Makalu

True Emergency Room Visits !

INNER SKELETON
A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil,
suffering
abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long
skeleton of a
fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside
the womb
and was never expelled from her body.

FEMALE SOFA
A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the
examination,
an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one
of
her
breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her
vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his *****. He
complained
that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him during
sex.
After
an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle
left
inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He
said that
he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, then his
boyfriend had
the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel. The concrete then
hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a
perfect
concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.
(Boy we
live sheltered lives - thank goodness)

BLIND DRUNK
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while
trying
to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway,
but
they
always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but
without
success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not
have his
contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of
his
cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody
restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman
had
hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had
gone out
that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman
crept
under
the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had
an
epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's ***** and
wrench it
from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and
stabbed
her in the head until she let go.

Mak.

yoza

Very good,now what was for dinner?.............
I think Ill pass.....