Important info that should affect your weekend!!
11 April 2003, 03:41 PM
#1
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Just a few thoughts for the weekend:
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance.
It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve during their college years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint. Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have.
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance.
It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve during their college years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint. Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have.
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12 April 2003, 02:38 AM
#12
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Lets assemble a parliment of suitable genius to support Pete with his new manifesto.
I for one, have been spreading the word ( alone in my shed and in the house where allowed ) about this great new knowledge and would like to (hic) propose a toastttttt to a new Grrrrreeeeeaaaattt Brtn (burp).
Power tothe peeps.
ooh, feel a BIT QUesy now.........
I for one, have been spreading the word ( alone in my shed and in the house where allowed ) about this great new knowledge and would like to (hic) propose a toastttttt to a new Grrrrreeeeeaaaattt Brtn (burp).
Power tothe peeps.
ooh, feel a BIT QUesy now.........
12 April 2003, 03:28 AM
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If the herd has been drinking, then the first one to stop to p*ss is doomed. Therefore, evolution favors superior bladder control.
But wait, maybe that's wrong, maybe the pursuing predators will lose their purchase in the slick. Maybe the herd owes a favor to those lagging drinkers. Yes, that must be it. In fact, I think I'll have more beer straight away.
glug glug glug
Hey, where did the rest of the herd AAAAAHHHHH!
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