Stampede !!!
11 July 2002, 02:01 PM
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Driving to work this morning and came to a spot where at least once a week I have to wait whilst a farmer walks his herd of cows either to or from the milking shed along about 500 yards of road.
Predictably there they were, bunch of dopey looking fat ba$t4rds idling their way along with the farmer driving a small tractor behin them keeping them moving.
Then it happened, 2 or 3 cows had gone past my car when once moo-ing son of a heiffer stood looking at my bonnet directly in front of the car and decides to jump up !!!!
The stupid cud chewing freezer full of steaks-to-be put both front legs up and totally ferked my bonnet!!!
I was the only car waiting at the time and there was nothing behind me so fearing that the flea infested, 6 titted f*ckwit was going for all 4 legs I panicked, rammed it in reverse and shot backwards !
Well next thing, the dozey fat big dopey eyed **** sprayer falls flat on it's chest with it's legs sprawled out in front of it and didnt get up. I get out of the car to check my bonnet (predictably dented and scratched) when the farmer comes running along screaming at me about how I've intentionally injured his cow.
The cow is still on the floor looking like something .......well........stupid, and breathing quite heavily. Farmer Joe tells me he's going to report me, I tell him to **** off and think himself luckty that I didnt slam it in first and finish the job!!
He rants that the cow will have to be put down and I'm going to be billed for the price of the cow and the vet's time, I tell him that I'm reporting him to the police for blocking a public highway and NEVER cleaning up all the **** afterwards !
He goes mental and starts threatening me so I got back in the car. He walks along to the car and yet again I panic, I hit the horn and flashed the lights at the rest of the herd and they all go ballistic and this is where the stampede starts, luckily they all turn and leg it the other way, god knows what would have happened if the bunch of mangy, **** covered reekers had run in my direction. I reversed back to a junction, turned round and went a different way to work with Farmer Joe running after his brainless chums.
I haven't done anything about it yet apart from book the car in for a look at the damage and get a quote.
Does anybody know where I stand legally here ?? Is the farmer entitled to block the road every day ? Are they insured ?
Help ?
Predictably there they were, bunch of dopey looking fat ba$t4rds idling their way along with the farmer driving a small tractor behin them keeping them moving.
Then it happened, 2 or 3 cows had gone past my car when once moo-ing son of a heiffer stood looking at my bonnet directly in front of the car and decides to jump up !!!!
The stupid cud chewing freezer full of steaks-to-be put both front legs up and totally ferked my bonnet!!!
I was the only car waiting at the time and there was nothing behind me so fearing that the flea infested, 6 titted f*ckwit was going for all 4 legs I panicked, rammed it in reverse and shot backwards !
Well next thing, the dozey fat big dopey eyed **** sprayer falls flat on it's chest with it's legs sprawled out in front of it and didnt get up. I get out of the car to check my bonnet (predictably dented and scratched) when the farmer comes running along screaming at me about how I've intentionally injured his cow.
The cow is still on the floor looking like something .......well........stupid, and breathing quite heavily. Farmer Joe tells me he's going to report me, I tell him to **** off and think himself luckty that I didnt slam it in first and finish the job!!
He rants that the cow will have to be put down and I'm going to be billed for the price of the cow and the vet's time, I tell him that I'm reporting him to the police for blocking a public highway and NEVER cleaning up all the **** afterwards !
He goes mental and starts threatening me so I got back in the car. He walks along to the car and yet again I panic, I hit the horn and flashed the lights at the rest of the herd and they all go ballistic and this is where the stampede starts, luckily they all turn and leg it the other way, god knows what would have happened if the bunch of mangy, **** covered reekers had run in my direction. I reversed back to a junction, turned round and went a different way to work with Farmer Joe running after his brainless chums.
I haven't done anything about it yet apart from book the car in for a look at the damage and get a quote.
Does anybody know where I stand legally here ?? Is the farmer entitled to block the road every day ? Are they insured ?
Help ?
11 July 2002, 02:09 PM
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Hi Norman
I think you should be able to sue him for the damage to your car and get at least a years supply of Sirloin out of it.
Did you report it to the Police ? well if you haven't then I would, you know there going to take the p1ss out of you but they won't treat you like some kind of leppar, infact in my experience they are quite sympathetic.
Inform your insurance company aswell.
Mike
I think you should be able to sue him for the damage to your car and get at least a years supply of Sirloin out of it.
Did you report it to the Police ? well if you haven't then I would, you know there going to take the p1ss out of you but they won't treat you like some kind of leppar, infact in my experience they are quite sympathetic.
Inform your insurance company aswell.
Mike
11 July 2002, 02:29 PM
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I think you might come unstuck on this one. Normally there are red triangle signs up to warn if a road is used in a regular fashion for herds of cows etc.(check this) If this is the case, you will have to take a civil action against the farmer if you want him to pay for repairs to your car.
There are many old laws etc. with regard to moving livestock about, and your probably on the wrong side of it. Its a bit like grazing your cattle on common land type thing.
Have you got a noisey exhaust on your car?
There are many old laws etc. with regard to moving livestock about, and your probably on the wrong side of it. Its a bit like grazing your cattle on common land type thing.
Have you got a noisey exhaust on your car?
11 July 2002, 02:33 PM
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Nah Mike, as you know I'm a golf driving hairdresser so my exhaut goes "Snip,snip,snippety,snip...Snip,snip,snippety,snip ...Snip,snip,snippety,snip..."
There were definately no warnings on the road other than yesterdays dried up cow-pies
P.S I have nearly crashed a few times on this road due to dopey brown eyed ****** sh1te on the tarmac !
There were definately no warnings on the road other than yesterdays dried up cow-pies
P.S I have nearly crashed a few times on this road due to dopey brown eyed ****** sh1te on the tarmac !
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11 July 2002, 02:36 PM
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Sorry Norman - the stampede bit had me laffing though. 
I don't see how it's your fault. A cow was mounting your car so naturally you reversed away. It's the cows problem if it has a bit of a design fault.
Probably not worth claiming over if it's just the bonnet, even if it's not your fault.
I don't see how it's your fault. A cow was mounting your car so naturally you reversed away. It's the cows problem if it has a bit of a design fault.
Probably not worth claiming over if it's just the bonnet, even if it's not your fault.
11 July 2002, 02:41 PM
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I know exactly how you feel.
Where I live is in a large country manoer house just North Of Oxford - Me and the misus have got a flat in one of the wings.
Now on the grounds amoung the Polo fields
there is a farm , and the old boy who own the whole lot lets this farmer keep his animals on the grpounds.
Now bearing in mind the only way up to the main house is a mile long single driveway the cows all seem to gather on the road ( I think it is warmer than the grass ) so without fail when I get home in the evening, if I don't fancy off roading and playing flat beef with the stragglers I have to sit and wait and wait....
Unfortunately I don't know about the insurance, but they are a real pain... Only one sulution seems to have worked so far, which is to get a friend of mine in his R33 to pop flames out of the back by lifting of as we drive past and scaring half the sh1te out of them !
Rgds,
Paul
Where I live is in a large country manoer house just North Of Oxford - Me and the misus have got a flat in one of the wings.
Now on the grounds amoung the Polo fields
there is a farm , and the old boy who own the whole lot lets this farmer keep his animals on the grpounds.Now bearing in mind the only way up to the main house is a mile long single driveway the cows all seem to gather on the road ( I think it is warmer than the grass ) so without fail when I get home in the evening, if I don't fancy off roading and playing flat beef with the stragglers I have to sit and wait and wait....
Unfortunately I don't know about the insurance, but they are a real pain... Only one sulution seems to have worked so far, which is to get a friend of mine in his R33 to pop flames out of the back by lifting of as we drive past and scaring half the sh1te out of them !
Rgds,
Paul
11 July 2002, 02:52 PM
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bunch of dopey looking fat ba$t4rds
one moo-ing son of a heiffer
stupid cud chewing freezer full of steaks-to-be
flea infested, 6 titted f*ckwit
dozey fat big dopey eyed **** sprayer
I'm sorry Norman, I know it doesn't help, but I've just about picked myself up of the floor and the laughter tears are just about subsiding. Those are the funniest descriptions ever, I'll never look at the steaks-to-be the same again!!!!
Good luck with sorting it out - I reckon you should sue the bloody farmer........
Cheers
Neil
[Edited by ScoobyJawa - 7/11/2002 2:54:06 PM]
11 July 2002, 02:57 PM
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A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo
11 July 2002, 03:56 PM
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A fully insured tax paying motorist you should know by now that you will get fined to compensate for the cows distress and mental anguish the loss of earnings from its lack of milk (even if it was a bull) Probably sent down for GBH and taken to court for the knock on effect of the distress you caused to the cows herd and family.
11 July 2002, 04:03 PM
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Yeah but I only hit the horn and flashed the lights in the hope that the cows would panic (a bit)and the farmer would be too distracted to punch my face in !
FFS there is NFW I would have intentionally made the BBQ fodder stampede ! I could have been crushed !
FFS there is NFW I would have intentionally made the BBQ fodder stampede ! I could have been crushed !
11 July 2002, 04:19 PM
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"I hit the horn and flashed the lights at the rest of the herd and they all go ballistic"
I'm sure the farmer couldn't prove this. His word against yours...........unless cows are now classed as a witness
I'm sure the farmer couldn't prove this. His word against yours...........unless cows are now classed as a witness
11 July 2002, 04:22 PM
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**** mate, sorry to hear about this.
I know this dont help matters, but I just very nearly p1ssed my pants at this, it is the funniest thing I have read on the BBS for ages!
You have brightened my afternoon mate, pat (LOL!!!) on the back for you!
I would have done exactly the same thing, but I may have been tempted to run the farmer over and feed him to the pigs
Good luck mate, let us know the outcome!
Paul
I know this dont help matters, but I just very nearly p1ssed my pants at this, it is the funniest thing I have read on the BBS for ages!
You have brightened my afternoon mate, pat (LOL!!!) on the back for you!
I would have done exactly the same thing, but I may have been tempted to run the farmer over and feed him to the pigs
Good luck mate, let us know the outcome!
Paul
11 July 2002, 04:57 PM
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Norm,
Surly, you were sounding your horn and flashing your lights as the farmer was making aggressive Mooo-ves (sorry) towards you and you wanted to attract the attention of another motorist as you were in fear of your own safety. Unfortunately the other motorist left the scene and as a unintentional consequence of your fear induced panic the bovines became agitated and tried to get away from yourself in a hurry...
Surly, you were sounding your horn and flashing your lights as the farmer was making aggressive Mooo-ves (sorry
) towards you and you wanted to attract the attention of another motorist as you were in fear of your own safety. Unfortunately the other motorist left the scene and as a unintentional consequence of your fear induced panic the bovines became agitated and tried to get away from yourself in a hurry...
11 July 2002, 05:16 PM
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Sorry but ROFLMFAO
Hey diddle diddle dont try to do an insurance fiddle
Was the cow trying to jump over the moon-roof
The Farmers little dog laughed to see such fun
and the Golf driver then flashed and beeped his horn toooooooooo!
Cant you get a grant from the EU to train to be a Matador! It might come in handy next time you come across a group of stampeding Cows LOL
www.matadortraining.com/eu
Why not see if you are any good at herding sheep as there are a few big fluffy ones on Scoobynet that need rounding up
www.sheepherder.com
Texas is short of cowboys try
www.cowboyscrytoo.com
Also one more thing there is no point in crying over spilt milk! ROFLMFAO
Sorry but you must see the funny side of your story. I hope you manage to sort it all out and dont forget to visit the Dr as you might have whiplash YEEHAA Ride him cowboy ROFLMFAO
Hey diddle diddle dont try to do an insurance fiddle
Was the cow trying to jump over the moon-roof
The Farmers little dog laughed to see such fun
and the Golf driver then flashed and beeped his horn toooooooooo!
Cant you get a grant from the EU to train to be a Matador! It might come in handy next time you come across a group of stampeding Cows
LOLwww.matadortraining.com/eu
Why not see if you are any good at herding sheep as there are a few big fluffy ones on Scoobynet that need rounding up
www.sheepherder.com
Texas is short of cowboys try
www.cowboyscrytoo.com
Also one more thing there is no point in crying over spilt milk! ROFLMFAO
Sorry but you must see the funny side of your story. I hope you manage to sort it all out and dont forget to visit the Dr as you might have whiplash YEEHAA Ride him cowboy ROFLMFAO
11 July 2002, 08:34 PM
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C*NT he may be but there were no witnesses !
I feel like taking some Backup along to Follow me in there and see how he likes it but I'd no doubt get the Pointy end of the stick again from the law !
I feel like taking some Backup along to Follow me in there and see how he likes it but I'd no doubt get the Pointy end of the stick again from the law !
11 July 2002, 08:41 PM
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Even though there were no witnesses get to the police station/hospital and do as i said above. It can only help you and it will give the Police more reason to believe you over him.
Cheers
Dave
Cheers
Dave
11 July 2002, 08:42 PM
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Oh great, my missus has just read this post, cue the 'If you go back there and cause more trouble then I wont say what I'll do' lecture from the Screamer Biaatch. Must learn to close the bbs window before I go and eat ! Doh !
11 July 2002, 08:55 PM
#25
sounds like you Need Backup!
do you get free legal advice with your car policy? i sought this and i am now In Position to deal with a claim that i thought i could not claim for (if you get what i mean - long story!)
don't blame you for legging it when the confrontation sparked off - my reaction would have been Get out of there it's going to blow!
do you get free legal advice with your car policy? i sought this and i am now In Position to deal with a claim that i thought i could not claim for (if you get what i mean - long story!)
don't blame you for legging it when the confrontation sparked off - my reaction would have been Get out of there it's going to blow!
11 July 2002, 09:18 PM
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Sorry to see this has gotten so bad for you mate
If I were you I would go to the police, report him for assualt, dont buy his dead cow and take him to court for damages to your car.....
Let him do what he needs to do, liable or not, you have been assulted by the supposedly placid farmer, this will help if it all goes any further....
Wait til it all blows over (whatever the outcome), get hold of a mini-gun and turn his entire herd into mince
Seriously, speak to citizens advice, get legal advice.
Paul
If I were you I would go to the police, report him for assualt, dont buy his dead cow and take him to court for damages to your car.....
Let him do what he needs to do, liable or not, you have been assulted by the supposedly placid farmer, this will help if it all goes any further....
Wait til it all blows over (whatever the outcome), get hold of a mini-gun and turn his entire herd into mince
Seriously, speak to citizens advice, get legal advice.
Paul
11 July 2002, 11:09 PM
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What a load of old bull.
A cow wouldn't try to "mount" a car.
Even if it was a tuppence licker.
Farmers are all full of how they "preserve the landscape" and such like gollocks. Tell him to sue and be damned.
You take the point?
A cow wouldn't try to "mount" a car.
Even if it was a tuppence licker.
Farmers are all full of how they "preserve the landscape" and such like gollocks. Tell him to sue and be damned.
You take the point?
11 July 2002, 11:19 PM
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That's really bad crack about your motor. Nothing more annoying than having a cow on your bonnet & she scratches or dents it.
It all depends as said earlier if signs are up, or if this is normal practice. If so I would speak to a lawyer ASAP
Sorry mate
Alasdair
You've given a lot of people a little light in their lives, the first since the hunting, fishing horses.
It all depends as said earlier if signs are up, or if this is normal practice. If so I would speak to a lawyer ASAP
Sorry mate
Alasdair
You've given a lot of people a little light in their lives, the first since the hunting, fishing horses.