andrewdelvard

About 2 years ago now My girls Dad died. I guess a lot of you have experienced how this can change everything. I mean it's so life changing and the feelings you have, the changes you go through, inside, are so unexpected. I kind of said goodbye to my youth, (or thats how it felt anyway) and began a new chapter in mine and Rachels life.
I gave up my job in London, Rachel gave up hers in Northampton and we moved to Devon so we could be nearer her Mum. Now I can't stand the bitch, but if it made Rachel happier then so be it. Rachel found a new position as a teacher and I began my own business. It's been hard but I think it's starting to come together. I miss having a sports car. Miss polishing it, driving it, just...having it, Seeing it in the morning and when I park it up in a supermarket carpark, looking at it after walking a few steps and smiling to myself that I love it so much.
I've reaslly been missing all of that. Even the Optimax bills. But what can you do? You've just got to work hard until the day arrives and the dosh is there....
We've never had a garden before. Always lived in flats. We've bought this bugalow and we love it. It's got a garden. A few months ago I planted about 20 sunflower seeds. Never plalted anything before in my life. About 10 came up. 6 got eaten/died. The last 4 I looked after like a right pansy. It's been kind of like having a replacement for the car, you know? Watered them, fed them phosprogen, picked bugs of them and watched them grow. Can't tell you how much fun it's been. A flower appeared yesterday and I was rewarded with this



The satisfaction didn't feel any different to when I used to spend hours detailing and polishing the car. I walked upto the flower head and watched this bee do it's work...Well I tell you I smiled such a smile that I've not felt for years. It made me feel so happy
I guess in some ways it stopped me thinking about her Dads death and the approaching death of my Dad from Cancer just for a little while. Made me feel happy again like I'd forgotten how to feel for quite sometime.
I know it's not much but I just thought I share that. Thought it was nice.

RON

I know it sounds corney, but it just goes to show that little things can make a big difference!

Madjay2

hahaha man see what u just wrote, has inspired me in a way.

thank you

StickyMicky

lol, what ever floats your boat i suppose

Sbradley

Nice one. I see nothing wimpy in what you've said or done.

Unless you're wearing marigolds when you do the gardening, of course

SB

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

I tend to my growing grass

It does give a me a sense of fulfilment and rewards me with happiness

MooseRacer

LOL at that

Mrs Moose lost her dad last year and it does make you re-evaluate things. Sorry to read about your Dad too.


Nice flower too

Scott E Dog

Nice flower mate Keep yer chin up - sounds like you are a good chap on the right track

Soulgirl

she needed to be near her Mother because her Father died. You dont feel the same pull and why should you. Psych is a strange thing indeed especially if you are estranged from the centre of that psych that pulls you.. Ooooh.. thats a bit deep init.

Your partner feels she has to be close to her mother as her mum is missing the closest thing she had before he died. Her daughter is the next best thing. Human life is one big circle... we start out needing everyone, to needing no-one to needing everyone again.

I hope my kids feel the need to look after me when I require it

tiggers

You deserve a pat on the back just for having the ***** to post that on here.

Good luck mate - sounds like you and Rachel are on the right track.

Best regards,

tiggers.

Soulgirl

And.. did you grow that red sunflower? That is amazing!

scoobchrissy

iTrader: (1)

PMSL

amber nectar

Here Here

druddle

Top one Andrew. My particular passion apart from cars and music is my tomato, sweetcorn and courgette plants. This year i am expecting a bumper tomato harvest thanks to Tomorite tomato feed !!!!

Dave

Leslie

Thanks for posting that Andrew, I enjoyed reading it and understand exactly how you feel.

You have done all the right things and things will eventually turn around and go your way just as you want them to. You deserve it.

Great sunflower too!

Les

Diablo

Great post mate

And never a truer word said. Sometimes crap has to happen before we realise that material things are, in fact immaterial.

Life is short (and too short for many) - yet still we waste it.

Wimp, not one bit. That post shows more guts than many who post on this BBS will ever have.

D

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Thanks for sharing that matey, what a lovely post

Wimp? No way! As Diablo (and others) have said, your post shows more guts than many who post on here.

Btw, my mum grew those sunflowers last summer and they are truly magnificent plants.

Sal

TelBoy

I was at Sissinghurst yesterday - glorious weather, magnificent garden, excellent day out.

If there's an ounce of appreciation of flora in your body, get down there with a picnic. Inspirational!

Apparition

If you are a youngster then good on you mate..... it took me 50 years to discover what you have. Life is so much richer for it.

unclebuck

Try tomatoes next year. You get the satisfaction of eating what you've grown, and they taste so much better than the ones in the shops.

UB

SomeDude

Good post and I know exactly what you mean.

I always lived without a garden until 8 years ago, and it has almost become an addiction to make stuff grow Funny, as before I couldn't care less about that daft garden/plants thing, and I couldn't understand people like my mum (bless) having so much dedication towards her plants.

I do now.

You'll get hooked in no time

Boro

iTrader: (1)

If id read that 6 months ago, i wouldnt have got it. But now, im with you 100%. I missed my scoob alot and other materialistic i once had. They dont mean a thing in the great scheme of things.

Sounds like you know whats important, hang onto it cos somethings money cant buy.

scoobynutta555

I've previously never done any gardening in my life.This year I thought I'd do something to the **** pit of a rear courtyard type laid to concrete 'garden' in one of my houses.

I have learnt a lot in the past few months, and will be applying that to next year. I think next year will look a lot better than the shown efforts, as this year is a sort of testing the water.

I totally agree with the comments along the lines of how satisfying it is to see what you have planted, and blooming, especially the part where bees and such flit from flower to flower.

I know compared to a proper garden, my efforts pale in comparison, but I'm quite happy with my first few steps

paulr

When does the "needing no-one " bit trigger in.You always need someone.

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

I think it's more accurate to say 'thinking you need no one'

Just to add my own personal note - bit of a wimp my ****.

You're gaining satisfaction and joy from achievement. Real achievement.

At the end of the day you can turn 'round and say "I did that", and frankly there is no better feeling - and you can apply it to so many things... being married to the perfect woman for you, having children, being happy with yourself.

You did that. Great isn't it?

andrewdelvard

Yes. I did :sticks chest out:

Some great comments and suggestions posted here, some directed at me for which I thank you very much
scoobynutta555. Looks fantastic mate. Imagine how dull it would look without them? Good job.

ProperCharlie

since we moved into a house, i've got quite into a bit of gardening myself. the garden was a tip when we moved in, put now i've got a lawn down and the place is starting to look quite nice. never thought i'd be the sort to tend the lawn obsessively, but...

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

best of both worlds, put the flower in a pot, tarmac over the garden and turn it into a garage, hire this out and put the proceeds to buying a scooby

only joking fair play to you mate, i can't even grow hair properly, so i'd have no chance nuturing something from a seed!

Drunken Bungle Whore

Wow - how nice to see a thread that so completely ties in with my tree hugging hippie philosohpies! Thank you! I think a lot of my re evaluation of life started whne my Dad died 2 days before my 19th birthday in 1987b(I'm now 37 for those of you who were doing the maths! ). I have had a really cr@p 2 years, but no one died, and NOTHING can EVER be worse than when my dad died.

It might be a long tome ago but it never goes away. That's why I'm such a hippy on so many threads - I still can't understand why people get so wound up over such trivial things.

Next time you get stressed, fast forward your life to your deathbed. Look back and what do you make of it all?

Nuff said.

X

sti-04!!

I agree, being only 24 & with basically the world being not far off my oyster its soooooooooo to short, i live life to the full every day & love it

Also really nice thread, you must have guts to do that

All the best my friend

Stephen