BarryK

UEFA have just published their rules for the conduct of the Champions League draw. They are as follows:

Rule 1: The teams will be divided into four pots with at least one easy team in each pot who can then all be allocated to Manchester United.

Rule 2: Teams will not be drawn against other teams from the same countries. After all Manchester Utd have already lost to Arsenal this season so this would represent an unfair disadvantage to them.

Rule 3: Teams will not be drawn against teams they faced in the first phase. After all Anderlecht have already proved they are better than Man Utd so it would be unfair to put them in the same group again.

Rule 4: Manchester Utd should strictly avoid playing either the holders or the favorites. To ensure this happens these two will be allocated to Leeds' group.

Rule 5: The draw shall be conducted at Old Trafford by Martin Edwards. No television crews will be allowed but to ensure fairness the draw shall be observed by UEFA's independent representative, Alex Ferguson.

Rule 6: Should any team be in a position where they may eliminate Manchester United in the last game of Phase 2, rule 27 from the first phase draw shall also apply - that team must put the ball wide if presented with an open goal in the last five minutes of the game.

Rule 7: Players receiving three or more yellow cards will be banned from the next game. To avoid unfair disadvantage to Manchester United this rule will not apply to Roy Keane.

Rule 8: All teams must revise their catering facilities to provide only for the sale of prawn sandwiches. In this way all teams will be equally hindered by the lack of atmosphere within the ground, and Manchester United shall not therefore be unfairly disadvantaged.

Robertio

iTrader: (1)

Rule 7 - Should this not also apply to Nicky Butt and Paul Scholes?

The sad thing is these are probably pretty close to the truth.

Oh and Rule 9 - No opposing team should be given a penalty at Old Trafford without previously agreeing not to score.