RB5-Black

MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

DURING the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie Benaud observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their ***** on the green."

CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

STEVE Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told Trude: "There's something big growing between my legs."

CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

The Zohan

Quote for the boat race many years ago

" Princess Anne is now kissing the *** of the Cambridge team"

Fanny Craddocks cooking programme - Johnny, her husband came out with " ....and now everbody can have doughnuts just like Fanny's"

daiscooby

David Coleman:
Juantarina just opened his legs and showed us his class.

Tony Gregg:
The bowlers Holding the batsmans Willey.

daiscooby

The best one I ever heard was Ray French commentating on Great Britain versus Australia Rugby League Test at in the early eighties. The Aussies were thrashing GB by about 40 something to 3 when a very young Elery Hanley in his first test I think intercepted a pass on virtually the GB try line and ran 90 yards to score.
Ray French:
"Ay up the darkies got it and he's gone. They'll not catch him he's like **** off shovel."

There was a full minute before he spoke again and said:
"And theres the extra point."

Classic.

Leslie

LMAO-several times!

Les

NENO

PMSL