More Nun fun....

Two Nuns are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvannia, and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, Dracula jumps onto the bonnet of the car and hisses through the window.
"Quick, quick !!", shouts the first Nun, "What shall I do ?"
"Turn the windscreen wipers on, that will get rid of the abomination", says the second.
So she switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and hisses again at the Nuns.
"Quick, quick !!", shouts the first Nun, "What shall I do ?"
"Switch on the windscreen washers, for I filled them up with Holy Water in the Vatican", says the second.
Dracula steams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and hisses again at the Nuns.
"Quick, quick !!", shouts the first Nun, "What shall I do ?"
"Show him your cross", says the second.
So she winds the window down and shouts :
"GET OFF MY F*****G BONNET !!"

Yex

 

These two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the
last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get
even a drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of
the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the
project, there comes a knock at the door.
“Who is it?”, calls one of the nuns.
“The blind man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
“Nice ****,” says the man. “Where do you want these blinds?”

 

Two nun's going back to the convent in an STI.

first: Ooh! I've never come this way before
second: That'll be the cobbles

 

A nun was walking down the road, when she came across a double decker bus parked up, with nobody on there, except the bus driver. She got on the bus and started chatting away to the driver, when she suddenly said 'You know, I am getting on, and I am going to die soon, but I don't want to die without having sex.' The bus driver said, 'Well I'm sure I can sort that out for you.' The nun said, 'The problem is, I can't have sex with anyone who is married, and has children. Also I am a virgin, and I need to be a virgin when I present myself before the Lord, so if I were to have sex, it would have to be the other way, in the other hole.' To which the bus driver replied, 'That is fine, because I am not married, I have no children, and I don't mind doing it that way anyway.' So they locked the bus up, went upstairs, and did the deed. Feeling refreshed, on their way down the stairs, the bus driver suddenly said, 'I have a confession to make, I am married, and I have got three children.' The nun, not even looking flustered at what had happened said, 'I also have a confession to make, I am on my way to a fancy dress party, and my name is Kevin!'

 

Two nuns are walking down the street when a police car speeds past them, sirens going, screeches round a corner and into the distance.
One nun says to the other "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
"No," replies the other nun.
"but I've been swung around by my ****"

 

Two nuns sitting in a bath. One turns to the other and says "Where's the soap?". "Yes", says the other, "it does doesn't it?"

(I can explain this if need be...)