I Hate My Feckin Ex So Much..............
27 October 2003, 01:43 PM
#1
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Post removed as let off steam and now feel that subject should be closed!
[Edited by red_dog104 - 10/27/2003 4:30:24 PM]
[Edited by red_dog104 - 10/27/2003 4:30:24 PM]
27 October 2003, 02:01 PM
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Red_Dog - cant you get a restraining order prohibiting involvement in your sons life apart from those times specified?
Intrigued by the sexual deviant bit
Intrigued by the sexual deviant bit
27 October 2003, 02:08 PM
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Whilst you and your ex may not get on, he obviously does care about his son and that's something that you should be pleased about, irrespective of what happened between you and him.
Your Ex was probably pleased that he would be seeing him on his birthday and that is why he doesn't want to miss this oppurtunity.
These situations are never easy, but for the sake of your son, you should ensure that he has good times with his Dad, as well as having them with you. When he is older, he will think more of you if you do this.
Mark a calendar up with what weekends he will be with his Dad and this shouldn't happen again.
Your Ex was probably pleased that he would be seeing him on his birthday and that is why he doesn't want to miss this oppurtunity.
These situations are never easy, but for the sake of your son, you should ensure that he has good times with his Dad, as well as having them with you. When he is older, he will think more of you if you do this.
Mark a calendar up with what weekends he will be with his Dad and this shouldn't happen again.
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27 October 2003, 02:09 PM
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So what exactly has he done wrong? He gets to see his kid very occasionally and you want him to see the kid a bit less, particularly at birthday time. He goes to school to see the teachers and find out how his son is doing and you translate this into potential kidnap?
27 October 2003, 02:14 PM
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Why didn't you arrange to swap the weekend?
From the outside looking in this looked avoidable.
You should be more ANGRY with the school. You're always going to have trouble with the ex.
From the outside looking in this looked avoidable.
You should be more ANGRY with the school. You're always going to have trouble with the ex.
27 October 2003, 02:22 PM
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Seems that the only one getting hurt by this is your son.
Jus' my opinion, but maybe you should put your differences aside cos it cant be healthy for him to know that you two are fighting over him like this.
astraboy.
Jus' my opinion, but maybe you should put your differences aside cos it cant be healthy for him to know that you two are fighting over him like this.
astraboy.
27 October 2003, 02:22 PM
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go see a counceller. you aint gonna get any proper advice on a car enthusisasts message board. u have said 1 thing, people have dissagreed with u and now u are moving the goal posts, u obviously (as most women do) have long term issues with the guy. fair play if its true and hes been violent in the past etc etc but I see no reason this guy cant see his son. you might have organised something for his b'day but how do u know his father mite not have been looking forward to spending his sons b'day with him all year somewhere special. you might have messed his plans up.
27 October 2003, 02:23 PM
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I think you ought to step back a bit and think about what is best for your son, not what is most convenient for you.
From your post its quite obvious that you do not sit down every now and then and tell his Dad about how he is getting on at school, showing him pictures he has drawn etc. So its quite understandable that he would go to the school on parents evening and find out for himself. I'm sure he loved seeing the boy's work on the classroom wall and he is legally entitled to do so, whether you like it or not.
Your definition of sexual deviance may refer to something that other couples enjoy on a regular basis, so has no part in this and certainly does not affect this bloke's ability to be a good father.
From your post its quite obvious that you do not sit down every now and then and tell his Dad about how he is getting on at school, showing him pictures he has drawn etc. So its quite understandable that he would go to the school on parents evening and find out for himself. I'm sure he loved seeing the boy's work on the classroom wall and he is legally entitled to do so, whether you like it or not.
Your definition of sexual deviance may refer to something that other couples enjoy on a regular basis, so has no part in this and certainly does not affect this bloke's ability to be a good father.
27 October 2003, 02:23 PM
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Red, you seem at least partly to blame in this problem. If it p1sses you off when he arranges things on your time you should understand and try not to do it on his. It would seem a good thing that he's interested in the boy's schooling and I would have arranged to attend parents evening together. Hard to reconcile an interest in his schooling with kidnap. It's also of no relevance that you believe he's a pervert as his perversions are adult based and do not seem to place the boy in danger..
Sounds like you need to get over the past and sort something out for the future. If this man genuinely loves his boy he's going to be in your life for some time and you should try and rub along as well as possible. Good luck
Sounds like you need to get over the past and sort something out for the future. If this man genuinely loves his boy he's going to be in your life for some time and you should try and rub along as well as possible. Good luck
27 October 2003, 02:42 PM
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This place makes me sick sometimes! just jump down her throat straight away why dont you.
Red - i'd put your post on handbag, you may get some support there
dont justify it to this lot, they dont know half of the story and are just jumping to conclusions atraight away.
Red - i'd put your post on handbag, you may get some support there
dont justify it to this lot, they dont know half of the story and are just jumping to conclusions atraight away.
27 October 2003, 02:46 PM
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Cheers mel. I know it's all blokes on here who think they are hard done by but sometimes it's a bit of a reality check to see other peoples reactions. I've calmed down a lot so know how i'm going to handle it.
[Edited by red_dog104 - 10/27/2003 2:46:55 PM]
[Edited by red_dog104 - 10/27/2003 2:46:55 PM]
27 October 2003, 02:49 PM
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Thing I find most disturbing is the school not booting him out. He should have had the decency to ask you before going there. It's good that he still cares for the boy and shows an interest in his education but he's out of order not informing you about it.
As for arranging a birthday bash with you when it's really your ex's turn to see him - good for you, maybe this'll teach him not to take liberties when he organises something.
As for arranging a birthday bash with you when it's really your ex's turn to see him - good for you, maybe this'll teach him not to take liberties when he organises something.
27 October 2003, 02:51 PM
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Mel, if you feel like that what are the people on here supposed to say if they only get half a story, if they read something and it sounds unfair to the "ex" then people are gonna reply and say so. dont hink any1 is jumping on her back, maybe she shouldnt have posted this in the first place.
27 October 2003, 02:55 PM
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If you were married then he as as much legal right to attend a parents evening as you do. How come you didnt know about it?
Whatever has happened between you and your ex is irrelevant when it comes to your son. The boy wont benefit hearing you slag his father off if you're considering doing the same as his father. I do agree though he is completely in the wrong and out of order saying you're a bitch and a sl@g - that must stop.
Swap the said weekend with another and ensure this doesnt happen again as much as is practically possible. Keep to an agreed routine and the father wont have anything to complain about.
Keep a record of all the times your son has said he dad said this or that then attempt to arrange mediation to sort it out.
It aint easy, I've been there but got through it I'm sure you can too.
Good luck.
S96
Whatever has happened between you and your ex is irrelevant when it comes to your son. The boy wont benefit hearing you slag his father off if you're considering doing the same as his father. I do agree though he is completely in the wrong and out of order saying you're a bitch and a sl@g - that must stop.
Swap the said weekend with another and ensure this doesnt happen again as much as is practically possible. Keep to an agreed routine and the father wont have anything to complain about.
Keep a record of all the times your son has said he dad said this or that then attempt to arrange mediation to sort it out.
It aint easy, I've been there but got through it I'm sure you can too.
Good luck.
S96
27 October 2003, 02:57 PM
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I have never had a cross word with my ex wife, so I cannot comment on tactics and revenge etc.
My only thought is that I missed a lot of my oldest two growing up and I will never have that time again and its my only regret about my time in the services. My youngest two now I spend every minute with I can and whilst I love them no more than my oldest two I appreciate the value of the time more.
I think what I am trying to say is don't do anything that my hurt your son. Whilst I dont agree with some of the stuff about your ex's life style, he is the boy's father. For the love of your son I would try and cut him some slack within the boundries of whats good for your son.
Time is precious, its only when you have lost it you realise that.
My only thought is that I missed a lot of my oldest two growing up and I will never have that time again and its my only regret about my time in the services. My youngest two now I spend every minute with I can and whilst I love them no more than my oldest two I appreciate the value of the time more.
I think what I am trying to say is don't do anything that my hurt your son. Whilst I dont agree with some of the stuff about your ex's life style, he is the boy's father. For the love of your son I would try and cut him some slack within the boundries of whats good for your son.
Time is precious, its only when you have lost it you realise that.
27 October 2003, 02:57 PM
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I cant understand why people turn into big kids when they break up bitching about the slightest thing slagging each other off etc
get on with your life
tell him to grow up or shut up
dont argue just walk away
lifes too short to waste time on someone you cant like
get on with your life
tell him to grow up or shut up
dont argue just walk away
lifes too short to waste time on someone you cant like
27 October 2003, 02:59 PM
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Hi Dave, I think she was letting off steam with her first post, i do know what you mean i've had people jump down my throat on this and other forums because they have either misinterpretted me or they dont know the full story, i just think people should ask for a little more info first (if she wanted to post anymore details)
Red - thats ok, I'm glad your feeling a bit better now
Red - thats ok, I'm glad your feeling a bit better now
27 October 2003, 03:01 PM
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The bloke sounds like a total ar$e! So wrong that he slags off red_dog to her son!!
It sounds to me that he gives a **** when he feels like it. (and it will cause maximum trouble)
Just MO.
It sounds to me that he gives a **** when he feels like it. (and it will cause maximum trouble)
Just MO.
27 October 2003, 03:03 PM
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My ex doesnt tell my sons school about me or anything either so I tell them myself which is probably what your ex has done. Why the hell shouldn't he be allowed to find out how his son is doing at school?
I am speaking from the other side of the fence as I am a dad who only gets his son every other weekend and whoever said they wouldnt fancy only 52 days a year with their kid, tell me about it, you really dont want to go there! Its a ******* joke thats wot judges award [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
I am speaking from the other side of the fence as I am a dad who only gets his son every other weekend and whoever said they wouldnt fancy only 52 days a year with their kid, tell me about it, you really dont want to go there! Its a ******* joke thats wot judges award [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]