Can you ever REALLY be friends with your ex?
11 April 2003, 04:05 PM
#1
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If there are kids involved then you really have to be civil with each other for their sakes. Me and my ex talk occasionally but its all very polite and stilted.
Should be interesting in 2 weeks, I'm attending a family function with my "new" 2 week husband and my ex will also be there, so will my new in-laws and my ex in-laws and also my ex brothers in law....wow what a day that will be !!!!
[Edited by Apparition - 11/4/2003 4:06:43 PM]
Should be interesting in 2 weeks, I'm attending a family function with my "new" 2 week husband and my ex will also be there, so will my new in-laws and my ex in-laws and also my ex brothers in law....wow what a day that will be !!!!
[Edited by Apparition - 11/4/2003 4:06:43 PM]
11 April 2003, 04:13 PM
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From my side of things I have to speak to my ex wife as there is my son to talk about. I have made it perfectly clear I hate her with a passion and I only talk about my son, most of the time biting my lip massively so as not to start WW3. To me this is not the same as getting texts from ex's anytime of the day and is not talking to my ex because I want to talk to her, its because I have to talk about my son and arrange stuff etc. To me this is not comparable and are two different matters.
Oh and in no way could it be construed in any manner as to be staying friends with my ex, its just not even possible, Koffi Anan couldn't broker those peace talks successfully
[Edited by ************** - 11/4/2003 4:15:55 PM]
Oh and in no way could it be construed in any manner as to be staying friends with my ex, its just not even possible, Koffi Anan couldn't broker those peace talks successfully
[Edited by ************** - 11/4/2003 4:15:55 PM]
11 April 2003, 04:46 PM
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LOL POC i'm simply not replying and taking the bait on here
Women! They just know naturally how to get a blokes back up with one simple sentence! Also having given up smoking for three weeks and therefore also less beer its become a great struggle not to take the bait!
[Edited by ************** - 11/4/2003 5:16:03 PM]
Women! They just know naturally how to get a blokes back up with one simple sentence! Also having given up smoking for three weeks and therefore also less beer its become a great struggle not to take the bait!
[Edited by ************** - 11/4/2003 5:16:03 PM]
11 April 2003, 09:06 PM
#5
I still am friends with 2 ex's
1. I am friends with my ex fiancee, (at least i think we are) we lived together for 2 years, previous we had been going out for over 10 years on and off, mainly on. Split in March this year, had to contact her a few times about bills and letters and found a few things that she hadnt taken from our flat. It is her B'day today, i sent her at text at 7am when in work to wish her a good day, i got a nice "thankyou" as reply. I am not sharking her, although when we have split previous times, we always seem to get back together, even when we know things arent going to work. The last split was the last time that we would put each other through the trauma, we agreed that. I used to text her late, after a few stella's just for a chat mainly. Nothing suggestive like.
2. The other (i have known now for 4 years )i was with for 4 months, we work at the same company, (we started on the same day funnily, diff departments though) We had a great time (this was when i had a break with my Fiancee(for a year)) I was really into it, probably on the rebound, except she was everything my Fiancee wasnt. That ended anyhow, not quite sure why. Anyhow, we are best mates at the mo, we go out for lunch, we text each other late at night, we phone each other when ever, we go out at weekends occasionally. Oh and we had a great snog on Friday at some party. !!
Maybe its just me, but i dont have an ex, that i particulary hate or dont want to ever meet again.
Well thats me in a small nutshell.
[Edited by lpski1 - 11/4/2003 9:10:32 PM]
1. I am friends with my ex fiancee, (at least i think we are) we lived together for 2 years, previous we had been going out for over 10 years on and off, mainly on. Split in March this year, had to contact her a few times about bills and letters and found a few things that she hadnt taken from our flat. It is her B'day today, i sent her at text at 7am when in work to wish her a good day, i got a nice "thankyou" as reply. I am not sharking her, although when we have split previous times, we always seem to get back together, even when we know things arent going to work. The last split was the last time that we would put each other through the trauma, we agreed that. I used to text her late, after a few stella's just for a chat mainly. Nothing suggestive like.
2. The other (i have known now for 4 years )i was with for 4 months, we work at the same company, (we started on the same day funnily, diff departments though) We had a great time (this was when i had a break with my Fiancee(for a year)) I was really into it, probably on the rebound, except she was everything my Fiancee wasnt. That ended anyhow, not quite sure why. Anyhow, we are best mates at the mo, we go out for lunch, we text each other late at night, we phone each other when ever, we go out at weekends occasionally. Oh and we had a great snog on Friday at some party. !!
Maybe its just me, but i dont have an ex, that i particulary hate or dont want to ever meet again.
Well thats me in a small nutshell.
[Edited by lpski1 - 11/4/2003 9:10:32 PM]
11 April 2003, 10:17 PM
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well, one ex I am very good friends with, would say best friends, we get on really well and I'm glad that we do talk, as we did not for a while, which is to be expected, but we do now and it's great 
Another ex I don't speak to, will I? not sure, maybe, not sure she'd want to speak to me again, and don't blame her really, bottom line is that it's not something I'm going to discuss publically (most unusal for me I know! lol).
another question is, if you ar good friends with your ex, how does your current partner feel about this? are they jealous of your friendship, or possibly think something is going on?
I reacted differently to different ex's talking to their ex's, for one it was ok, for another it was weird. Can't explain really. I know I'd feel odd about Ellie talking to her ex, but there are reasons there, again, none of your beeswax
lol. I know Ellie is a little odd about me talking to my ex, but hey that is kinda normal, and anyway, she knows we are just good friends, have told her that she can find out all my secrets from my ex! lol!
[Edited by Markus - 11/4/2003 10:35:45 PM]
Another ex I don't speak to, will I? not sure, maybe, not sure she'd want to speak to me again, and don't blame her really, bottom line is that it's not something I'm going to discuss publically (most unusal for me I know! lol
).another question is, if you ar good friends with your ex, how does your current partner feel about this? are they jealous of your friendship, or possibly think something is going on?
I reacted differently to different ex's talking to their ex's, for one it was ok, for another it was weird. Can't explain really. I know I'd feel odd about Ellie talking to her ex, but there are reasons there, again, none of your beeswax
lol. I know Ellie is a little odd about me talking to my ex, but hey that is kinda normal, and anyway, she knows we are just good friends, have told her that she can find out all my secrets from my ex! lol! [Edited by Markus - 11/4/2003 10:35:45 PM]
04 November 2003, 03:33 PM
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Hi
Just interested to know if other people can be friends with their ex bf's/gf's without the past being brought up every 5 minutes or one person caring more than the other?
I think friendship isn't possible now having had my mind changed quite recently
So come on, yes or no?
Just interested to know if other people can be friends with their ex bf's/gf's without the past being brought up every 5 minutes or one person caring more than the other?
I think friendship isn't possible now having had my mind changed quite recently
So come on, yes or no?
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04 November 2003, 03:41 PM
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I would say its not possible.
I recently split with a long term GF and you simply cant win. If you dont call them your a total git, if you do call them they think you want to get back together.
I simply dont stay in contact and ignore the attempts to contact me.
Its hard but best in long run
I recently split with a long term GF and you simply cant win. If you dont call them your a total git, if you do call them they think you want to get back together.
I simply dont stay in contact and ignore the attempts to contact me.
Its hard but best in long run
04 November 2003, 03:44 PM
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I'm friends with a few old flames - however I also harbour a hatred for the majority of past 'sh@gs' especially my ex wife.... but I'm not going into that one again as it will only end up with me smoking and drinking myself into an early grave again tonight!
04 November 2003, 03:44 PM
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I think its a difficult situtaion to become friends afterwards, also depends how you broke up. If you have another partner however its not fair on the new patrner to have the ex shooved in face alot as it can be quite intimidating, occasionaly is ok but once your brkoe up you should leave it broke up and concentrate on your new partner. But i guess that also depends if your the type to start messin around with your ex again, maybe thats why they became ex hahaha.
I woulnd't become friends with my ex, i sayhello whenever i see him but thats it. If i broke up with Nick i'd much like to remain friends but if he started seeing someone else i'd take my initiative to kinda stay away more and be kind enough to let them get on.
I woulnd't become friends with my ex, i sayhello whenever i see him but thats it. If i broke up with Nick i'd much like to remain friends but if he started seeing someone else i'd take my initiative to kinda stay away more and be kind enough to let them get on.
04 November 2003, 03:49 PM
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Thank you for that Cino! Someone who has the same opinion as me for once
Ex bfs of my gf get right on my **** and really get my back up and you know who wonders why I get annoyed when they start texting her at 11pm on a Sunday night for example!
So W69 something your not telling me then about your ex's phoning you???
Ex bfs of my gf get right on my **** and really get my back up and you know who wonders why I get annoyed when they start texting her at 11pm on a Sunday night for example!
So W69 something your not telling me then about your ex's phoning you???
04 November 2003, 03:52 PM
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B20 and W69 I can see this thread going the way the "moving in together, how much should the gf pay" thread did
I think its ok to stay friends but 11pm texts are out of order - I bet he's pissed and being lewd - I would ask to read them mate - if they're innocent then she'll have no worries you reading them will she....
I think its ok to stay friends but 11pm texts are out of order - I bet he's pissed and being lewd - I would ask to read them mate - if they're innocent then she'll have no worries you reading them will she....
04 November 2003, 04:00 PM
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Oh i wasn't implying ex's get on my nerves, not atall, frankly i dont mind. BUT i'm saying if i saw ex's like all the time i'd get abit miffed and wonder, why aint they still together, who am i? and would then take my inititave to find someone UNattached
if your broke up then leave it broke up and think about your new partners feelings, because it CAN feel intimidating, its a natural feeling we all have.I certainly wouldn't have my ex around while i'm woth Nick, coz i'm not with him anymore.
But then again sometimes ex's and new partners get on well
04 November 2003, 04:04 PM
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Dont think W69 would have a good leg to stand on arguing they were innocent texts - unless she lets you read them?
This happened to me although the phone was on silent and I was unaware she'd got any texts until I saw her exs car lurking round the corner a few times. Dippy cow forgot to delete them and I read the whole lot them dumped her after taking some 'pictures' of her asleep involving a "frequently" used part of her body, cigarettes, empty wine bottles and lipstick!!
This happened to me although the phone was on silent and I was unaware she'd got any texts until I saw her exs car lurking round the corner a few times. Dippy cow forgot to delete them and I read the whole lot them dumped her after taking some 'pictures' of her asleep involving a "frequently" used part of her body, cigarettes, empty wine bottles and lipstick!!