Taken from this months Car Magazine supplement. Probably heard most of these before, but they still make me laugh

"I had been shopping for plants and was on my home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car"

"What warning was given by you? Horn"
"What warning was given by the other party? Moo"

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought"

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? Travelled by bus"

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished"

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke"

"The other car collided with mine without warning of its intention"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone poll"

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"Windscreen broken. Cause Unknown. Probably voodoo"

 

Class

 

PMSL

 

pmsl

i almost choked on my tea

 

Must be 20 yrs since I first saw some of them. Still funny though

Chip.

 

Yeah I know The cow one did make me laugh as well

 

actually i saw that in a sunday paper 2 weeks ago,
did car mag nick 'em from paper?

 

Where's Jasper Carrott when you need him?

"I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found I had a fractured skull."

 

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the bonnet of my car

 

i was listening to that jasper carrot CD yesterday!

class, fun to read on a monday mornin!!!

 

Was there no claim form for a Waterlogged Subaru Impreza ?

 

One quote was:

"On looking at my mother in law I headed over the embankment"

 

2 more

I reversed out of my drive and hit a bus.........the bus was 10 MINUTES LATE!!!!

The pedestrian didn't know which way to run, so I ran over him.