EddScott

Looks like I've come to the end of the line with the GF so its time to go our seperate ways.

Not going to go through all the issues here for risk of the "Don't spill your guts on a bbs" posts. All I need are some answers to who is entitled to what (I'll be going to a solictor shortly anyway)

Bit of background -

We've lived in the house for 4 years. We have a daughter. All the bills and mortgage are solely in my name.

I have offered to keep paying only the rates for the house. I don't think she will stay in the house and I think she'll move to Yorkshire with her folks.

What I really need to know is, if she moves, is she entitled to anything from the house? i.e. any equity in the house or any of its contents etc.

Julz1983

I think with a partner, even if not married, you only have to be togehter for 18 months so that the other person is entitled to half etc, I remember this as it happened to my hubby's Mum, and I rememeber her saying 18 months isn't a long time for someone to be entitled to a half share in things.

Nick

The daughter is yours? Has your gf paid anything towards the running of the home? Does she have a job?

The first issue will be the child. You will be required to provide support until the child leaves school. The amount of support will depend on each of your earnings.

Depending on your gf's financial contributions to the home, she may not be entitled to very much if anything. The child is the issue.
See a solicitor now. Get a nasty rottweiler solicitor because she will after she's spoken to her friends.

Dazzler

I think the fact you have a daughter weights it in her favour, married or not married.

Bit of a shame for it to end though Edd, esp if you have a daughter. I suppose you've exhausted all avenues to try to stay together and make it work?

Patt@firstime

Couldn't agree more

OllyK

I asked similar questions of the CAB before my partner moved in. In short, I was told she would not be entitled to anything if we split as her name was not on anything. If she had been contributing to the payment of the mortgage however she may be able to make a claim to get some cash back, but would not be entitled to the house or be able to force me to sell it.

As some have said, you will no doubt have a duty to provide for your daughter, but again I doubt that means handing over anything that is legally yours.

EddScott

TBH she's contributed FA since we've been there. She's bought maybe 1 or 2 weeks worth of shopping but thats it. She works in a restaurant but her wages are pretty low and only just pays off her credit card and catalogue debts (which she consistently fails to pay on time) and her car insurance (shes currently serving a 15 month driving ban)

I don't want to leave my daughter but its all gone too far. My GF has a problem with binge drinking and even after 1 pint she won't stop and behaves appallingly. I've offered to leave everything and just walk away so at least my daughter is still in the house she's always known. However my GF is adamant she's off to yorkshire to live with her parents whereupon they will all live quite happily off my CSA payments.

If she won't stay in the house, I'd quite like to stay there having paid for it for the last 5 years. What I don't want to happen is even though I offered it to her she walks out and then asks for half of it and its contents.

I'm trying to be as honourable as possible to protect our daughter but my GF so self absorbed she is quite happy to disrupt our daughters life completely.

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

CAB info

scoobynutta555

My understanding is that if everything is in your name and youre not married then she gets fa. Cant think where 18 months comes into it.

Julz1983

My mother in law was with her partner for 20 odd years, they never got married, they split earlier this year, she pays the mortgage, all household bills etc, he didn't pay for anything (he was a tosser), after they split he said he wanted half the house or cash, she wasn't giving him half her house that he made no payment towards and she couldn't afford to give him cash, she went to a solicitor to find out more and got told that the other person is entitles to half etc after only 18 months of being together, in the end she had to give him £10,000 just to get him off her back, after 20 odd years of living together and not paying a penny (he worked btw), and thats what he got coz he wouldn't leave her alone.

Nick

Stop offering her stuff, she will use it against you. Get her out the house, see a solicitor. Your only problem is the child support which you seem happy to pay. Try to get evidence about her behaviour, especially if she's been violent. Decide about the child, would you like to look after her? There are 2 sides to every story, but it sounds as though she would be better with you.

Brendan Hughes

The courts never cease to amaze us, but if you can get it officially that you are splitting because of her binge drinking (not just something wishy washy like irreconcilable differences) then I don't think it very responsible of a court to then decide that she has custody of the child.

Good luck, for all concerned.

MikeCardiff

iTrader: (2)

First thing - GO AND SEE A SOLICITOR !!!!

Second, dont give her the house, chances are she'd only sell it and move in with her parent anyway, so whats the point in you losing it ?

I assume the gf is the mother of your daughter ? if she has serious debt and drinking problems and a crap job, dont assume a court will award her custody of your daughter - courts are often more inclined now to look at what is best for the child, and if you have a decent job, can provide a loving safe environment to bring her up etc... then they will take this into account.

Get together proof of the bills and mortgage as well to show she hasnt made any significant financial contribution to the costs of running the house so you can show these to the solicitor.

EddScott

From the CAB info, it appears that she may not be able to demand half the value of the house but she may be able through the courts to prevent me from selling it out from under her (although this won't happen).

I don't want to go down the custody route unless she gets worse and I feel our daughter might be in danger. Sadly, although I can prove that she has a binge drink issue she also has stuff on me which will ruin any chance of custody - or at worse make both of us appear unfit for custody.

I don't care about leaving the house although the walk away from a house I've paid for 99.99% for 5 years is a bit much its worth it to ensure our daughter is affected as little as possible. Bit annoyed that I can't afford to rent a house with a garage so my scoobs going to be out in the cold - got a nasty feeling that thats another relationship I may have to give up too never mind, only possessions!

sociopath

Tell her to f*ck off out of it. There is no such thing as 'common law wife'. If she hasn't contributed financially to the house or its contents then she is entitled to sweet FA.

If she has custody of the child then she will be entitled to apply for maintenance from you, so if you want custody then fight the dog for your daughter. As people have already said, if she is a proven drunk then you might stand a chance. Its the only way to make sure your money goes to your daughter and not the drunk.

Get legal representation now and start making a list of everything you have against her. She will return the favour, so don't feel guilty. Getting rid of her is best for both you and your daughter in the long term so don't roll over.

Sociopath's 3 steps to happiness:

1) No marriage, ever.
2) No joint mortgage, joint bank account or joint anything, ever.
3) The snip

They can't touch you!

Milamber

iTrader: (2)

Apart from devoting her time to looking after your daughter?

Were you engaged?

EddScott

Contributed financially FA and once the drink starts flowing its me who takes our daughter to bed while her mother parties with mates in the kitchen, causing havok, upsetting neighbours, fighting with nieghbours and ending up with the police knocking on the door to sort it all out (3 times I've woken up after taking our daughter to bed to find the police in the house due to her and her mates)

No we were not engaged.

so don't to me thankyou!

Stueyb

I had exactly the same situation a few weeks back. I actually sat down with my solicitor and talked to him. Now basically, as she contributed very little, ie a bit of shopping here and there, and she appeared on none of the bills. Ended up serving her with a notice of eviction.

Her solicitor seemed to think that she was entitled to something, but I heard no more from it.

Milamber

iTrader: (2)

A mothers role is frequently underrated but you sound like you've got a real handful.

If you weren't engaged then you are on even better ground, the one sticking point is, of course, that of your daughter. She needs to be looked after and if your ex can't work while she is doing that.........

retracted in these special circumstances.

EddScott

Thanks mate, just a bit edgy, if I wanted to argue with someone I'd go home for lunch

Cheers to all.

Markus

Obviously go and see a solicitor, they're qualifed to speak on this stuff, we're all just keyboard jockeys with access to google . So I can live up to that have a peek here.