the bobfoc list
18 April 2003, 03:53 PM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: the middle bit
Posts: 8,238
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
lmao from a funny e-mail:
>AEROPLANE BLONDE
>One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
>
>AUSSIE KISS
>Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
>
>BADLY PACKED KEBAB
>A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia.
>
>BEAVER LEAVER
>A homosexual.
>
>BEER COAT
>The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3
>in the morning.
>
>BEER COMPASS
>The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
>cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you
>get there, and where you've come from.
>
>BEER SCOOTER
>The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it
>i.e. '! don't even remember getting home last night, I must have caught the
>beer scooter".
>
>BOBFOC
>Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
>
>BOILER SUIT
>The prosecution charge that you did willfully, and with phallus
>aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought
>by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
>
>BONE OF CONTENTION
>A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man is
>watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.
>
>BREAKING THE SEAL
>Your first **** in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
>breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
>required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
>
>BRITNEY SPEARS
>Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".
>
>BRUCE LEE
>Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
>
>BUDGIE'S TONGUE or SMALL MAN IN A BOAT, or TONGUE PUNCHBAG
>The female erection.
>
>BUNNY-BOILER
>An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in
>the film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. 'I don't like the took of that aeroplane
>blonde - could be a bunny boiler".
>
>DOUBLE BASS
>A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then
>fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with
>the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass
>instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
>
>DRINK-LINK
>A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common
>to visit one before going out on the booze.
>
>ETCH-A-SKETCH
>Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples
>simultaneously.
>
>FLOGGING ON
>Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
>
>FREE THE TADPOLES
>Liberate the residents of W8nk Tanks.
>
>FRIGMAROLE
>Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
>
>F*CKSH8TF*CKSH8TF*CKSH8T
>The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
>
>GOING FOR A McSH8T
>Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
>just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
>declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mc**** With
>Lies.
>
>GREYHOUND
>A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
>
>HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT
>A vigorous masturbation session.
>
>JOHNNY-NO-STARS
>A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in
>a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars
>that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of
>training.
>
>MILLENNIUM DOMES
>The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the
>outside, but there's actually f*ck-all in there worth seeing.
>
>MONKEY BATH
>A bath so hot, that when towering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo Aa! Aa!
>Aa!".
>
>MUMBLER
>An attractive girt in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e. you can see the
>'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.
>
>MYSTERY BUS
>The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet
>after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub
>is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
>
>MYSTERY TAXI
>The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up,
>whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed
>instead.
>
>NBR (NO BEERS REQUIRED)
>Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a
>10-Pinter.
>
>NELSON MANDELA
>Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
>
>ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE
>The need to defecate imminently.
>
>PEARL HARBOUR
>Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out
>there!" Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the air.
>
>PICASSO ****
>A woman whose knickers are too smart for her, so she looks like she's got 4
>buttocks.
>
>RAGMAN'S COAT
>Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit but I bet
>she's got a kebab like a ragmans coat !"
>
>RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE
>To defecate e.g. " I've got one in the departure lounge, so I'm just nipping
>out to release a chocolate hostage".
>
>SALAD DODGER
>An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
>
>SKIN-CHIMNEY - see BADLY PACKED KEBAB
>
>SPERM WAIL or SPUPHEMISM
>A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
>
>STARFISH TROOPER or ARSETRONAUT
>A homosexual.
>
>SWAMP-DONKEY
>A deeply unattractive woman.
>
>TART FUEL or BITCH P*SS
>Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
>
>TEN-PINTER
>Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
>
>TITANIC
>A lady who goes down first time out.
>
>TODGER DODGER
>A lesbian.
>
>TWO-BAGGER or DOUBLE BAGGER
>Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (1 to cover their
>head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off).
>
>VAGINA DECLINER
>A homosexual.
>
>WALLACE AND GROMIT
>Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.
>
>W*NK SEANCE
>During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched
>with disgust by your dead relatives.
>
>WYNONA RYDER
>Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e.g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle
>of tart fuel please Doreen".
>
>X-PILES
>Unwanted visitors from Uranus.
Si
>AEROPLANE BLONDE
>One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
>
>AUSSIE KISS
>Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
>
>BADLY PACKED KEBAB
>A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia.
>
>BEAVER LEAVER
>A homosexual.
>
>BEER COAT
>The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3
>in the morning.
>
>BEER COMPASS
>The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
>cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you
>get there, and where you've come from.
>
>BEER SCOOTER
>The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it
>i.e. '! don't even remember getting home last night, I must have caught the
>beer scooter".
>
>BOBFOC
>Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
>
>BOILER SUIT
>The prosecution charge that you did willfully, and with phallus
>aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought
>by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
>
>BONE OF CONTENTION
>A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man is
>watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.
>
>BREAKING THE SEAL
>Your first **** in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
>breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
>required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
>
>BRITNEY SPEARS
>Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".
>
>BRUCE LEE
>Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
>
>BUDGIE'S TONGUE or SMALL MAN IN A BOAT, or TONGUE PUNCHBAG
>The female erection.
>
>BUNNY-BOILER
>An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in
>the film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. 'I don't like the took of that aeroplane
>blonde - could be a bunny boiler".
>
>DOUBLE BASS
>A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then
>fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with
>the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass
>instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
>
>DRINK-LINK
>A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common
>to visit one before going out on the booze.
>
>ETCH-A-SKETCH
>Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples
>simultaneously.
>
>FLOGGING ON
>Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
>
>FREE THE TADPOLES
>Liberate the residents of W8nk Tanks.
>
>FRIGMAROLE
>Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
>
>F*CKSH8TF*CKSH8TF*CKSH8T
>The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
>
>GOING FOR A McSH8T
>Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
>just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
>declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mc**** With
>Lies.
>
>GREYHOUND
>A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
>
>HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT
>A vigorous masturbation session.
>
>JOHNNY-NO-STARS
>A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in
>a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars
>that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of
>training.
>
>MILLENNIUM DOMES
>The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the
>outside, but there's actually f*ck-all in there worth seeing.
>
>MONKEY BATH
>A bath so hot, that when towering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo Aa! Aa!
>Aa!".
>
>MUMBLER
>An attractive girt in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e. you can see the
>'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.
>
>MYSTERY BUS
>The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet
>after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub
>is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
>
>MYSTERY TAXI
>The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up,
>whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed
>instead.
>
>NBR (NO BEERS REQUIRED)
>Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a
>10-Pinter.
>
>NELSON MANDELA
>Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
>
>ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE
>The need to defecate imminently.
>
>PEARL HARBOUR
>Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out
>there!" Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the air.
>
>PICASSO ****
>A woman whose knickers are too smart for her, so she looks like she's got 4
>buttocks.
>
>RAGMAN'S COAT
>Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit but I bet
>she's got a kebab like a ragmans coat !"
>
>RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE
>To defecate e.g. " I've got one in the departure lounge, so I'm just nipping
>out to release a chocolate hostage".
>
>SALAD DODGER
>An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
>
>SKIN-CHIMNEY - see BADLY PACKED KEBAB
>
>SPERM WAIL or SPUPHEMISM
>A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
>
>STARFISH TROOPER or ARSETRONAUT
>A homosexual.
>
>SWAMP-DONKEY
>A deeply unattractive woman.
>
>TART FUEL or BITCH P*SS
>Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
>
>TEN-PINTER
>Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
>
>TITANIC
>A lady who goes down first time out.
>
>TODGER DODGER
>A lesbian.
>
>TWO-BAGGER or DOUBLE BAGGER
>Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (1 to cover their
>head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off).
>
>VAGINA DECLINER
>A homosexual.
>
>WALLACE AND GROMIT
>Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.
>
>W*NK SEANCE
>During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched
>with disgust by your dead relatives.
>
>WYNONA RYDER
>Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e.g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle
>of tart fuel please Doreen".
>
>X-PILES
>Unwanted visitors from Uranus.
Si
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post