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Alcazar's luck......

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Old 24 August 2015, 03:48 PM
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alcazar
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Default Alcazar's luck......

........another in an occasional (or not so occasional), series of rants from Scoobynet's own version of Victor Meldrew.

So......this week I've been making an aperture in a metre thick stone wall to take a new double glazed window, complete with roller shutter.
NOT an easy job, since the aperture needed to be exact sized, have an upstand for the window base, have a lintel with rebar in it and be wider at the inside than the window, to allow in more light.

All done, hours of work with shuttering, all cement carried upstairs by hand, (about 0.5 tonne), and all shovelled in by hand with a garden trowel. About five days' work in all, including time for it to go off. I even hid a couple of conduits for wiring in it.

So, we come to the electrics. Dead easy, four wires: up, down, neutral and earth. Fitted a junction box to the wall, fed it and made the connections as per instructions.

And what happens? Pressed the down switch, the shutter disappears into the casing, whirs mightily, gives a massive bang and then won't go down more than halfway.
Yep.......the fukcing instructions have the wiring for up/down transposed. I even had the switch in bits to see if it could have been that.

Putting it right still leaves it not working properly, so with no idea how to even get into it, (the instructions are useless, of course), I call out a local window fitter.

He arrives this morning, PULLS the facing off to reveal the mechanism, and pulls the whole shutter out. The top "leaf" is knackered, so we discard that, rebuild and it goes.

Now we have to set the stops........which are only revealed when the front casing, the one I had zero idea how to remove, is removed.

And then we find that the instructions once again are transposed, turning the stop clockwise, as per instructions, has the reverse effect to that stated, etc etc.

And the stops had to be turned so much that he eventually resorted to using the tool in a battery drill!!!!

WHO THE **** writes these instructions and aren't they proof-read?

The only decent thing was that the professional guy only took half an hour to sort it, and only asked for €15.
Old 24 August 2015, 04:25 PM
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LOL. we had the same issue fitting my mates roller garage door. The instructions were translated by a monkey from Polish into English and anything they couldn't translate they left out. In the End we ended up using the German instructions as they were atleast 75% correct and had the missing bits not in the English version so we also managed to finally get the door working but also had to manually wind some gizmo at the top to set the stops. Much fun was had by all
Old 24 August 2015, 08:31 PM
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Good story.When you gonna admit you put the window in upside down.


Old 24 August 2015, 09:00 PM
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Originally Posted by legb4rsk
Good story.When you gonna admit you put the window in upside down.


Old 25 August 2015, 09:26 AM
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alcazar
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Originally Posted by legb4rsk
Good story.When you gonna admit you put the window in upside down.


LOL, it came with a cill, no instructions, took me loads of digging on the internet to find how it fitted.

And then it needed the window handle removed and the window laying down so as to be able to really smack it into place with a rubber mallet.
Old 25 August 2015, 10:29 PM
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Uncle Creepy
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...

Last edited by Uncle Creepy; 18 April 2016 at 08:32 PM.
Old 25 August 2015, 10:32 PM
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I blame Google Translate....
Old 26 August 2015, 01:52 AM
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When I was an engineer poor instruction/service manuals were a pet hate of mine.

I always tried to suggest that these companies need to employ a 10 year old kid.If the kid couldn't follow the instructions then they where not written clearly enough.

BTW last week I had to assemble a flat-pack chest of drawers & a wardrobe that my daughter bought from the Internet. Appallingly bad drawings & no written instructions.I struggled even with an engineering background.God help your average non-mechanically minded person.
Old 26 August 2015, 12:59 PM
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A metre thick stone wall? Did you buy a ******* castle or something?
Old 27 August 2015, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted by SJ_Skyline
A metre thick stone wall? Did you buy a ******* castle or something?
They still have trebuchets in France...
Old 29 August 2015, 01:14 PM
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alcazar
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Originally Posted by SJ_Skyline
A metre thick stone wall? Did you buy a ******* castle or something?
Three hundred year old French ex-farmhouse, with two HUGE barns dependent, 2000sq m of land, situated in the French national park area in the Limousin, electrics, water and phone installed...all for a nice £32000..........
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