THIS is IT!!, THIS, is WAR, THIS.... is MAN vs MOUSE!!!!
29 December 2004, 11:52 PM
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THIS is IT!!, THIS, is WAR, THIS.... is MAN vs MOUSE!!!!
It all started xmas eve, I borrowed my dads old volvo to go to asda to get some xmas pressents, I bought a Jumbo Tolblerone (sp), a box of Cadbury's Roses, a box of quality street and a few other items. I got home and went inside leaving the pressies in the boot forgotten about.
about 3 hours later I went to retrieve the prezzies and take them in and wrap them, I opened the boot, the bag of prezzies was on one side of the boot, but from my alightly adventurous driving style the cadbury's roses has ended up on the other side of the boot, apart from that the boot was empty.
So i picked up the bag of boxes of choccies, and was just about to pick up the roses when I notived something wrong, HORRIDLY WRONG!!!!
The box.......... had a hole in the bottom!!!! beside the hole a neat little pile of chewed and shredded the cadbury's roses box!
MICE!!! AAARGH GODDAMN IT!!! I thought, bloddy little things!!!
I put the box inside a much large plastic box and took the rest in... after thouroughly inspecting them, no other damage to the other prezzies so all was safe for them to be wrapped.
I want back to the box of roses and carefully opening it, and tipped the contents into the larger plastic box, checking that nothing was left inside... empty! So there I was, slowly checking the contents of the roses box.... lots of half eaten and nibbled chocolates!!! but no other sign of the mice!!!
Ok, So the little ******* has scoffed his fat little face with MY CHOCOLATES!!! Right, it was time to devise the battle plan. Retreating to the war room (my bedroom
) I worked out what to do.
Here is the plan of action I layed out.
1) Would not move car if possible as not to disturb them.
2) Know your enemy!!! The like chocolate, cheese, **** everywhere, and are a damn pain, but predictable, or so I thought....
3) The battle plane, phase 1 - Hearts and minds campaign. - To win the love and trust of the mouse by feeding it what it likes, get it nice and comfortable and use to a regular supply of nice scrumpshous food.
4) The battle Plan, phase 2 - capture and control - the following morning would require a humane mouse trap, some cheese and some patience.
The plan in action!
Ok, so before i would settle in for the evening I wqould start the Hearts and Minds campaign and get give the enemy some food. So i put a small plate upside down in the boot, and placed a small amount of cheese on it, then I retreated for a few hours and wait for signs of enemy activity in the area.
2 hours later, a quick recconasance mission, I carefully open the boot, the cheese had vanished! Right I thought, It now knows there is food about in the boot. I decide to put some more cheese down, and get the enemy used to what would soon become 'The Sting' location for capturing the ememy troops.
I retreat to bed for the night to speep over the coming days capture and control mission.
Xmas day - Yes, I realised this too, no bloody shops would be open!! argh!!!, ok, not to panic, I decide to continue with the hearts and minds campaign for a few more days that expected, until the required supplies can be obtained.
So over xmas day and boxing day the enemy mouse would glady stuff it's face with the cheese and chocolate I supplied it with. Little did it know it's days were numbered in the safety of the car.
Monday, Day after boxing day, CAPTURE AND CONTROL day!!!
In the early hours of the morning (well, 9:30, gotta wait for the shops to open) I rondevouz'd with the supply base (Homebase) and acquired the the supplies, a humane mouse trap!
The trap, about 6 inchs long, is a square green plastic tube with a removable clip on cap at one end (where the bait goes) and the other a cunning little door, the tube is bent slightly into a V shape, and set down one one side, when the mouse enters, it tips up and the door closes and locks!!! Brilliant, I thought, This will certainly allow for the capture and interragation of the enemy.
Upon arriving home, I bair the trap as per instructions, and in place of the plate, setup the trap, Phase 2 is now totally underway. With the trap set I retreat for the day and wait patiently, At about 5pm, I check the trap - Nothing! well this is not too unextected, the enemy has proved itself to be dedicated to running night time raids!!!, So i would have to wait until much later that night.
Hours pass...
More hours pass....
Time to check the 'The Sting' location, I gently open the boot!!!!
The trap has moved!!!! It's on it's side!!! but the traps door is...
is.....
OPEN!!!
I check inside..... No mouse!!! and NO CHEESE!!! The ******* Stole the cheese and thwarted my capture attempt!!!!!
Hmmm, Obviously I had underenstimated my enemies abilities in escape and evade tactics. Ok time to rethink, The original plan is still a good one, however modifications are required. I has descovered the enemy had escaped because the trap door had not fully locked, and my getting the trap to fall on it's side, managed to open the door and escape!
Ok, This time, the plan will work, I bait and set the trap with some noce Stilton cheese (the same type of cheese that has been used up until now!!) I then place two bricks either side of the trap and one at the back end, ensureing that the trap was still free to opertate normally, but could not be tipped over. Right I thought, I've got you this time.
With the trap set I retreat for the night.
The next morning, I open the boot and check the trap....
The trap door is closed..... and locked....
YES, Finally the enemy has been caught, the trap had not fallen on its side and it was safe to assume the enemy had been successfully captured....
I picked up the trap, put it in a plastic bag and headed for the local park, 10 mins away by foot. The mouse would get it's freedome this time.
So i reach the park, I take the trap from the bag, and carefully open the trap door and prepare to release the POW into the wild......
The trap....
IS BLOODY EMPTY!!!!!
AND THE CHEESE IS GONE!!! AAAAAAAARGH!!!!
thwarted again!!!!! Very cunning I thought, but how!! The trap did not fall, the door was locked, but the cheese was gone, and mouse droppings were inside this time! How did it escape?!?!
s:
Right, I shall try once more, So that day the trap is set. Checked at night, no activity, hmmm, I go to bed. Next morning I check on the trap again. The door is closed again!!! This time rather than walking all the way to the park I decide to check there and then, Sure enough, the trap is empty, the cheese is gone!!!
The little....*******!!!!
Time to retreat to the war room and come up with a new stratagy.
Phase 3 - Lethal Force.
Later that day ()today that is) I return to the supply base for new weaponry, this time to KILL! This is IT!!! THIS IS ALL OUT WAR!!! The thought of just shoving a rag in the petrol cap and lighting it had crossed my mind - Blow the ****** up!!!
'We nuke the site from orbit, only way to be sure!'
hmmm, Dont think my dad will be best please!!! Ok, So the new weaponry, a mouse trap just like you see in the cartoons! the real back breaker!!! Made of metal of course, I also got a similar one made from plastic that would operate in the same way.
The plan was now in motion, I was now in the kitchen setting the trap, which by half an hour later had trapped and bruised my fingers far more that I would have liked!!! Cursing under my breath, cursing the little ******* as I continue to set the trap...
*CLICK*
*CHINCK*
*THWAACK*
followed by the predictable 'ARRRRRRGH &$&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
A few painful minutes later the traps are baited and ready, My fingers gave testemony to the power of the new weaponry, this was IT!! this was the FINAL SHOWDOWN!!!!
With my enemy unaware of my change in tactics, I placed the new traps in the boot, both of them!!! Just for good measure. And retreat for the day.
Many hours pass, Its late evening so I go to check on the new weapons. Nothing, not a damn thing! ok, I shall wait,
and wait I do,
Only an hour or two and go back to the battlefield to check, I open the boot!!!
I see the trap!!!
I see the cheese bait!!!
I see....
A MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAKE THAT YOU GOD DAMNED ******* EVADING ENEMY SCUM......
It's still moving!!!! At that point I could see the pain in it's small black eyes and felt sorry for the poor little blighter, I didn't want all this bloodshed, I thought 'Why didn't you just crwal in the damn humane trap and stay there when you had the chance!!!'
I couldn't leave my now thwarted enemy in this state, I did the only thing a person could do in that situation....
I dropped a rock on it's head!!!
Well, it's dead now, no longer suffering, I dispose of the enemy carcase in the bin, close the boot and head in to clean up the weapon that has caused my enemies demise.....
It was only two hours later that I remember the other mouse trap, I thought as my mission was now accomplished, there was no need, So i headed out to the now farmiliar battle field, I opened the boot, Looked at the trap and.....
ANOTHER BLOODY MOUSE!!!!!!! This time it WAS dead, so no need to get sentimental. So, the Mouse had an accomplis, was this how it managed to escape the traps before?!!! Was this mouse, laying dead in the jaws of the plastic trap, was this the mastermind behind the nighttime raids on the Cadburies roses?!?! Could there be more? How could I be sure?!?!?!
I am not sure, The victory is now uncertain,
The Mice may yet still occupy my territory!!!! So, A little before I started typing this, The traps were once again set on the bloody battlefield, Only time will tell if we got them all, we have to be sure......
To be continued....... (if there are more mice that is!!!)
about 3 hours later I went to retrieve the prezzies and take them in and wrap them, I opened the boot, the bag of prezzies was on one side of the boot, but from my alightly adventurous driving style the cadbury's roses has ended up on the other side of the boot, apart from that the boot was empty.
So i picked up the bag of boxes of choccies, and was just about to pick up the roses when I notived something wrong, HORRIDLY WRONG!!!!
The box.......... had a hole in the bottom!!!! beside the hole a neat little pile of chewed and shredded the cadbury's roses box!
MICE!!! AAARGH GODDAMN IT!!! I thought, bloddy little things!!!
I put the box inside a much large plastic box and took the rest in... after thouroughly inspecting them, no other damage to the other prezzies so all was safe for them to be wrapped.
I want back to the box of roses and carefully opening it, and tipped the contents into the larger plastic box, checking that nothing was left inside... empty! So there I was, slowly checking the contents of the roses box.... lots of half eaten and nibbled chocolates!!! but no other sign of the mice!!!
Ok, So the little ******* has scoffed his fat little face with MY CHOCOLATES!!! Right, it was time to devise the battle plan. Retreating to the war room (my bedroom
) I worked out what to do. Here is the plan of action I layed out.
1) Would not move car if possible as not to disturb them.
2) Know your enemy!!! The like chocolate, cheese, **** everywhere, and are a damn pain, but predictable, or so I thought....
3) The battle plane, phase 1 - Hearts and minds campaign. - To win the love and trust of the mouse by feeding it what it likes, get it nice and comfortable and use to a regular supply of nice scrumpshous food.
4) The battle Plan, phase 2 - capture and control - the following morning would require a humane mouse trap, some cheese and some patience.
The plan in action!
Ok, so before i would settle in for the evening I wqould start the Hearts and Minds campaign and get give the enemy some food. So i put a small plate upside down in the boot, and placed a small amount of cheese on it, then I retreated for a few hours and wait for signs of enemy activity in the area.
2 hours later, a quick recconasance mission, I carefully open the boot, the cheese had vanished! Right I thought, It now knows there is food about in the boot. I decide to put some more cheese down, and get the enemy used to what would soon become 'The Sting' location for capturing the ememy troops.
I retreat to bed for the night to speep over the coming days capture and control mission.
Xmas day - Yes, I realised this too, no bloody shops would be open!! argh!!!, ok, not to panic, I decide to continue with the hearts and minds campaign for a few more days that expected, until the required supplies can be obtained.
So over xmas day and boxing day the enemy mouse would glady stuff it's face with the cheese and chocolate I supplied it with. Little did it know it's days were numbered in the safety of the car.
Monday, Day after boxing day, CAPTURE AND CONTROL day!!!
In the early hours of the morning (well, 9:30, gotta wait for the shops to open) I rondevouz'd with the supply base (Homebase) and acquired the the supplies, a humane mouse trap!
The trap, about 6 inchs long, is a square green plastic tube with a removable clip on cap at one end (where the bait goes) and the other a cunning little door, the tube is bent slightly into a V shape, and set down one one side, when the mouse enters, it tips up and the door closes and locks!!! Brilliant, I thought, This will certainly allow for the capture and interragation of the enemy.
Upon arriving home, I bair the trap as per instructions, and in place of the plate, setup the trap, Phase 2 is now totally underway. With the trap set I retreat for the day and wait patiently, At about 5pm, I check the trap - Nothing! well this is not too unextected, the enemy has proved itself to be dedicated to running night time raids!!!, So i would have to wait until much later that night.
Hours pass...
More hours pass....
Time to check the 'The Sting' location, I gently open the boot!!!!
The trap has moved!!!! It's on it's side!!! but the traps door is...
is.....
OPEN!!!
I check inside..... No mouse!!! and NO CHEESE!!! The ******* Stole the cheese and thwarted my capture attempt!!!!!
Hmmm, Obviously I had underenstimated my enemies abilities in escape and evade tactics. Ok time to rethink, The original plan is still a good one, however modifications are required. I has descovered the enemy had escaped because the trap door had not fully locked, and my getting the trap to fall on it's side, managed to open the door and escape!
Ok, This time, the plan will work, I bait and set the trap with some noce Stilton cheese (the same type of cheese that has been used up until now!!) I then place two bricks either side of the trap and one at the back end, ensureing that the trap was still free to opertate normally, but could not be tipped over. Right I thought, I've got you this time.
With the trap set I retreat for the night.
The next morning, I open the boot and check the trap....
The trap door is closed..... and locked....
YES, Finally the enemy has been caught, the trap had not fallen on its side and it was safe to assume the enemy had been successfully captured....
I picked up the trap, put it in a plastic bag and headed for the local park, 10 mins away by foot. The mouse would get it's freedome this time.
So i reach the park, I take the trap from the bag, and carefully open the trap door and prepare to release the POW into the wild......
The trap....
IS BLOODY EMPTY!!!!!
AND THE CHEESE IS GONE!!! AAAAAAAARGH!!!!
thwarted again!!!!! Very cunning I thought, but how!! The trap did not fall, the door was locked, but the cheese was gone, and mouse droppings were inside this time! How did it escape?!?!
s:Right, I shall try once more, So that day the trap is set. Checked at night, no activity, hmmm, I go to bed. Next morning I check on the trap again. The door is closed again!!! This time rather than walking all the way to the park I decide to check there and then, Sure enough, the trap is empty, the cheese is gone!!!
The little....*******!!!!
Time to retreat to the war room and come up with a new stratagy.
Phase 3 - Lethal Force.
Later that day ()today that is) I return to the supply base for new weaponry, this time to KILL! This is IT!!! THIS IS ALL OUT WAR!!! The thought of just shoving a rag in the petrol cap and lighting it had crossed my mind - Blow the ****** up!!!
'We nuke the site from orbit, only way to be sure!'
hmmm, Dont think my dad will be best please!!! Ok, So the new weaponry, a mouse trap just like you see in the cartoons! the real back breaker!!! Made of metal of course, I also got a similar one made from plastic that would operate in the same way.
The plan was now in motion, I was now in the kitchen setting the trap, which by half an hour later had trapped and bruised my fingers far more that I would have liked!!! Cursing under my breath, cursing the little ******* as I continue to set the trap...
*CLICK*
*CHINCK*
*THWAACK*
followed by the predictable 'ARRRRRRGH &$&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
A few painful minutes later the traps are baited and ready, My fingers gave testemony to the power of the new weaponry, this was IT!! this was the FINAL SHOWDOWN!!!!
With my enemy unaware of my change in tactics, I placed the new traps in the boot, both of them!!! Just for good measure. And retreat for the day.
Many hours pass, Its late evening so I go to check on the new weapons. Nothing, not a damn thing! ok, I shall wait,
and wait I do,
Only an hour or two and go back to the battlefield to check, I open the boot!!!
I see the trap!!!
I see the cheese bait!!!
I see....
A MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAKE THAT YOU GOD DAMNED ******* EVADING ENEMY SCUM......
It's still moving!!!! At that point I could see the pain in it's small black eyes and felt sorry for the poor little blighter, I didn't want all this bloodshed, I thought 'Why didn't you just crwal in the damn humane trap and stay there when you had the chance!!!'
I couldn't leave my now thwarted enemy in this state, I did the only thing a person could do in that situation....
I dropped a rock on it's head!!!
Well, it's dead now, no longer suffering, I dispose of the enemy carcase in the bin, close the boot and head in to clean up the weapon that has caused my enemies demise.....
It was only two hours later that I remember the other mouse trap, I thought as my mission was now accomplished, there was no need, So i headed out to the now farmiliar battle field, I opened the boot, Looked at the trap and.....
ANOTHER BLOODY MOUSE!!!!!!! This time it WAS dead, so no need to get sentimental. So, the Mouse had an accomplis, was this how it managed to escape the traps before?!!! Was this mouse, laying dead in the jaws of the plastic trap, was this the mastermind behind the nighttime raids on the Cadburies roses?!?! Could there be more? How could I be sure?!?!?!
I am not sure, The victory is now uncertain,
The Mice may yet still occupy my territory!!!! So, A little before I started typing this, The traps were once again set on the bloody battlefield, Only time will tell if we got them all, we have to be sure......
To be continued....... (if there are more mice that is!!!)
29 December 2004, 11:59 PM
#2
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You killed Mr Jingles??!!
Just wait until John Coffey gets you!
Seriously though... I always tell people not to bother with humane traps, they are useless! (but I guess you know that already )
Just wait until John Coffey gets you!
Seriously though... I always tell people not to bother with humane traps, they are useless! (but I guess you know that already
)
30 December 2004, 12:35 AM
#7
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next time you must post a warning in your title like this http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=...corn_lg_clr.gi
thanks
thanks
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30 December 2004, 12:41 AM
#8
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Hey Simes777, Are you a mouse accomplise? No i didn't watch mousetrap,
And here's proof, sorry i wrote slim777 on the paper lol
The volvo:
The Traps:
The Enemy:
And here's proof, sorry i wrote slim777 on the paper lol
The volvo:
The Traps:
The Enemy:
30 December 2004, 12:42 AM
#9
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Hello
I bought three different "humane" traps. I thought that I had some sort of genius mouse on my hands as it actually managed to take the chocolate and in one instance the artificial cheese in the humane trap without being caught.
I then spent some incredibly small amount of money (in comparision) on a normal mouse trap and caught the poor little thing 15 minutes after setting it.
Steve.
I bought three different "humane" traps. I thought that I had some sort of genius mouse on my hands as it actually managed to take the chocolate and in one instance the artificial cheese in the humane trap without being caught.
I then spent some incredibly small amount of money (in comparision) on a normal mouse trap and caught the poor little thing 15 minutes after setting it.
Steve.
30 December 2004, 12:45 AM
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Originally Posted by ajm
You killed Mr Jingles??!!
Just wait until John Coffey gets you!
Seriously though... I always tell people not to bother with humane traps, they are useless! (but I guess you know that already )
Just wait until John Coffey gets you!
Seriously though... I always tell people not to bother with humane traps, they are useless! (but I guess you know that already
)
30 December 2004, 01:13 AM
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Originally Posted by EvilKyote
It all started xmas eve, I borrowed my dads old volvo to go to asda to get some xmas pressents, I bought a Jumbo Tolblerone (sp), a box of Cadbury's Roses, a box of quality street and a few other items. I got home and went inside leaving the pressies in the boot forgotten about.
about 3 hours later I went to retrieve the prezzies and take them in and wrap them, I opened the boot, the bag of prezzies was on one side of the boot, but from my alightly adventurous driving style the cadbury's roses has ended up on the other side of the boot, apart from that the boot was empty.
So i picked up the bag of boxes of choccies, and was just about to pick up the roses when I notived something wrong, HORRIDLY WRONG!!!!
The box.......... had a hole in the bottom!!!! beside the hole a neat little pile of chewed and shredded the cadbury's roses box!
MICE!!! AAARGH GODDAMN IT!!! I thought, bloddy little things!!!
I put the box inside a much large plastic box and took the rest in... after thouroughly inspecting them, no other damage to the other prezzies so all was safe for them to be wrapped.
I want back to the box of roses and carefully opening it, and tipped the contents into the larger plastic box, checking that nothing was left inside... empty! So there I was, slowly checking the contents of the roses box.... lots of half eaten and nibbled chocolates!!! but no other sign of the mice!!!
Ok, So the little ******* has scoffed his fat little face with MY CHOCOLATES!!! Right, it was time to devise the battle plan. Retreating to the war room (my bedroom) I worked out what to do.
Here is the plan of action I layed out.
1) Would not move car if possible as not to disturb them.
2) Know your enemy!!! The like chocolate, cheese, **** everywhere, and are a damn pain, but predictable, or so I thought....
3) The battle plane, phase 1 - Hearts and minds campaign. - To win the love and trust of the mouse by feeding it what it likes, get it nice and comfortable and use to a regular supply of nice scrumpshous food.
4) The battle Plan, phase 2 - capture and control - the following morning would require a humane mouse trap, some cheese and some patience.
The plan in action!
Ok, so before i would settle in for the evening I wqould start the Hearts and Minds campaign and get give the enemy some food. So i put a small plate upside down in the boot, and placed a small amount of cheese on it, then I retreated for a few hours and wait for signs of enemy activity in the area.
2 hours later, a quick recconasance mission, I carefully open the boot, the cheese had vanished! Right I thought, It now knows there is food about in the boot. I decide to put some more cheese down, and get the enemy used to what would soon become 'The Sting' location for capturing the ememy troops.
I retreat to bed for the night to speep over the coming days capture and control mission.
Xmas day - Yes, I realised this too, no bloody shops would be open!! argh!!!, ok, not to panic, I decide to continue with the hearts and minds campaign for a few more days that expected, until the required supplies can be obtained.
So over xmas day and boxing day the enemy mouse would glady stuff it's face with the cheese and chocolate I supplied it with. Little did it know it's days were numbered in the safety of the car.
Monday, Day after boxing day, CAPTURE AND CONTROL day!!!
In the early hours of the morning (well, 9:30, gotta wait for the shops to open) I rondevouz'd with the supply base (Homebase) and acquired the the supplies, a humane mouse trap!
The trap, about 6 inchs long, is a square green plastic tube with a removable clip on cap at one end (where the bait goes) and the other a cunning little door, the tube is bent slightly into a V shape, and set down one one side, when the mouse enters, it tips up and the door closes and locks!!! Brilliant, I thought, This will certainly allow for the capture and interragation of the enemy.
Upon arriving home, I bair the trap as per instructions, and in place of the plate, setup the trap, Phase 2 is now totally underway. With the trap set I retreat for the day and wait patiently, At about 5pm, I check the trap - Nothing! well this is not too unextected, the enemy has proved itself to be dedicated to running night time raids!!!, So i would have to wait until much later that night.
Hours pass...
More hours pass....
Time to check the 'The Sting' location, I gently open the boot!!!!
The trap has moved!!!! It's on it's side!!! but the traps door is...
is.....
OPEN!!!
I check inside..... No mouse!!! and NO CHEESE!!! The ******* Stole the cheese and thwarted my capture attempt!!!!!
Hmmm, Obviously I had underenstimated my enemies abilities in escape and evade tactics. Ok time to rethink, The original plan is still a good one, however modifications are required. I has descovered the enemy had escaped because the trap door had not fully locked, and my getting the trap to fall on it's side, managed to open the door and escape!
Ok, This time, the plan will work, I bait and set the trap with some noce Stilton cheese (the same type of cheese that has been used up until now!!) I then place two bricks either side of the trap and one at the back end, ensureing that the trap was still free to opertate normally, but could not be tipped over. Right I thought, I've got you this time.
With the trap set I retreat for the night.
The next morning, I open the boot and check the trap....
The trap door is closed..... and locked....
YES, Finally the enemy has been caught, the trap had not fallen on its side and it was safe to assume the enemy had been successfully captured....
I picked up the trap, put it in a plastic bag and headed for the local park, 10 mins away by foot. The mouse would get it's freedome this time.
So i reach the park, I take the trap from the bag, and carefully open the trap door and prepare to release the POW into the wild......
The trap....
IS BLOODY EMPTY!!!!!
AND THE CHEESE IS GONE!!! AAAAAAAARGH!!!!
thwarted again!!!!! Very cunning I thought, but how!! The trap did not fall, the door was locked, but the cheese was gone, and mouse droppings were inside this time! How did it escape?!?!s:
Right, I shall try once more, So that day the trap is set. Checked at night, no activity, hmmm, I go to bed. Next morning I check on the trap again. The door is closed again!!! This time rather than walking all the way to the park I decide to check there and then, Sure enough, the trap is empty, the cheese is gone!!!
The little....*******!!!!
Time to retreat to the war room and come up with a new stratagy.
Phase 3 - Lethal Force.
Later that day ()today that is) I return to the supply base for new weaponry, this time to KILL! This is IT!!! THIS IS ALL OUT WAR!!! The thought of just shoving a rag in the petrol cap and lighting it had crossed my mind - Blow the ****** up!!!
'We nuke the site from orbit, only way to be sure!'
hmmm, Dont think my dad will be best please!!! Ok, So the new weaponry, a mouse trap just like you see in the cartoons! the real back breaker!!! Made of metal of course, I also got a similar one made from plastic that would operate in the same way.
The plan was now in motion, I was now in the kitchen setting the trap, which by half an hour later had trapped and bruised my fingers far more that I would have liked!!! Cursing under my breath, cursing the little ******* as I continue to set the trap...
*CLICK*
*CHINCK*
*THWAACK*
followed by the predictable 'ARRRRRRGH &$&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
A few painful minutes later the traps are baited and ready, My fingers gave testemony to the power of the new weaponry, this was IT!! this was the FINAL SHOWDOWN!!!!
With my enemy unaware of my change in tactics, I placed the new traps in the boot, both of them!!! Just for good measure. And retreat for the day.
Many hours pass, Its late evening so I go to check on the new weapons. Nothing, not a damn thing! ok, I shall wait,
and wait I do,
Only an hour or two and go back to the battlefield to check, I open the boot!!!
I see the trap!!!
I see the cheese bait!!!
I see....
A MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAKE THAT YOU GOD DAMNED ******* EVADING ENEMY SCUM......
It's still moving!!!! At that point I could see the pain in it's small black eyes and felt sorry for the poor little blighter, I didn't want all this bloodshed, I thought 'Why didn't you just crwal in the damn humane trap and stay there when you had the chance!!!'
I couldn't leave my now thwarted enemy in this state, I did the only thing a person could do in that situation....
I dropped a rock on it's head!!!
Well, it's dead now, no longer suffering, I dispose of the enemy carcase in the bin, close the boot and head in to clean up the weapon that has caused my enemies demise.....
It was only two hours later that I remember the other mouse trap, I thought as my mission was now accomplished, there was no need, So i headed out to the now farmiliar battle field, I opened the boot, Looked at the trap and.....
ANOTHER BLOODY MOUSE!!!!!!! This time it WAS dead, so no need to get sentimental. So, the Mouse had an accomplis, was this how it managed to escape the traps before?!!! Was this mouse, laying dead in the jaws of the plastic trap, was this the mastermind behind the nighttime raids on the Cadburies roses?!?! Could there be more? How could I be sure?!?!?!
I am not sure, The victory is now uncertain,
The Mice may yet still occupy my territory!!!! So, A little before I started typing this, The traps were once again set on the bloody battlefield, Only time will tell if we got them all, we have to be sure......
To be continued....... (if there are more mice that is!!!)
about 3 hours later I went to retrieve the prezzies and take them in and wrap them, I opened the boot, the bag of prezzies was on one side of the boot, but from my alightly adventurous driving style the cadbury's roses has ended up on the other side of the boot, apart from that the boot was empty.
So i picked up the bag of boxes of choccies, and was just about to pick up the roses when I notived something wrong, HORRIDLY WRONG!!!!
The box.......... had a hole in the bottom!!!! beside the hole a neat little pile of chewed and shredded the cadbury's roses box!
MICE!!! AAARGH GODDAMN IT!!! I thought, bloddy little things!!!
I put the box inside a much large plastic box and took the rest in... after thouroughly inspecting them, no other damage to the other prezzies so all was safe for them to be wrapped.
I want back to the box of roses and carefully opening it, and tipped the contents into the larger plastic box, checking that nothing was left inside... empty! So there I was, slowly checking the contents of the roses box.... lots of half eaten and nibbled chocolates!!! but no other sign of the mice!!!
Ok, So the little ******* has scoffed his fat little face with MY CHOCOLATES!!! Right, it was time to devise the battle plan. Retreating to the war room (my bedroom
) I worked out what to do. Here is the plan of action I layed out.
1) Would not move car if possible as not to disturb them.
2) Know your enemy!!! The like chocolate, cheese, **** everywhere, and are a damn pain, but predictable, or so I thought....
3) The battle plane, phase 1 - Hearts and minds campaign. - To win the love and trust of the mouse by feeding it what it likes, get it nice and comfortable and use to a regular supply of nice scrumpshous food.
4) The battle Plan, phase 2 - capture and control - the following morning would require a humane mouse trap, some cheese and some patience.
The plan in action!
Ok, so before i would settle in for the evening I wqould start the Hearts and Minds campaign and get give the enemy some food. So i put a small plate upside down in the boot, and placed a small amount of cheese on it, then I retreated for a few hours and wait for signs of enemy activity in the area.
2 hours later, a quick recconasance mission, I carefully open the boot, the cheese had vanished! Right I thought, It now knows there is food about in the boot. I decide to put some more cheese down, and get the enemy used to what would soon become 'The Sting' location for capturing the ememy troops.
I retreat to bed for the night to speep over the coming days capture and control mission.
Xmas day - Yes, I realised this too, no bloody shops would be open!! argh!!!, ok, not to panic, I decide to continue with the hearts and minds campaign for a few more days that expected, until the required supplies can be obtained.
So over xmas day and boxing day the enemy mouse would glady stuff it's face with the cheese and chocolate I supplied it with. Little did it know it's days were numbered in the safety of the car.
Monday, Day after boxing day, CAPTURE AND CONTROL day!!!
In the early hours of the morning (well, 9:30, gotta wait for the shops to open) I rondevouz'd with the supply base (Homebase) and acquired the the supplies, a humane mouse trap!
The trap, about 6 inchs long, is a square green plastic tube with a removable clip on cap at one end (where the bait goes) and the other a cunning little door, the tube is bent slightly into a V shape, and set down one one side, when the mouse enters, it tips up and the door closes and locks!!! Brilliant, I thought, This will certainly allow for the capture and interragation of the enemy.
Upon arriving home, I bair the trap as per instructions, and in place of the plate, setup the trap, Phase 2 is now totally underway. With the trap set I retreat for the day and wait patiently, At about 5pm, I check the trap - Nothing! well this is not too unextected, the enemy has proved itself to be dedicated to running night time raids!!!, So i would have to wait until much later that night.
Hours pass...
More hours pass....
Time to check the 'The Sting' location, I gently open the boot!!!!
The trap has moved!!!! It's on it's side!!! but the traps door is...
is.....
OPEN!!!
I check inside..... No mouse!!! and NO CHEESE!!! The ******* Stole the cheese and thwarted my capture attempt!!!!!
Hmmm, Obviously I had underenstimated my enemies abilities in escape and evade tactics. Ok time to rethink, The original plan is still a good one, however modifications are required. I has descovered the enemy had escaped because the trap door had not fully locked, and my getting the trap to fall on it's side, managed to open the door and escape!
Ok, This time, the plan will work, I bait and set the trap with some noce Stilton cheese (the same type of cheese that has been used up until now!!) I then place two bricks either side of the trap and one at the back end, ensureing that the trap was still free to opertate normally, but could not be tipped over. Right I thought, I've got you this time.
With the trap set I retreat for the night.
The next morning, I open the boot and check the trap....
The trap door is closed..... and locked....
YES, Finally the enemy has been caught, the trap had not fallen on its side and it was safe to assume the enemy had been successfully captured....
I picked up the trap, put it in a plastic bag and headed for the local park, 10 mins away by foot. The mouse would get it's freedome this time.
So i reach the park, I take the trap from the bag, and carefully open the trap door and prepare to release the POW into the wild......
The trap....
IS BLOODY EMPTY!!!!!
AND THE CHEESE IS GONE!!! AAAAAAAARGH!!!!
thwarted again!!!!! Very cunning I thought, but how!! The trap did not fall, the door was locked, but the cheese was gone, and mouse droppings were inside this time! How did it escape?!?!
s:Right, I shall try once more, So that day the trap is set. Checked at night, no activity, hmmm, I go to bed. Next morning I check on the trap again. The door is closed again!!! This time rather than walking all the way to the park I decide to check there and then, Sure enough, the trap is empty, the cheese is gone!!!
The little....*******!!!!
Time to retreat to the war room and come up with a new stratagy.
Phase 3 - Lethal Force.
Later that day ()today that is) I return to the supply base for new weaponry, this time to KILL! This is IT!!! THIS IS ALL OUT WAR!!! The thought of just shoving a rag in the petrol cap and lighting it had crossed my mind - Blow the ****** up!!!
'We nuke the site from orbit, only way to be sure!'
hmmm, Dont think my dad will be best please!!! Ok, So the new weaponry, a mouse trap just like you see in the cartoons! the real back breaker!!! Made of metal of course, I also got a similar one made from plastic that would operate in the same way.
The plan was now in motion, I was now in the kitchen setting the trap, which by half an hour later had trapped and bruised my fingers far more that I would have liked!!! Cursing under my breath, cursing the little ******* as I continue to set the trap...
*CLICK*
*CHINCK*
*THWAACK*
followed by the predictable 'ARRRRRRGH &$&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
A few painful minutes later the traps are baited and ready, My fingers gave testemony to the power of the new weaponry, this was IT!! this was the FINAL SHOWDOWN!!!!
With my enemy unaware of my change in tactics, I placed the new traps in the boot, both of them!!! Just for good measure. And retreat for the day.
Many hours pass, Its late evening so I go to check on the new weapons. Nothing, not a damn thing! ok, I shall wait,
and wait I do,
Only an hour or two and go back to the battlefield to check, I open the boot!!!
I see the trap!!!
I see the cheese bait!!!
I see....
A MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAKE THAT YOU GOD DAMNED ******* EVADING ENEMY SCUM......
It's still moving!!!! At that point I could see the pain in it's small black eyes and felt sorry for the poor little blighter, I didn't want all this bloodshed, I thought 'Why didn't you just crwal in the damn humane trap and stay there when you had the chance!!!'
I couldn't leave my now thwarted enemy in this state, I did the only thing a person could do in that situation....
I dropped a rock on it's head!!!
Well, it's dead now, no longer suffering, I dispose of the enemy carcase in the bin, close the boot and head in to clean up the weapon that has caused my enemies demise.....
It was only two hours later that I remember the other mouse trap, I thought as my mission was now accomplished, there was no need, So i headed out to the now farmiliar battle field, I opened the boot, Looked at the trap and.....
ANOTHER BLOODY MOUSE!!!!!!! This time it WAS dead, so no need to get sentimental. So, the Mouse had an accomplis, was this how it managed to escape the traps before?!!! Was this mouse, laying dead in the jaws of the plastic trap, was this the mastermind behind the nighttime raids on the Cadburies roses?!?! Could there be more? How could I be sure?!?!?!
I am not sure, The victory is now uncertain,
The Mice may yet still occupy my territory!!!! So, A little before I started typing this, The traps were once again set on the bloody battlefield, Only time will tell if we got them all, we have to be sure......
To be continued....... (if there are more mice that is!!!)
Perhaps you should consider a career as a 'man' one day, longer after puberty has left you.
30 December 2004, 01:26 AM
#17
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Originally Posted by CoobyS
Hmmm...you need to get out just a little bit more.
Perhaps you should consider a career as a 'man' one day, longer after puberty has left you.
Perhaps you should consider a career as a 'man' one day, longer after puberty has left you.
30 December 2004, 08:46 AM
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This is one of the funniest threads Ive read on SN Even with pictures to prove it. Sure a future classic!
Poor little mites - I'm a hamster fan so its OK.
As for the one you found dead - all I can think of it 'Death by Chocolate'..... luvverly!
Even with pictures to prove it. Sure a future classic!Poor little mites - I'm a hamster fan so its OK.
As for the one you found dead - all I can think of it 'Death by Chocolate'..... luvverly!
30 December 2004, 09:03 AM
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Easy method for next time, get an adhesive sheet type of mouse trap (from a farming supplies place) and plonk a quality street choccy in the middle of it.
Deadly effective
Sorry mice
Deadly effective
Sorry mice
30 December 2004, 11:14 AM
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LOL
But why so much trouble for a
Volvo
And a shed at that
All
When replying please quote the thread like some other muppet, one reply per page. Can see this being the longest thread ever
But why so much trouble for a
Volvo
And a shed at that
All
When replying please quote the thread like some other muppet, one reply per page. Can see this being the longest thread ever
30 December 2004, 11:36 AM
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You're just lucky it was'nt a weasel as you'd never get a horse in the back of a Volvo.
BTW don't anyone bother posting the phote of the horses a%^e sticking out the baby merc. SIAL
Alas
BTW don't anyone bother posting the phote of the horses a%^e sticking out the baby merc. SIAL
Alas
30 December 2004, 11:44 AM
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i had much the same problem a few years ago, cheese is the weak link, mice can remove it easily from the traps.
five attempts and the mouse won!!
we used bread in the end, and made sure it was pushed down hard on the trap, captured first time, found the mouse with its head caved in and its eyeballs about 5 cms from its skull. itchy and scratchy style.
bit in-humane, but anything that wants to hang out with my cornflakes and wash itself in my food needs to be prepared.........
five attempts and the mouse won!!
we used bread in the end, and made sure it was pushed down hard on the trap, captured first time, found the mouse with its head caved in and its eyeballs about 5 cms from its skull. itchy and scratchy style.
bit in-humane, but anything that wants to hang out with my cornflakes and wash itself in my food needs to be prepared.........
30 December 2004, 01:02 PM
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A good trick if you're using the old traditional type of mousetrap. Heat up the metal pin that you're supposed to put the bait on, and push a bit of chocolate (cadburys buttons work) onto it so it goes through and melts. Then when it cools the chocolate is fixed firmly onto the pin, much harder for the mouse to pinch without setting the trap off.
30 December 2004, 02:02 PM
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What a peach of a story..... I've sent it on to my bro who very simply caught his said mouse in said humane trap and took it for a drive in the country to release it....very boring compared to your story !
We caught 3 mice in our garage recently then heard that some friends were having a similar problem. We were SOOOOOOOO tempted to replace their trap with one of ours with all three corpses in it.......
We caught 3 mice in our garage recently then heard that some friends were having a similar problem. We were SOOOOOOOO tempted to replace their trap with one of ours with all three corpses in it.......