A bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants.
> "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat
> between your ****" he says. "You dirty git" shouts the barmaid "get out
> before I get my husband."
> The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The barmaid
> accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants
> down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your **** and lick it all off"
> he
> says. "You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out!" she storms.
> Again,
> the bloke apologises and swears never ever to do it
> again.
> "One more chance'" says the barmaid. "Now - what do you want?"
> "I want to turn you upside down, open your flaps and fill your
> ***** with Stella Artois, and then drink every last drop from the hairy
> cup".
> The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs
> upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly.
> "What's up love?" he asks.
> "There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between
> my **** and lick the sweat off", she says.
> "I'll kill him. Where is he?" storms the husband.
> "Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my ****
> cheeks and lick it off" she screams.
> "Right. He's dead" says the husband, reaching for a baseball
> bat. "Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my fanny
> with Stella and then drink it all" she cries.
> The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and
> switches the telly back on.
> "Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries
> hysterically.
> "Look love - I'm not messing with someone who can drink 15 pints
> of Stella!!!"