Fuzz

CALCULATING THE GRIMNESS OF A FEMALE

Hatcher (4.) produced a law to find out the grimness of any female.
This is as follows :

HATCHERS LAW

The total quality of a female can be found by using the following formula :

TOTAL QUALITY = aTITS+bBODY+cFACE+dPERSONALITY
_______________________________

a+b+c+d

GRIMNESS =10 - TOTAL QUALITY

As all males are different, the person conducting the study puts in how importantly they regard each of the four aspects of a female. i.e if they regard **** to be twice as important as everything else then a=2, b=1, c=1, d=1.

The point score for each of the aspects is within the range of 1 to 10.

This law gives us our value for the grimness factor variable.



WHETHER OR NOT SHE WOULD GET IT

before deciding on how much alcohol is required for this unity of two bodies, one thought must be processed. What happens if the female would "get a portion" regardless of alcohol ? This problem has been overcome by Naylor's Sober Theorem. This theorem is as follows :

WOULD THE FEMALE...............if no go to pints factor equation
GET IT IF YOU WERE SOBER?..... if yes then pints=0


DETERMINATION OF PINT FACTOR FOR UNFIT WOMEN

Williams (1.) gives the following formula to calculate the pint consumption required to be willing to "fornicate with a scrubber".

WILLIAMS PINT FACTOR EQUATION

REQUIRED PINTS TO **** = 2(10G-P)B
_________

GFS+W

Where:
G= Grimness (1-10)
P= Presentation (1-10)
B= Bike constant (1 = Lady, 2 = Bike)
GFS= Gagging for a **** (1-10)
W= temperature (1-10)

In general if REQUIRED PINT TO **** > 15 = NON **** SATURATION REGION


CONCLUSION
Even though this study is quite thorough there are still many different aspects that need to be considered. These include religion factor, virgin factor and snootiness factor. Thes equations given in this report are quite well defined but due to the randomness and unpredictability of females, mathematical modelling might not give the best results of all time......

REF:
1. C. Willimas (1997) The quantum theorem of bird studies
2. J. Naylor (1999) Women shaggability and their applications
3. S. Roberts (1999) The phychology of women : does grimness affect personality.
4. M. Hatcher (1999) Clitoris Sciences with illustrative examples.



[Edited by Fuzz - 11/8/2002 6:50:56 PM]

Fuzz

This report is about the amount of fermented vegetable drinks required for consuption before a homo-sapien male is consciously willing to partake in a mating ritual with a homo-sapien female with defective attributes. Examples of these attributes include having big bones, having hair of a golden colour or having mammary glands of a small nature. One shall start this report by looking at the different types of female that are around. The first assumption to be made was by (1.)Williams (1997) who stated that the fitness of the women around is normally distributed with mean 6 and standard deviation of 2. this is represented in diagramatic form in fig 1.


FIG 1 ( pending scanner application )

As we can see from FIG 1, there are many females that are average, yet there are only a few really good and few really bad ones.

A corollary of this theorem was given by (2.) Naylor (1999), who stated that one male's frame of reference of one female being "fit" is different to another male's with resect to the pint and "gagging for a ****" (GFS) variables.

ACCESSIBILITY FUNCTION
The accessibility to the homo-sapien female's reproductive organs is sometimes an easy path yet sometimes a hard path. Ward gives the following result in this area :

MINGE ACCESSIBILITY = GRIMNESS

This means that if the female in question is of high grimness then her minge accessibility will be easy. Conversely, if a female has hard accessibility then there is a high probability that the aforementioned female is attractive.
There are many outliers to this theorem.
For example, there are many girls of a high grimness factor who regard themselves as having a low grimness factor, hence they make their minge accessibility rating hard whereas it should be easy. Further studies in this have been done by (3.) Roberts.

JamieMacdonald

By the time you've worked all that **** out you have a headache and some other bloke has taken her home