T4molie

(We take you now to the Oval Office for a conversation between George
W. Bush and Condeleeza Rice)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No coffee. Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China??
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get
Chinese food in the Middle East?

CrisPDuk

Seen it before, but, like the league of gentlemen, it is still to close to the truth to be funny

I would also dispute the grammar of the thread title. A more accurate title would be:

The stupidest man in the world, elevated to a position where he is able to f**k every single last one of us, right up the ***!

skipjack

correction: alan greenspan, chairman of the federal reserve is the most powerful man in the world. the US president is second in line, closely followed by the chinese and russian premiers.

personally i'd say the the really stupid people are those that blindly swallow the snobbish, superior, left-of-centre pseudo-intellectual view of bush. you know, the same tired old anti-american mantra that goes:

texan southerner = redneck
verbally awkward = stupid
insular = prejudiced
uncosmopolitan = ignorant

at the very least, he confounded every critic post 9/11 who just assumed that this clearly prejudiced, ignorant, stupid, gung-ho redneck would go on an indescriminate rampage of revenge.

which of course, he didn't, as the facts of the last 15 months show. the reaction of the administration of which he is head was to analyse the situation then remove from power - quickly and surgically - an entirely repugnant regime with close links to the perpetrators of 9/11.

ask yourself: is the world a more dangerous place since he came to office? yes, but through the deeds of extreme fundamentalist muslim terrorists.

has the UN finally been woken up to its responsibilities of concerted action (rather than useless vacillation) since he came to office. clearly, yes.

are some of the world's less solubrious dictatorships (and co-sponsors of state-backed anti-western and anti-semitic terrorism) now paying attention to the possible consequences of their actions? again, clearly yes.

clearly the accomplishments of a total and utter moron.

i'm no fan of bush but i challenge you to lay out some cogent, intelligent, accurate and compelling evidence that proves this man to be what you say he is. without those, your comments are not only sad, tired and childish but also painfully unoriginal.

Tiggs

good god- a sensible post about bush!

T4molie

LOL......good god it's all gone political!

What started out as a little funny for the day is all going a bit serious.......

Personally I'm not political AT ALL, cos I think the majority of the world is run by a bunch of muppets - could I do a better job NO!

Would I want the job NO!

I try not to make too many decisions on many people in the political world as it is getting increasingly more dificult to believe what you read/hear in the press/on the news.....only by their actions........

Peace and long live the human race (most of them anyway) !!!

Dream Weaver

Have to agree with Skipjack though - always far too many people jump on the "funny" bandwagon - the same people that openly voice how they HATE Microsoft, Jamie Oliver, Amercians etc etc. Usually with no reasoning whatsoever.

Tis a funny bit of text though

skipjack

i was thinking more of chrispduk's, er, contribution actually...

cletterridge

Did anyone hear Michael Moore on TV the other day? He said the day he lost faith in the American leadership was when Ronald Reagan declared that ketchup was a vegetable....

mush in... mush out....

skipjack

he must have missed vietnam, kent state and watergate then.

Mr evolution

How did he do that exactly what he did was invade a country that had been devastated by being used as a pawn by the USSR and the USA during the cold war and kill hundreds of innocent people as well as a members of the Taliban who did not have much if anything to do with Al queda. His government has also carried out assasinations on un convicted people and their associates with complete disregard for international law.




Terrorism exists in the magnitude it does today largely due to the consistent use of the Americans wealth and power to allow Israel to take over palestine bit by bit and torture and murder innocent people along the way. If the Americans are so great explain Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

So basically your point is Americans are making it clear to the world that supporting Palestine's right to exist as a country and not a state of Israel will result in invasion and devastation of your country. Kind of like saying do what I say or I will knock you out and claiming that as a way towards world peace.



The biggest **** take with the Americans is that they supplied Saddam with weapons and subsidised his armies for years when Iraq was at war with Iran. Before invading Kuwait Saddam asked the American ambassador what would happen if he invaded Kuwait and the answer that came back was nothing. This is just one of hundreds of examples of Americans attempts to manipulate other countries and its this that builds up the hatred that leads to terrorism.

[Edited by Mr evolution - 12/18/2002 12:03:19 AM]

hotsam

Hmm..Let's see what the Japanese did to deserve it:

Rape of Nanking
Bacteriological Warfare
Waging unprovoked war against China.
Waging aggressive war against the United States, British
Commonwealth, the Netherlands, France, and the USSR
Genocide in China (aka the "Forgotten Holocaust"
Cruelty to Prisoners (Bataan Death March)

etc, etc, etc...

Oh, and more Japanses died in the firebombing of Tokyo than the atomic bombing of Hiroshima. If Hiroshima and Nagasaki weren't nuked, they would have been wiped off the map anyway.

Bombing is bad? Ever hear of Colin "Bomber" Harris?

Mr evolution

Tell me how killing civilians as practiced by Israel America and the UK can ever be justified. The Japanease army used deliberatly brutal training methods to try and remove all traces of compassion in its recruits and so acted shamefully but to kill women and children as punishment for this is stupid.

CrisPDuk

Ooh I do seem to have upset somebody here don't I

Skipjack, I do not hold my opinion of George Bush merely because it is the fashionable thing to do, I hold this opinion as a result of his governments continued relentless attempts to provoke war against Saddam Hussein.

Undoubtedly, the man is a Tyrannical Dictator & the world would be a better place without him, but lets face it, if it wasn't for the U.S government the man would not be in power in the first place. His takeover of Iraq was instigated by the CIA with the (successful) intention of drawing the Iranians into a protracted & expensive war thus preventing them becoming the major power in the region. The only reason the US govt now wants him out is because they have lost control of him and are running scared wondering how much Us supplied weaponry & technology the UN inspectors are going to find.

If they were genuinely worried about war crimes & government injustice they would release the files connected with US forces attrocities in Korea & Vietnam.

hotsam

The entire Vietnam war was an atrocity.

..and the reason he hates the US is because of Iran/Contra. The US was supplying Iraq with intelligence information during the Iran/Iraq war, and then the US started selling arms to Iran.

father_jack

Can I add a well reasoned comment to this?

The man's a feckin' chimp

T4molie

lol @ father.....

nice!

MarkO

Couple of points from me.
Erm, whilst I agree with most of this, I would beg to differ regarding Mr Oliver, who is without question an irritating, over-publicised fat-tongued rubber-lipped mockney c**t of the first degree. And that's an opinion based on plenty of reasoning, I can tell you.
Simple. Those two events brought the war to an end, simply, quickly and efficiently. If the bombs hadn't been dropped, Japan would have dug in for a long and drawn-out war which would have claimed far more victims (including plenty of civilians) than died at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Any compassion towards the Japanese was countered by their own brutality.

hotsam

Just to add to the previous post, here is an article about the possible invasion of Japan:

http://www.waszak.com/japanww2.htm

MarkO

The URL doesn't work for me.

skipjack

greetings of the season mr evolution

nice to see you attempting a justification of japanese behaviour during the war. go tell it to the commonwealth survivors of changi camp or the US survivors of the bataan death march.

i suppose next you'll say that one can argue similarly as to the root cause of SD/SS atrocities on the eastern front and against 11m jews, ethnic europeans and slav minorities? go tell that to the russian survivors of babi yar. oops, there weren't any.

there was no military benefit to be had from any of these activities. ergo, they are inexcusable and unjustifiable. period.

hotsam & markO are exactly and unassailably right to any normal thinking individual. hiroshima and nagasaki were totally justified for sound military reasons and will always be so: ending slaughter with slaughter to prevent an even greater slaughter.

do you feel that it would have been better to hold off using nuclear weapons against japan - and suffered 1m+ allied casualties and even greater numbers of japanese dead in an invasion that would have extended WWII by another year at least? thought not.

MarkO

Well said.

Another point that really irritates me is this habit people have of saying that Hiroshima was bad because women and children were killed. Sorry, but AFIAC, it doesn't make a rat's **** of a difference who gets killed. I don't value women and children any more highly than men - it's an old-fashioned and dumb argument.

skipjack

how do you do that thing with the quotes?

MarkO

Click 'edit' on my post, and you'll see.

skipjack

Click 'edit' on my post, and you'll see.

skipjack

oh dear. i am a clown of the finest wonky-wheeled, car-collapsing and banana-slipping variety

is it at the start and finish of the quote after you've cut n' pasted it in??

skipjack

oh the embarassment of it all ....

MarkO

No, dummy - it's [ quote] at the start and [/ quote] at the end, but remove the spaces before the 'q'...

[Edited by MarkO - 12/18/2002 7:13:37 PM]

skipjack

aaah. wot like this:

skipjack

peachy. i thank you.

MarkO

Well done.

For somebody with such a clear and detailed knowledge of world events and politics, you're not so hot on this IT crap, are you?