met

sort of in line with the whose dropped a bike thread.....
i just had to see if anyone can match this one.
last year in my 4x4 saph cosworth looking mighty cool, parked up nose into kerb in a parking bay outside blockbusters to get dvd, kids all outside the kebab shop etc, looking at the cosworth, come back hit the remote start on the alarm (which hasnt been fitted properly, as its not supposed to work if the cars left in gear) to impress the local yoofs id left the car in gear & the clifford alarm trys to start the engine 3 times before giving up & guess what, my cosworth complete with blacked out windows, 1st turn the car hits the kerb, 2nd try it mounts it 3 rd turn it hits the dwarf brick wall of the indian restaurant,
how much of a **** did i feel. laughed about it later though......

rr_ww

Julz1983

I tried to look cool while living back home, there was an airfield where you could learn to drive so us girls used 2 go with all the boy racers and get to drive their cars, **** here tries to look like she knows what shes doing and turns away to look at someone else who was alongside me, instead of braking I accelerated got in a panic and dived straight in to a pothole, or should I say crater which I didn't realise was there coz water was lying in it which made it look like a puddle, next min I had flooded the engine and burst a pipe, it was pissing down and we had to push it to my Aunty's house, how embarrassed was I...........very.

LG John

ROTFLMAO @ Met - I'd pay a weeks wages to see that

Cold Turkey

Met thats a classic ... mine is nowhere near that daft but I still cringe when I think about it ...

First time I went to a petrol station in my new scoob (first impreza) I pulled up at the pumps next to some of the local 'corsa boys' who all promptly turned round to stare when they heard the low throb of my exhaust ... WR1s were still relatively new then and it caused a bit of a stir ... I proudly got out to fill up before realising I didn't know how to release the petrol cap cover ... had to get back in the car and faff around until I had found it, then got back out again to fill up before realising I didn't have any money on me so had to get back in the car and sheepishly drive off with everyone still staring

kammy

LOL. I once was holding in my err..waste.. and i was a passenger. My bro hit a hump at silly speeds, the rest was history. I never saw my boxers again. Still i was young, at 18 years old, you live you learn.
Kam

mart360

My mate thought it would be cool to get the back end out on my softopped Triumph herald whilst running round a roundabout, near our old school(impress the girlys!!) so he yanks on the handbrake and sure enough the back end locks and steps out.... big squeal of tyres and the car starts to fish tail.

and then comes to a shuddering halt.......

dozy f*ck had pulled the handbrake past the end stop, and the pawl has wedged on the outer part of the housing... one triumph stuck with the **** end out on a rather large roundabout.!!!!

Suffice to say it wasnt one of his more memorable stunts..


Mine though was very uncool.....

whilst driving into the estate where i lived, i thought i would get the back end out and impress the guys who were chatting on the corner..

as it had been snowing the chances of a bloody good drift were on the cards... so its full lock apply the power and go... and yes the back end came out... feed the power on .. so far so good, then the car began to drift and the kerb approached rapidly.. Bang one car onto the kerb at 45 degrees..

one snapped trunnion. and the front wheel out at an odd angle...

had to get my neighbour in his legacy to hemp me jack the car up and slide it home on some planks of wood. and just to make me look really stupid, i went to a scrapy in salisbury to get a replacement trunnion. .(saving cash)
cept i didnt realise they were handed, and i brought back the wrong one...

Shhhsh


Mart

Edcase

LMAO, very similar, about 5 years ago in a supermarket car park in a friends pimped calibra. There were three really fit women parked next to the car in a convertible.

My mate is a bit of a ladies man, said hi while he got in the car, one of them made a comment which he laughed at flirtatiously and then proceeded to drive straight forwards, bang, up onto the kerb seperating the parking 'aisles', and then got completely beached as the suspension was too low so the tyres couldnt get traction!!!!

We had to get out and push the car back while he gave it loads!!

I nearly wet my pants!

Leslie

Had to smile when I remembered my early attempts when learning to drive a car. My old friend used to take me along some narrow roads around Gomshall and Shere out in the country.

We were in an old Vauxhall Velox with a "handlebar" gearchange and when I changed gear I kept moving the wheel in the opposite direction! Just as well it was out in the sticks and no other traffic

He was well advanced on me because he used to go out with his elder brother at night in their father's car when he was 13 and he used to wear a trilby with false glasses and a moustache. Bit like Groucho Marx

He is still a good mate and has not changed that much

Les

trails

iTrader: (41)

not me but one of my mates brought a 355GTS, first weekend he goes and fills it up at the local petrol station; fills it up, walks up to the booth, pays, cool as ****, walks back to his car smiling at the admiring glances, gets in the car and realises he has got in the passenger side cause its a left hooker...he then spends 5mins pretending to look for something in his glove box before climbing out, getting in the right side and driving off

Gutmann pug

On holiday in spain with my mates. We hired a car for a couple of days. Come the time to take the car back my mate went bounding from the room saying he would return it. Looking all cool he ran out into the parking area which was between all the rooms with loads of people sat out having a beer and watching the goings on. He casually slipped his shades on whilst blipping the alarm, remote central locking button. He nonchalontly swang the door upon and hopped in ..... 2 Seconds later he jumped back out again saying ''best get in the side with the steering wheel then'' ........ the whole place erupted ..........

Gary

Vette_76

PMSL



That's the sort of thing I'd do!!

scoobys20mgh

thank god no one saw, the other day was getting into my car in tescos, managed to shut the door on my head! (don't have a pringles size/shape head in the slightest mind!) well hurt, and made my ear bleed, felt a right tw*t.............

trails

iTrader: (41)

wtf

Gutmann pug

done that myself.........its the only time I can say i saw stars before my eyes .....

rb5037

You guys have had me PMS WITH L

Can't think of anything i wish to disclose that betters any of them.

Keep them coming, need cheering up!!

ru'

A long while ago I stuck my head out of the car window to say hello to a mate; window was closed and my car was full of idiots who thought it was funny. It wasn't' it bl00dy hurt. Also around the same time I spat out of the same closed window.

I recently tried to show off the acceleration of my scoob to a workmate, standing start, dumped clutch at high revs. It was in second gear...

Couple of times I've opened the boot when pulled up at a filling station, instead of the filler cap - I then have to pretend to find something in the boot...

Can't think of any more, but I'm sure I have done some - will post if anything comes back.

Poor Guy

today, me being a silly git. Showing off the GT6 in this gret weather outside school talking to a few old mates. pulls away with some revs and didnt realise my wheels were pointing pathwaise. Mounts kerb drives down pavement like a ****.

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

Mate has a new MGF. Took the pi55 out of him as you'd expect etc... then one day I wanted a lift home. He had the top down (mild summer aft), put on his fake prada shades.... I told him to take them off and put the fooking hook up as we'd look a right pair of benders! He said to shut the fu.ck up and get in if I wanted a lift home. Not much choice so I did. He then sticks in an old tape one of his ex's did for him... loads of terrible love songs etc.

We are driving along and get to a set of lights on red just as 3 hot women are crossing the road.... my mate turn the stereo up all the way just as the Bangels - Eternal Flame comes on..... " Close your eyes give me your hand.... darling, Do you feel my heart beating..." The shame is killing me then to cap it he puts his arm round me and pulls me to him! What a GIT!! The women started pi55ing themselves as did he!

Have to admit I saw the funny side after though

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

When I was 18 I was at the pub I worked at, nice evening about 8pm, still light and had just popped in to collect my wages, so I get back in my MK1 GTI, minter with lowered suspension and a loud exhaust, was maneuvering out of a parking space and I got collared by one of the younger regulars and we chatted for a bit, he hadnt seen the car before so he asks me to give it some stick, i.e. screech off, so being a dick I did forgetting I was in reverse and not first, very very nearly hit the pub wall, I sort of got away with it by wanging it in first whilst it still had a bit of momentum and it produced a superb ammount of smoke and fury.

One of the other regulars used to do donuts in his bosses car at the pub, none less than a Bentley Turbo R, now that did smoke, in fact the guy worked for a car dealer so every car he turned up in got the treatment, Remember an Astra estate expiring one night as the p1ssed up **** abused it, twenty minutes of burnouts and handbrakes (and a very annoyed landlord) and there was no drive, a bad smell and oil everywhere, he had to drag it up the road away from the car park as it was obvious what had been going on from the lines.

My cousin took us out in his Vauxhall Magnum 2.3 (Saturday Night Viva with a Chevette HS engine), way to powerful, rwd and just plain barking, decides to show us how to opposite lock, we ended in a field first time out.

Got my foot stuck between the steering column and the brake lever in my girlfreinds lite ace van and could only stop by yanking the handbrake, slid into the middle of a junction, narrowly avoiding several cars.

Pulled a handbrake in the Golf (in the snow), the handbrake cable snapped so ended up going straight up a kerb ( a very high one in Wythenshawe), ripped the spoiler off but no other damage, thought it would be ruined but the tracking was still spot on !

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

pmsl

Although there is nothing 'funny' about an MGF....alright?

wwp8

once,
when driving (current car) some people were looking and giving thumbs up, on the pavement,
started speeding, and slipped on the clutch and missed the gear giving a pathetic, growl on engine, going nowhere.

CooperS

Was reversing off my mates drive, thought I'd got the window down, stuck my head out of the window, which, it turns out, was only half way down, cracked my head on the it and scratched the **** out of my brand new (3 day old) Ray Bans

Brit_in_Japan

One car I used to have had a sticky seat adjustment mechanism. I'd been cleaning it and had moved the seat back to the right position before setting off. I got in, put the seatbelt on and accelerated away sharply. The seat locking mechanism wan't engaged and the drivers seat shot backwards, so much so that I couldn't reach any of the pedals and barely able to cling onto the steering wheel. Not good considering the end of the road was only about 20m away. A panicked grab of the handbrake was required to bring the car to a stop, kangeroo-style as the car was still in gear (hadn't though of knocking it out gear, it all happened so quick). My girlfriend passenger as was not impressed

A work colleague (years ago) had a rather embaressing moment. He was a 20 year old "kid", he'd definitely be a chav in todays world. It was his first overseas business trip and he wanted to show how man-of-the-world he was by driving the hire car. He was driving with his boss and two german customers. They'd been to lunch and were returning to the office when he got a bit lost and needed to turn around. Seeing a nice flat piece of concrete infront of a garage he pulled in and swung it around. Now he didn't read German, which was a problem as otherwise he'd have realised the signs read "wet cement". As he was pulling back onto the road he could see that he'd left 5cm deep tyre tracks all over this newly laid garage forecourt. Nobody said anything so he just got back on the road and completed the journey. Just as he thought he'd got away with anyone noticing, one of the german guys lent forward and said "ve saw nothing !"

bluenosewrx

iTrader: (2)

Was in a long line of traffic going sraight on at the lights,looked in my right mirror and this clapped out fiesta comes down to the line next to me in the turn right lane, there was about thirty to forty cars behind me and we had all been waiting patiently getting through about 10 cars at a time. so wee ****** looks at me and makes it clear he's going straight on and jumping the queue of cars,No Way i thought, as the lights go green i floor it, try second gear and can't get the gearstick in second as the fiesta passes me and waves(by this time i'm raging and panicking at the same time as i can't get second gear(thought i had fuc**d it being a smart ar*e).looked down and my mobile had been launched from the storage compartment in front of the gearstick and jammed itself inbetween the 1st and 2nd gear, and everyone was still stuck behind.
Mac.

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

Not if you're a hairdresser no

Cough

King RA

When I had just passed my test I decided to try my hands at being Colin McRae in my MK1 Golf. Entered my parents cul-de-sac and attempted a left foot braking manouvere, this however resulted in me driving directly into my neighbours wall and knocking it all over their garden!!

Jumped out the car and tried to rebuild it best I could but it was a 3d puzzle, and I'm no good at puzzles!!! Skulked off back into the house and tried to forget about it.

Couple of days later my dad says "Scott, you didn't happen to smash so and so's wall down did you??"

"No" I replied

"That's funny because they saw you do it, and now they want you to rebuild it!!"

Parents were NOT amused, had to go round and apoligise. Never did rebuild their wall though HAHAHAHA!!!

noxid

I was in the car with a mate and had been drinking fairly heavily as boys of 18 do, down in one tripple vodka's etc, anyway, his girlfriend is driving us back and my mate suddenly announces he's going to be sick so she shouts at him to make sure his window is down so he duly operates the winder, the thing is his window was already down and he had wound it up in his very pi$$ed state, he then projectile vomits into the window and it rebounds all over him and his girlfriends car. Would have been funny if we hadn't had to walk the 5 miles home after she chucked us out!

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

PMSl Exactly, that's why they're not funny!!

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Grateful to this poster for reminding us not to give drunken mates a lift home in out precious cars!!!