME "I'm not telling you"
CS "Who are you?"
ME "I'm the guy that's not letting you speak to the owner of the business"

They usually give up at this point

StickyMicky

have you ever just said mad things like "i am mr cat"

and when they rabbit on about how they can save you money on your phone bill (nearly always phones for me for some reason) you keep saying daft cat things like "oooo theres one of my little kittens"

i held somebody up for a good 10 mins once, i could hear her brain trying to engage in what i was saying but she had to go through the motions and say what was written down in front of her like a robot, she hung up when i started making meeeow noises

StickyMicky

another good one, was when i passed the person onto my secretary(i dont have one, it was the G/F that had popped in for breakfast) and she put them on hold (put phone next to radio and left it)

mw2655

once they've started i usually say..

"hello..?"

"hello...?"

ignoring their reply..... and put the phone down

Puff The Magic Wagon!

iTrader: (2)

All sales calls to the office are put through to me

'nough said

Wurzel

iTrader: (1)

Tis nowt new, we have an office in India and all the indians have western names or abbreviated one so that we can pronounce them. I had to set up an email account for an indian here at work and there were 32 characters before the @hp.com bit.

hence the reason for abbreviations and western names, now all our indian employees have 8 character names.

OllyK

Travis Perkins?? You'd get less spam calls if you registered with the TPS

Beef

Oh I am *SO* going to phone up tomorrow and star Meowing or something down the phone at you

(Keith @ Titan)

SCOsazOBY

i posted up the other week about all the calls ive been receiving and a lot of posters gave me some good tips of what to say back. So here i am all prepared and nobody has rang me since

CAT2

iTrader: (3)

This is top and I'm gonna do my own version of this from now on. Good work. Alas, I work in a call centre for a living (but I deal with complaints for an unpopular company, so at least it's intersting.....)

SPEN555

Nowadays I dare not mess about with them in case it's one of those calls which has managed to reverse the charges and so the call is costing you money.

I get them ringing me trying to sell me a mobile phone and when I tell them I am on Pay As You Go and spend £30.................every six months ( I do a deliberate pause so they think they have a potential customer as they are expecting every month). This just stuns them into silence and one guy slammed the phone down on me lol!

SCOsazOBY

When they next ring me i want to give them stupid answers when they say something like,
are you the household owner - whats a household (in a slow puzzled voice)
are you interested in buying a mobile phone - does that come free with my pizza

Felix.

Have you tried wittering on and on about nothing.......like a little old women.

"Oh i am interested in buying a mobile phone, my daughter has one and they are such a good idea, i can phone her where ever she is and she has such a lovely ring tone to it................................................ .................................................. .............. and then we went on a trip to see the Pyrimids - oh it was so nice to see them up close............................................. .................................................. ............. so i said to Betty that the knitting pattern must be wrong........ etc etc"

Generally works a treat

Freelance Badger

Had a phone call from some Indian call centre the other week telling me I was entitled to a free mobile phone. Told him i wasn't interested but he carried on reading his script while I put him on speakerphone. Then he asked for my address and bank details to send the pphone. Told him again I didn't want/need it. He explained that it was such a great deal and everybody needed a mobile phone. Not me I said, I never leave the house - I lost my arms and legs in a accident and was confined to bed with a 24 hr nurse to answer phone calls. He got very upset for bothering me!!!

unfeasablylargegonads

iTrader: (3)

If its a women, just tell her to carry on talking (my be even suggest she talks dirty) while you play with yourslef.

I imagine it would work for men callers as well, prehaps causing them to put the phone down even quicker than the women

OllyK

I'd check out the legislaislation around making lewd suggestions on the telephone before you try that one. There may be nothing to it, but I have vague memories of somebody getting done for doing something similar.

unfeasablylargegonads

iTrader: (3)

lol, its ok I would just blame it on my son, he is under 16 so exempt from prosecution

rotty

These foreign call centres are getting beyond a joke , I rang my local takeaway last night to order a curry , could have sworn that the bloke who took my order was Indian

The Zohan

Last time i had a call from one i just left the phone by the radio, i hope they liked R5 live!

Dave T-S

Beef
PMSL
Look at the posters on this thread - Cat2 or Felix have to ring Puff and do the cat thing

Puff The Magic Wagon!

iTrader: (2)

Or perhaps Dave T-S might do it himself

Neil W

Previous owner of my flat had replacement windows and the company regularly calls to offer me a large discount on a conservatory as I am a valued customer.

I often invite them to come and give me a quote but also remind them that I live on first floor and would be very interested as to how they will actually attach the conservatory - they usually hang up at this point.

If I was that valued they should know I live on first floor.