Freindship
10 June 2005, 12:36 PM
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Friendship
What's your definition of friendship?
To me it is a casual give and take of communication and get togethers. No hard and fast rules about owing each other a meal, or a call, or a visit. But equal input from both sides.
I'm asking this because a very dear friendship of mine has just come to an end. It was an important friendship because the person in question was there at two very important events in my life as a witness and now through a gross misunderstanding/disagreement on both parts about what friendship should consist of, it has all come away at the seams.
Bit of a sad day really.
To me it is a casual give and take of communication and get togethers. No hard and fast rules about owing each other a meal, or a call, or a visit. But equal input from both sides.
I'm asking this because a very dear friendship of mine has just come to an end. It was an important friendship because the person in question was there at two very important events in my life as a witness and now through a gross misunderstanding/disagreement on both parts about what friendship should consist of, it has all come away at the seams.
Bit of a sad day really.
Last edited by Apparition; 10 June 2005 at 01:14 PM. Reason: To Make it clear this is a serious thread. And to correct spellings.
10 June 2005, 12:42 PM
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More seriously - very often a friendship that has been strong can overcome a hiccup in the relationship. Probably both parties regret what has happened so if you can face a meet and a chat, perhaps with a glass or three, to soften emotions then who knows.....
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10 June 2005, 12:45 PM
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I expect I've put this on the wrong forum... and NO the reply to Spoon. I'm pretty gutted by what's happened and would appreciate you taking it seriously. After all...... this isn't Muppets is it ? Or are you going to prove me wrong?
10 June 2005, 12:48 PM
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Thanks David, knew I could rely on you. But Nope, its gone and won't be resurrected. Think it's just hitting me now. Just wanted to get some feedback from you guys on here to see if I've been a total idiot or was I right to stick to my beliefs.
10 June 2005, 01:22 PM
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I went back to the UK a while ago and went out for a round of golf and a few beers with a friend that I hadn't seen for about six years, it was like we hadn't seen each other for a week. He commented that that was what proper friendship was about and I agree, no complications, point scoring yes but only for the sake of banter. He also said that he didn't think you could have such a relationship as a friend with a woman, I'm not so sure about that. 
10 June 2005, 01:23 PM
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a gross misunderstanding/disagreement on both parts about what friendship should consist of
isn't that ironic, don't you think?
10 June 2005, 01:26 PM
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So I take it that the friend has asked for loyalty beyond the call of ordinary friendship; for instance, asking you to lie for them, or something of that nature.
10 June 2005, 01:36 PM
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So you value the friendship? (clearly or else you wouldn't take the time to post)
There are lots of levels of friendship anyway - someone you know, someone you know well, you see a lot of and like, on and on to someone who you would trust with your life and utterly have faith in...
So putting a broad statement on something that really is so complex is a bit simple in my opinion.
Anyway, all this is besides the point. I've had a falling out with my best mate, he was being a pain in the **** and I damn' near bit his head off. (sh)It happens, get over it.
If you value this person as a friend then work something out. If you think that person is all one way traffic, move on.
Friendships take effort, from all parties - if you want a pithy statement, try that one.
There are lots of levels of friendship anyway - someone you know, someone you know well, you see a lot of and like, on and on to someone who you would trust with your life and utterly have faith in...
So putting a broad statement on something that really is so complex is a bit simple in my opinion.
Anyway, all this is besides the point. I've had a falling out with my best mate, he was being a pain in the **** and I damn' near bit his head off. (sh)It happens, get over it.
If you value this person as a friend then work something out. If you think that person is all one way traffic, move on.
Friendships take effort, from all parties - if you want a pithy statement, try that one.
10 June 2005, 01:42 PM
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Without you giving any details of whats happened its difficult to say if whats happened is unreasonable or not.
With "friendship" I believe its important when things go wrong to be able to see it from the other persons perspective and work through it, but that only really applies to differences of opinion and straight forward different points of view which aren't serious enough to really fall out over in the way that you seem to have.
You say "was I right to stick to my beliefs" - well if your beliefs are more important to you than your friend, or you are talking about being betrayed, being seriously decieved, or other serious problems then Yes you were right. If its a case of just proving a point, then probably not.
You know the answer to this deep down, only you can decide what to do.
With "friendship" I believe its important when things go wrong to be able to see it from the other persons perspective and work through it, but that only really applies to differences of opinion and straight forward different points of view which aren't serious enough to really fall out over in the way that you seem to have.
You say "was I right to stick to my beliefs" - well if your beliefs are more important to you than your friend, or you are talking about being betrayed, being seriously decieved, or other serious problems then Yes you were right. If its a case of just proving a point, then probably not.
You know the answer to this deep down, only you can decide what to do.
10 June 2005, 01:43 PM
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Apparition man!
To me,friendship is the most important and valuable relationship between two people.it differs from sexual relationships coz there are far less expectations.The main thing you expect is loyalty and understanding.In good and solid friendship,there wouldnt be any room for gross misunderstanding.so, i know its sad but just as well this friendship of yours is coming to an end coz it wasnt as genuine as it should have been.
Take it easy man!
To me,friendship is the most important and valuable relationship between two people.it differs from sexual relationships coz there are far less expectations.The main thing you expect is loyalty and understanding.In good and solid friendship,there wouldnt be any room for gross misunderstanding.so, i know its sad but just as well this friendship of yours is coming to an end coz it wasnt as genuine as it should have been.
Take it easy man!