Funkii Munkii

Or as I like to call this story "F*cked up Santa"

I'm sure some of you can better this but I will start the ball rolling.

My Better half was taking our 2 and a half year old Daughter with a friend and their 2 yr old to see Father Christmas at a place called Crews Hill in Hertfordshire, now this place in Crews Hill has a very good reputation, its not your ordinary Grotto, its Santa land, with real live Reindeers, a train ride through various Christmas scenes, it is quite a large set up, all areas have a multitude of lights, a lot of money has been spent on this set up year after year, every parent knows of this place and they all take their kids there, so on this basis off they went and true to the word of everyone they had spoken too it was indeed magnificent, kids were having a wonderful time and were so excited, so they board the train for Santa's Grotto and off it chugs, they're sitting at the front of the train knowing they will be 1st to see Santa, the excitement is really building now, the train pulls into Grotto Central and off they get, they then proceed into the Grotto, to be greeted with a deathly silence, you could cut the atmosphere with a knife, my daughter spotted Santa and steamed toward him smiling and laughing as she went, she was chuffed to bits but still nothing from Santa, no Hello or Ho Ho Ho, by now she was standing in front of him and still nothing, the smiles had gone and were replaced with bemusement, he is just sitting there trembling !!, at this point it is obvious to every one gathered that Santa is actually an 80+ year old man who has seen his last Reindeer anus, so my better half now says to the "helper" is this it, does he not speak and what about the photo, "oh yes the photo, I'll get the photographer" 5 minutes later and still no photographer, so she asks again and finally a woman appears with a budget digi cam takes one photo and disapears, still Santa is sitting there ignoring the children just trembling, and after asking again is that it my missus tells our daughter to go and tell Santa what she would like for Christmas, she tells him she wants a Leap Frog, Santa now looks at my daughter and grunts something which turned out to be "choose a toy", again she repeats Leap Frog, "eh", Leap Frog says my missus, twice more on our daughters behalf, twice more Santa says "eh" "Eh", then for the classic lets destroy Christmas for the kiddies moment, try to imagine the old trembling guy patting his ear saying "No, no its no good, batteries have gone, batteries have gone" his hearing aid has packed up he then proceeds to pull down his beard in fron of the kids and start to gurn......

Well you can imagine the horror, she went away to complain but they didnt seem to give a monkeys and offered her the picture for free, which she crazily insisted on paying for!, it was slightly blurred my daughter was looking at the floor and Santa's eyes were glazed over. I'm really pleased I wasn't there as I would have wanted more than a bloody photo, how they can build something up and then the end product being so **** poor is unbelieveable, especially where kids are involved, I wonder how many 5,6,7 year olds went away thinking he's not real.

All that said we were pissing ourselves when she recounted the story that evening over some wine.

Reality

That's terrible - making pslewis earn his money - he's obviously finally realised his nuclear scientist pension isn't worth as much as he thought .

Shame for your kids .

When I was in Australia a few years back there was this guy wearing red shorts, White beard and red santa hat outside a supermarket.

He was clearly pissed and when he saw me coming he stutters "Christ sonny, how you've shot up since last year" .

V1CK1

Scan the piccie so we can see him!

Funkii Munkii

I said she should give the story to the scum and use the piccy, she didnt want our daughter in the paper, and I havent posted a piccy on SN for years and cant remember how to do it, sadly I dont have a beardless gurning one, just the official lets all stare at the floor version....


"Christ sonny, how you've shot up since last year"

Quality

Wish

iTrader: (2)

There is only one place to take your daughter, and thats Lapland. Took my son last year (he was 4 then) and the magic is still there. Sure its expensive, but £1000 to make my sons dreams come ture for a few years is priceless.

And we got to play in the snow, raindeer rides, husky dog ride, snow mobiles.....
First choise are the people to go with.

Its money very well spent.