prodriva

Been suffering from this for a good ten years and have had some real bad times because of it. I have recently been fairly ok when events have come up but I have to go to London tomorrow on a site visit and I've been feeling really ill for the past couple of days. Work is aware of things but they have never dealt with anything like this before.

I have read about breathing exercises etc, and was wondering if any of you guys know any good hints/tips to give me.

I seem to recall chatting to Saxoboy many moons ago about this so if your out there mate???

girlscoob

try http://www.anxietypanic.com/ - it's got loads of good info. Good luck tomorrow - let us know how you get on!

prodriva

Thanks girlscoob, will give the link a look later.

Do you get this also?

girlscoob

no, but have a good friend who does - fine one minute, very outgoing and bubbly, then something triggers her off and she changes completely.

prodriva

Send her my regards, I know exactly how she feels.

girlscoob

will do

MJW

Breathing exercise. Not sure if its effective as Xanax, but got to be worth a shot ..

Good luck with the site visit.

David Lock

Someone close to me has/had a similar problem for years. Finally plucked up courage and went to docs. Now has some pills which made a real difference in boosting confidence and can now tackle things in much more assertive way. So talk to doc - lots of people are effected. Good luck. DL

SiPie

Prodriva

Suffered for 12 years myself mate (depression/panic attacks/agoraphobia) and thankfully all fixed now (with the odd bad day occasionally )

The best advice I can give you is to go along to a decent bookshop and buy a book called 'Self Help for your Nerves' or 'Peace from Nervous Suffering' by Dr Claire Weekes. Read it tonight (or as much of it as you can) and trust me.... you'll feel a whole lot better on your site visit tomorrow.. as it was like a breath of fresh air to me She has a totally different view to treating panic etc and IT WORKS

There is so much pure nonsense written out there on this subject but the above books should be treated as the panic/anxiety bible IMHO.

Secondly, If you have been suffering for 10 years without getting any help then I strongly advise that you do so ASAP as the effects are cumulative (unfortunately in a negative way) and if you are worried about a trip to London then you are potentially just a few steps away from developing agoraphobia which you seriously don't want

Make an appointment with a good cognitive therapist if you haven't been down that road already and if that hasn't helped you in the past then it may be worth checking out http://www.exclusivehypnotherapy.co.uk which helped me sort my life out considerably. There are links on the site to hypnotherapists in your area.

Ten years is far too long to be suffering this mate and although it disappears it will be back to haunt you as soon as some stressful life events occur so it's important that you get to the bottom of this.

As for your visit tomorrow..... if the panic starts to rise (now there is a fair chance this may happen as your current worry about the site visit will be causing you a large amount of 'anticipatory anxiety') just try your very best to let it wash right over you and it WILL pass much quicker this way. You've been through 10 years of this and believe me your body/brain has already thrown the worst it can at you and you survived that so by trying to just let it wash over you, you'll find it passes even quicker and this way of thinking (ie... what's the worst it can do to me) you'll stop it from spiralling

The most important thing to remember is that it's YOU that causes panic to spiral to unbearable levels and by calm thinking you will be able to get those adrenalin levels to subside. It's amazing how powerful thoughts can be with regards to stress hormones ie. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF THIS PANIC but it can only be controlled by letting it do it's worst... if you can see what I mean

Buy the book and if you don't have time to get it today, then just take deep regular breaths (1 second in ..big inhale, hold for 3 seconds, then let out for 3 seconds, pause for 2 seconds before repeating) and just remember that panic only lasts for seconds and it's your brain's interpretation of that first wave of panic that causes it to spiral to unpleasant levels.

PS I didn't leave the house for nearly 2 years and I'm off to New Zealand to get married pretty soon so I guess I'm qualified to comment on this one

Good luck mate and it WILL PASS with the correct help

Oh.... and give up dope smoking if that's something that you partake in as it sure doesn't help anxiety sufferers

Brendan Hughes

SiPie - you can PM him your email address mate...

SiPie

Thanks Brendan ... I've sent him an e-mail

Forgot about that... d'oh

EddScott

I used to smoke loads when I was young and suspect its why I've become quite an anxious person nowadays. I used to really enjoy a good smoke now and again but I can't touch the stuff becuase I begin to suffer panic attacks.

If I do have one I can tell when its coming and usually if I'm not alone I'll go upstairs and sit quietly till it passes and as mentioned attempt to calm my thoughts down and ease its passing.

prodriva

Dont touch the weed anymore. Used to in my early 20's but that was a long time ago. Didnt do it regularly or in great quantities, just got nicely toasted with my mates.

Havent touched the stuff for nigh on 10 years. Hmmm maybe theres a link there???

SiPie

There is no proven link as yet... unless an underlying psychosis already exisists and things just sort of get stirred up but I've personally seen too many cases of strong weed smoking (ie good skunk etc) causing panic attacks/acute anxiety and too many psychologists/psychiatrists have strongly suggested that I don't ever touch the stuff again

Guess you've just got to make your own mind up on that one

Andy McCord

I too suffered a panic attack in a supermarket about 16 months ago, I couldnt look at anything, the shelves started confusing me, almost had to leg it out, havent been to the doctors but im just starting to get the better of visiting supermarkets now.

Still gets uncomfortable from time to time, also varied which supermarkets i went in to break down the worry, I couldnt believe how worried I would be on the shopping day, I 2 have smoked cannabis in the past, years ago, but my drinking habit is not brilliant good luck to u all, great advice Sipie.

corvid

I get this, especially when you've got to speak to a crowd of a lot of people, infact I dont do speaches anymore, I'll just leave the room.

Will you be speaking to a lot of people of your meeting/trip whatever? I guess thats why your feeling ill, because I would be too. I'm fine and very confident with people I know and when I go out, but public speaking kills me.

Its the worst feeling in the world, your hearts beating out of your chest, sweating etc and I dont think theres a cure for it, I tend to avoid these situations at all costs.

All the best.

prodriva

corvid, no mate I wont be speaking to loads of people. all I'm doing is carrying out a site visit with a colleague, taking loads of photos of junctions etc and lots of site notes then coming back. I think the problem is that we are going by public transport. I hate trains and really really hate the underground. Its a bad service, smelly and crowded. I used to go to London and use public transport loads in my youth but it been years since I last did it. Its the unknown I think which makes me so bloody nervous and ultimatley ill.

Sh*t man, I hate waiting for things to happen. I just want to get tomorrow over with.

richiewong

If you've been prescribed a Benzodiazapine eg Diazepam (Valium) go easy with them.
They are fairly addictive and you have to keep on increasing the dose to attain the same benefit

Deep muscle relaxation and breathing exercise is the best way to go

SiPie

As Richie says, don't use Benzos or Valium for anymore than a week...brilliant advice as it's soooooooo easy to develop a tolerance to them and then a nice little addiction follows

Corvid

Problems with public speaking is a more specific ailment that falls under the remit of social anxiety.

It's not pleasant either but what's happening to Prodriva is a more generalized type of anxiety disorder that can strike at any time.

You see... with public speaking, you can just avoid (or try to..if your job allows it) it and your illness effectively disappears, where as with GAD (Generalised anxiety disorder) or Anxiety/Panic disorder... it can affect you at anypoint of the day and in any social company or evn on your own in your own damned bed when it starts to get really bad

Supermarkets ... as mentioned by Andy McCord is one of the more common places to suffer panic attacks and it was one of my favourites It's a simple case of being trapped with no chance of escape.. now that may sound a bit odd but if your brain triggers a fight or flight panic response, then you need to get the hell out of there and if you are un a supermarket with trolley packed and you still have to go through the process of going through the checkout, waiting in queues, paying etc then you are effectively trapped... unless you do what I did on numerous occasions and just legged it out of the place, whilst dumping your basket in the aisle
Some people say that the lighting in supermarkets also contributes to making you feel a bit odd (almost strobe like) and can affect people in this way

Cinemas/public transport/stuck in jams on the motorways, are other classic places for Panic attack sufferers.

Plenty people suffer and there is now plenty help out there...

However......beware of the GP that is under time pressure and listens to you for 10 mins and sens you home with a bag of Prozac or Seroxat

You need more help than that and the anti-depressants don't always agree with everyone. They also tend to just mask the problem and don't get to the route cause...

Think I've rambled on quite enough

Good luck to Prodriva tomorrow

corvid

Do you have a problem with public speaking? Can you do it sipie?
I HATE it, but I can go on trains, supermarkets, big crowds dont bother me, but speaking in front of unfamilear people makes me feel sick. I guess its more common than you think but people dont talk about it.

Sipie, it cant be social anxiety because that means you hate crowds cant speak to people/shy and thats not my problem, its just public speaking that gets me.

Andy McCord

I know this sounds strange but, i also find it difficult having to go & meet a new person, if i just meet someone out of the blue with no pressure, usually its fine, but if say @ work I am compelled to go & meet someone it freaks me out until i am comfortable with this person, again alcohol cures all, but its not the answer, in the early days i would be wound up just going to my local pub, strange fear of dropping my drinks glasses after leaving the bar, but its gradually getting worse of a fear, with the occasional spike of anxiety, I thought if i went shopping on my own it may help, but it didnt in the end. I used to mentally (in my own mind) take the pi55 out of people with anxiety, but not anymore, they have my utmost best wishes....

SiPie

Corvid

Your fear of public speaking is still a form of 'social anxiety'... you are confusing panic disorder (the supermarkets bit etc) with social anxiety (feeling uncomfortable in crowds etc).. I suspect that lurking beneath your fear of public speaking lies a need to be liked/loved or accepted by everyone and you just can't handle it if you are made to look publicly stupid etc
This is a common desire for all humans and the ones that appear really cocky and say things like I just don't give a **** what people think tend to be using that bravado to try to cover the very anxiety we talk about here.

Worth checking out the link below as it gives some very good advice on public speaking

http://www.stresscure.com/jobstress/speak.html

I don't like it but as anyone that knows me will confirm (cue Saxoboy) I am lucky enough to have a personality that gets away with it. I even did a best man's speech at a pretty big wedding, when I was bang smack in the middle of my 12 year illness, so I guess I can answer yes to that one

Having been in more emergency rooms and had paramedics pull me out of my own car in the middle of the M8 as I was so paralysed with panic and to have a pile of **** in my pants as they did so...... and to be physically restrained by passengers as I tried to force open the door on a flight from Heathrow to Llublijana just to get out of that plane tends to mean that nowadays public speaking ain't something that would I consider anxiety provoking

However... I certainly would of done a few years ago...

LG John

I don't recall the basis of our conversation but as you seem to know I do suffer similar forms of attack and speak to Sipie about it quite regularly.

In my case I'm usually ok going places, doing things, public transport, public speaking, etc, etc. My problem comes with meeting new people and is particularly bad when meeting women. I can usually be all 'ladish' with the guys which allows me to interact at a more primative level with them but with lasses you usually can't get away with that.

Ironically, the ONLY lass I have met for the first time in recent years and been fine with is eClaire from this very board. The first night I met her I was VERY stressed (almost sick in the car) before meeting her but quickly calmed down as we drove up town. We went to a bar and I was ok, then back to mines for some beers and I was fine there as well. I've no idea why I was ok that evening despite the pre-event worry almost putting me over the edge and I certainly haven't been able to repeat the performance. In fact, recently I majorly freaked out and I certainly wouldn't feel particularly stress free about meeting someone at the moment. To date I still don't have a cure for my condition but I don't think I can avoid seeking one much longer......


....just the other night my mates had a bit of a go at me in the pub for being such a '*****' on nights out. I tried to explain it to them but the really can't understand and I don't resent them for it. They did make the point though that I make myself very unapproachable and certainly won't be putting myself out. "Your 25 kenny and not getting younger, you have to enjoy yourself now when you are still young and can get away with it without being a total saddo" The thing is that they REALLY do have a point!! Despite that I still can't go up to a nice looking lass in a bar and strike up a conversation. Not because I couldn't do it or because I'm afraid she'd say no but moreso because I'd sh!te it if she said yes. I think the root of my problem is possible outcomes. I'm a confident person in so many ways so I will happily talk to people but I know that if she says no or only makes polite chit-chat that the outcomes are simple - the conversation will eventually break down and I'll go off to find my mates, the bog, a beer, whatever. If she says yes, makes interested conversation and is flirty then I go into panic mode because I think, 'She likes me' and can't handle all the possible outcomes (****, exchange of numbers, arrange another meeting, no further outcomes, a snog, etc, etc) and the consequences of those outcomes.

Sipie you never told me the M8 story before. That is horrific mate

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

been good reading this thread, i can see bits of myself in most problems aired here, but i can relate especially with the above.

i'm with someone at the mo but more thru luck than me being 'normal', coz that's what it feels like sometimes.

feels a bit 'ricki lake' writing personal probs on the internet, but just reading the posts makes me see that i'm not the freak i thought i was.

thing i find that pisses me off is that i'm ok with people i know (once i get to know them if that makes sense) it's meeting new people or even worse being in a group of people that i already know but for some reason i feel really intimidated and clam up completely, as saxoboy says 'being a ***** or unapproachable'. it's not that, i just **** myself worrying about saying the right thing or trying not to look an **** or even just trying to fit in, WHY FFS? these people might not be close friends, more casual friends, but i get on with them ok and in a small group i'm fine and can be a laugh, but throw in a change to the situation and i'm fooked.

will have a good look at the links put up, cheers

imlach

Umm....Kenny young chap, while I am not denying you may have anxiety/panic in other areas, I think you'll find lack of confidence in chatting up women in pubs is quite common amongst the male population and in this particular instance I suspect it is a confidence/self-belief issue rather than a panic/anxiety thing....of course, I'm sure that may lead into a anxiety thing, but please don't think the former is at all unusual....

LG John

Makes perfect sense to me! 10 minutes before I met eClaire I almost threw up on my own dashboard, in my own city, in a street I'm familure with just because I was scared of the 'outcomes' of meeting her. Now I know her better I could pretty much do anything anywhere with her and be fine but chuck in a new element and I still might get thrown by it.

For example:

eClaire says.... Kenny, lets go to London, get bevvied, get a hotel, fool around all night, etc. I'm fine

eClaire says.....Kenny, lets go to London and meet some of the muppets, get bevvied, get a hotel, fool around all night, etc I'm screwed

There is little difference between the two nights away but the pressure of meeting the new people would be enough to tip me over the edge. However, if I went to London to meet the muppets on my own and only had to worry about myself, what I do, where I go, etc I'd probably be fine. That is, unless of course, a muppet-lass took a liking to me which would be my worst nightmare in unfamilure surroundings!!

imlach

Nothing to worry about.

I threw up 10 minutes after I met her for the first time

imlach

PS Claire, that's a joke

LG John

ROTFLMAO In the top 10 for funniest thing I've read on Scoobynet

LG John

I wouldn't say so in my case. Whilst I'm not Mr Confidence 2004 I'm certainly not backwards at coming forwards and am well known to just blurt out what I want to say. I really am not that scared of talking to people and can handle rejection. As I alluded to I'd actually be far more concerned by anyone I chat up actually responding positively to that Again, this isn't because I'm afriad that she'd learn not to like me or that she'd not like my chat, bedroom abilities, etc as I'm quite confident that they are all ok. I think somewhere deep down I panic about the 'outcomes' as I don't know EXACTLY what she is wanting from the encounter. My biggest fear is to misjudge what someone else wants.