things not to say to a copper when pulled over
Scooby Regular
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 328
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From: West Sussex
saw this on my sons GTI-R forum
The 21 Worst Things to Say to a Police Officer
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No donut!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops ?
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand!
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
I pay your salary!
So, uh, you on the take, or what?
Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around-that's how far ahead of me they are.
(This one's dumb, but probably will get a guffaw, rather than encouraging the nice officer to pull out his MagLite.)
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The 21 Worst Things to Say to a Police Officer
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No donut!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops ?
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand!
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
I pay your salary!
So, uh, you on the take, or what?
Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around-that's how far ahead of me they are.
(This one's dumb, but probably will get a guffaw, rather than encouraging the nice officer to pull out his MagLite.)
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Scooby Regular
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 137
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LOL!
I got stopped the other day when I was speeding along a dual carriage way and it narrowed into one lane for a police census but there were no signs until the last minute.
The copper stepped out in front of my car and I just managed to stop ... thanks to my new brakes!
He said: "if that had been a 8 year old boy running across the road, you'd be charged with manslaughter".
I was in a bad mood, upset, angry so I came out with:
"what would i get for a copper?"
Should've seen his face. I can't believe I said it, it just came out of my mouth before I could stop myself!
I got stopped the other day when I was speeding along a dual carriage way and it narrowed into one lane for a police census but there were no signs until the last minute.
The copper stepped out in front of my car and I just managed to stop ... thanks to my new brakes!
He said: "if that had been a 8 year old boy running across the road, you'd be charged with manslaughter".
I was in a bad mood, upset, angry so I came out with:
"what would i get for a copper?"
Should've seen his face. I can't believe I said it, it just came out of my mouth before I could stop myself!
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Joined: Nov 2001
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From: Not all those who wander are lost
A bloke comes out of the pub after 8 pints of Stella and gets into his car.
Off he speeds round the twisties, tyres screeching with every turn of the wheel. Suddenly, the car clips a rock at the side of the road, flips into the air, somesaults 5 times, and lands on its roof in a ditch.
The police arrive at the scene.
Officer - "Have you been drinking sir ?"
Driver - "Of course I've been drinking, I'm not a fcucking stuntman"
Off he speeds round the twisties, tyres screeching with every turn of the wheel. Suddenly, the car clips a rock at the side of the road, flips into the air, somesaults 5 times, and lands on its roof in a ditch.
The police arrive at the scene.
Officer - "Have you been drinking sir ?"
Driver - "Of course I've been drinking, I'm not a fcucking stuntman"
Scooby Regular
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 318
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From: The Muddy Wasteland that is the Thames Estuary
My mate's was a classic. After being stopped for doing about 80. The policeman asked him if he had any idea how fast he was going to which my friend replied "About 40 Officer". The Policeman replied "Do I look stupid".
The response was "Well the hat does make you look a ****" had me laughing for weeks and earnt a night in the cells for my mate while they stripped his car to "search for drugs".
Still makes me grin
The response was "Well the hat does make you look a ****" had me laughing for weeks and earnt a night in the cells for my mate while they stripped his car to "search for drugs".
Still makes me grin
