T4molie

The missus and I have got to the stage in our relationship where she has decided that what she wants most in life is, yip you guessed it, a little un or 2

I unfortunately find myself unsure as to whether that is what I want A younger brother of mine has 2 (niece and nephew) who I love to pieces but I find that when I've looked after them for say 3-4 hours I feel so drained inside and just want to collapse in a heap, which is kind of making me wonder whether they're really for me!?! TBH with all these programs she keeps watching like Supernanny (I can't watch it cos it just makes me want to kill em all ) and the others to do with Infertility and so on, it just makes me feel more negative about it all.

Now I'm not looking for anyone to make my mind up but I was wondering whether anyone else on here had similar worries / concerns about taking the BIG jump when it happened and ... erm... how are you now?

Cheers

Andy

TelBoy

Don't base your decision on somebody else's kids or a telly programme.

If you want them, and the time's right, go for it. Sorted.

Spoon

It was the beginning of the end of my marriage on the arrival of our daughter unfortunately.

Having the thoughts you are having now says it all from where I am sitting.

Karl 227

I have two lovely kids and definitely prefer them to the Ferrari and the Sunseeker Thunderhawk that I would have now if I hadn't impregnated my lovely wife with my seed of the devil.

Clarebabes

You wouldn't have it any other way!

Karl 227

True.

T4molie

Soory to hear that Spoon. Did you have similar questions in your head prior to your daughter arriving?

sti-04!!

They are the only things in the world that can make you want to kill one minute & be buckled on the floor laughing the next

I suppose its all down to preferance & what you feel you want from life

T4molie

My bro's father in law maintains all of Sunseekers boats in Menorca, I could have a word a get a deal?

Karl 227

Now you're just twisting the knife.

Karl 227

Although, I am going to Menorca in August.

T4molie

Well give me a shout closer to the date and I may be able to get a day on one for you and the family

Lovely boats they are

PCatWork

Best thing that's ever happened to me (cliche, I know - but also true).

I was sure that I wanted a kid before we had one. I just suddenly realised that it was what we should do.

Karl 227

mart360

kids never improve or bring closer a flagging relationship!!!


if you are stable and are prepared for hard work, very hard work then go for it.


otherwise think long and hard, they ARE for life!!!!



Mart


2 boys one 2 one 12 you work it out!!!


M

Geezer

I wasn't as sure as my wife, I have to say, but your own are totally different from anyone elses kids. They are fantastic, drive you mad of course, but it's worth it.

Forget any experience you have with someone elses kids, even ones as close as your brothers, it simply isn't the same.

99.9 % of the people I know who have had kids love it and don't regret it. However, there is that 0.01%.....

Geezer

03-CTR

kids are evil little ****'s that are just out to get you. they drive you insane a lot of the time as they need attention that you can't always give and know exactly how to push the button that makes you want to kill them

however the flip side is that they are the most rewarding things you can devote your time and life to. looking after someone elses kids is not a patch on having your own as there is nothing out there that can touch the experience.

having said that though. if you're having any sort of doubt (other than financial) then don't bother as the single most cursed thing you can do is to have a child when sat on the fence (the other being producing a child to cement a relationship).

just my 2p

Spoon

No, we were both looking forward to children. What neither of us planned for was the one sided possessiveness that took over my wife.

Life as a couple ended there and then. Nobody got to hold our daughter, nobody was even offered, which was noticed by everyone.

We never went out as a couple, the ex wouldn't let anybody look after her.

Anybody could have been bleeding to death next to my ex and she wouldn't have noticed.

It was all totally out of previous character traits and even recognised by herself but she couldn't change.

Game over.

Leslie

You usually find that you love your own children much better than any one else's. Surprising what a difference it makes when you made them in the first place.

Les

03-CTR

lol.

completely obvious but i don't think you quite realise this until you have your own. before i got married i was with someone that had two (under two) from a previous relationship. they were so lovely i thought i loved them as much as i would my own. hell i was wrong and not by a small amount either.

OllyK

Unless you are totally committed to having kids, and can afford to support them stop think thinking about it and find a hobby instead.

MJW

... like masturbation, for example !

T4molie

...that's a good one

MJW

Just make sure she's nowhere near the 'arc of fire' first though !

T4molie

Yeah get the angle of fire wrong and that could have some consequences

MOK79

It's a tough decision to make. I was very unsure when my wife said we should have a sprog. I would totally change subject when she bought it up and told her I wasn't ready. Then I had a head on collision which, I was very lucky to survive according to doctors and police. It was a 140mph impact (roughly) and I came out with severe bruising of the chest and was out of action for a good month.

Anyway, this put things into perspective and I decided there and then that I was ready (to give it a go at least) to have a sprog. Life is far too short and you don't know what is round the corner. I would hate to leave without having given it a go.

4 kids later and I haven't looked back. It can be bloody hard and pull your hair out times but they are just great fun as well. As someone said you could be ready to kill one of them and then 10seconds later you'll be trying as hard as you can not to show your laughter.

Well thats my opinion and I would recommend it to anyone .

OllyK

If he gets the wife up the duff, he'll be taking that one up anyway

T4molie

Yeah and my **** collection might suddenly increase

03-CTR

<spits coffee at screen>

jeeps man i was just reading your post, nodding to myself, expecting to read that you'd had 1 not 4 !!

so you've basically gone from one near death experience to another good on yer

T4molie

I'm one of 4 and if I did decide to take the plunge I'd already decided that I wouldn't have any more than 2 - I've seen what having 4 can do to you (ie my parents)