Latest News...... Army striking now ;-)
29 November 2002, 09:27 AM
#1
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FIRE SERVICE TO COVER FOR ARMY IN IRAQ
In the face of industrial action by members of the armed forces, the
government has announced that the Fire Service will, as an interim measure,
carry out military operations in Iraq.
The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their job
has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action next
Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime. It is
understood that they will spend their time standing around little bonfires,
rubbing their hands together and waving at passing vehicles who honk their
horns at them.
Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing tea
and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front
line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks, they
will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into
surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.
Prime Minister Tony Blair has already stated that the Fire Service strike of
last year proved that a vastly undermanned service with limited training and
unsuitable equipment can perform the duties of a well-trained, well-equipped
and well-manned professional force equally as efficiently and without loss
of life.
When it was pointed out to him that the bright red fire engines might make
an easy target for enemy fire, Mr. Blair said, "Never mind, we've got too
many firemen as it is... er, is that camera running?"
Asked for his comment, Britain's partner in the coalition in the war against
Iraq, US President George W. Bush, said "Ooh, can I have a go on the siren?"
In the face of industrial action by members of the armed forces, the
government has announced that the Fire Service will, as an interim measure,
carry out military operations in Iraq.
The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their job
has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action next
Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime. It is
understood that they will spend their time standing around little bonfires,
rubbing their hands together and waving at passing vehicles who honk their
horns at them.
Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing tea
and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front
line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks, they
will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into
surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.
Prime Minister Tony Blair has already stated that the Fire Service strike of
last year proved that a vastly undermanned service with limited training and
unsuitable equipment can perform the duties of a well-trained, well-equipped
and well-manned professional force equally as efficiently and without loss
of life.
When it was pointed out to him that the bright red fire engines might make
an easy target for enemy fire, Mr. Blair said, "Never mind, we've got too
many firemen as it is... er, is that camera running?"
Asked for his comment, Britain's partner in the coalition in the war against
Iraq, US President George W. Bush, said "Ooh, can I have a go on the siren?"
29 November 2002, 09:46 AM
#3
Scooby Regular
YEP - blown their own legs off!!
WHY OH WHY didnt they just take 4% and keep their big gobs shut??
I hope they sack their leader!!
Who reckons they will strike again?? I dont think they have the ***** to do it again - they have lost 10 days pay FOR NOTHING!! ha ha ha ha - morons!!
Pete
WHY OH WHY didnt they just take 4% and keep their big gobs shut??
I hope they sack their leader!!
Who reckons they will strike again?? I dont think they have the ***** to do it again - they have lost 10 days pay FOR NOTHING!! ha ha ha ha - morons!!
Pete
29 November 2002, 09:53 AM
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Sending the firemen over to Iraq might make Saddam think twice about repeating the ol' "set fire to the oil fields" trick, as our boys would have the flames out in two shakes of a lamb's tail. 
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