lozgti1

We had differences of opinion because I shagged someone else for four years and we got divorced

I am a complete **** who drinks too much and has been verbally and emotionally abusive to my ex for 12 months.

Known her 25 years she's done everything for me but I no longer pay anything to her because I'm a dick who's lost his job!

On my own in my own flat as she threw me out, can't stay sober around my kids so I can't see them any longer

Anyone else been through insanity??! (must get my pot noodle on the go...lol)

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

Who hasn't?

lozgti1

That has actually made me feel better

Barxy

I think its a female thing, had some awkward ex's in the past, but seen a few mates have terrible problems.
The worst is when they use the kids as a weapon, its terrible

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Not happened to me...luckily, or thankfully and split before it got too serious. But seen it happen time and time again to friends and family.

Now I'm not going woman bashing here, but something odd seem to happens to them when a good relationship breaks up that turns them into quite evil creatures.

Its like; "I've got my kids, I got the house (which I barely paid anything into), I want every penny of you for child mainantence (even though it'll be spent on other things), and I want you to remain single and broke for the rest of your life (because I'm a scornful bitch), but I'll move my new partner in to your house within months of kicking you out.

It can't be coincidence that they end up going along these lines, oh, no wait, I know why...is it because all men are arseholes? LOL. Nothing new there, men don't suddenly stop being arsehole when we get tied down, we just learn to hide the bad traits better.

Turbohot

I don't know why people act that nastily awkward with such pain infliction and grief rendering. They've done enough damage, what more do they want? Not good way of dealing with the 'divorce' situation. Damaging for kids in a long run.

I've had good share of my grief after my separations, but nothing as bad as what you tell, loz. I never did such things to my kids' dad. Didn't take even a penny from him when I left with my kids. There was no point in doing any of that. When the love is gone, what else does matter, eh? Bitter battles are not going to make it any better, are they?

However, I still get random phone calls from my second ex, only when he's mega p7ssed, and has had a fallout with his current flame, but it doesn't really bother me any more. It's only once in six months, and the guy sounds completely plastered, with his face down in some gutter! I just cut the call off as I please, or ring his dad to attend to him.

Turbohot

No, not necessarily it's a female thing.

I may not have had as much as what Loz has been having, but I actually had all the hassles instigated by my exes. I NEVER caused any hassle for them whatsoever!

When I found the second man a while after my physical separation with the first one i.e. my kids' dad, he turned up at my door effing and blinding at the second one! He thought I was his property, and the second one was a robber of that property, although we had had a clear cut split and were living in different houses. 'Kin hell, if he wanted me so much, then he could have treated me better! Completely out of order, it was.

Then when I got rid of the second one for his drink problem, he started to send me solicitors letters to claim all what was actually MINE! Bloody nightmare it was! Thank God he wasn't the dad to my kids, and I didn't have any kids by him, or he would have proper used the kid as a weapon against me! I do think there is a God somewhere, who made sure I kept some wits around that time, and not have any babies with him! Most of my wits was fogged as I put up with some unbelievable sh7t from that person, man! Anyway, all sound now. I have my peace and I have my quiet.

Disclaimer: I have to say that on reflections, I'm still very grateful to these two men, because for the period of my life they were my best mates, we shared some huge and important parts of our lives together and we had some good times. One of them is even a very good dad to my children. To be perfectly honest I wish both my ex-men very good luck with all my heart. All water under the bridge, no hard feelings towards either of them. God bless them.

Hm. These ^ sort of comments will be more on the show here, with the majority of men on here. It is untrue that it's just women that turn into some evil creatures after the breakups. I wish there were more women with experience here to prove that wrong, but shame, not many ladies post here.

Never mind.

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

If I knew for certain I could get away with it, I'd put a couple of my Ex's in the ground.

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Read my "all men are arsholes" bit TH

Turbohot

A balance with a touch of enigma.

I nearly typed 'enigma' as 'enema', with the thought of an @rsehole.

Barxy

Difference is, us men are arseholes all the time, we dont hide it

Women tend to wait before they turn into arseholes.

donny andi

iTrader: (3)

Sh@g all her mates , doesn't matter if they are rough as foook or stunners , as long as they have a pulse do them
Then you will see what a vindictive ex can do

Turbohot

You do have a point there.

It's quite an imaginative revenge.

Well, I'm sure if the shoe was on the man's foot, he'd also go effing nuts at his woman, if she hypothetically sha@gged all his mates, no matter how fugly- as long as they had a pulse to them.

the shreksta

iTrader: (20)

My ex didn't turn out awkward she just turned out to be a fat lesbian............now she looks like a wrestler and i laugh when I see her

Fat bitch......

donny andi

iTrader: (3)

Bejesus.....that thought will be in my head when I try to sleep later

Barxy

Pretty sure most women do actually do that.
Difference is in the real world most men would agree to it! Most of the womens mates wouldnt.

the shreksta

iTrader: (20)

Face like a bucket of smashed crabs now...........not nice

LVC

I've spent more time getting divorced (twice) than I spent being married and together. First ex-wife turned out to be a psychopath and I went and lived in the middle east to escape her. Second was a gambler and general spendaholic and had to let her off a £120k debt in order to get the divorced finalised - only did this as we have a lad together.

All exes seem to be completely nuts and go through a real Jekel and Hyde character change once they start to become an ex.

Getting divorced in France was great (despite the 8.5 years it took) as she got nothing of what was mine (I kept the house) and she was told to go get a job rather than being a free-loader - helped having a lady judge

We get on OK now though, which is great for the lad but she's already started spending her new man's dosh .... only a matter of time for them .... my lad's room is ready and waiting for him ^^

Turbohot

On the surface, the hurt and betrayal for the man in such ^ relationship is visible. But the ones who eventually gets around accepting their sexuality also feel a terrible loss and long standing guilt for their betrayal. I have talked to such parties (both betrayed and betrayers), and it seems to be a very difficult one for both the parties.

merlin24

iTrader: (1)

Quote of the Month




Mick

the shreksta

iTrader: (20)

Turbohot

What? You're pretty sure that most women sleep with their husbands'/bfs' mates? Jesus! What kind of women do you know?? LOL I don't think so! Life isn't Eastbenders, you know.

Devildog

Ahh.. so that's who your profile pic is.

Reshard1977

iTrader: (17)

That's terrible mate!

Post a pic up of her!

EddScott

One of the few benefits of being a widow. No mental ex that can claim dibs on any of my stuff!

Absolutely no intention of letting anyone get so intertwined into my life it would actually cost me to get rid of them.

Turbohot

All/most women are psychos and all/most men are just so laid back and fantastic is a myth. In line with the OP's anguish, a woman with kids' custody is supported by law to be paid off or keep getting paid by the estranged husband/ kids' father, if that's what she wants. I think all victimised husbands should write to the law making body against such exploitation, and try to cut the cr@p.

About OP, stop acting like a door mat and use your human right to be entitled to what you deserve. Do what the law says, nothing more and nothing less.

I wish you two sorted everything emicably, at least for the children's sake, but as that doesn't seem to be the case, I hope you have a good lawyer. Other than that, look after yourself, don't get too stressed, and it will all settle soon.

Good luck.

DYK

Its true, I'm so laid back it p1sses her off.

Turbohot

Two men on this thread claiming to be laid back still remains anecdotal. It can't be said about most men tbh. That's because it isn't true.

Anyway, you say that your 'so laid back nature' p1sses her off? Why p!ss her off on ongoing basis with your amazing laid back nature?? Are you a wind up to her or what?? Then why should you wonder if she reaches the end of her tether one day, and wants a divorce from you, eh?

I think some men hit the comfort couch in long term relationships, and then begins the boredom and lack of excitement for the other half. If comfort couch hitting and going passive after forming a stable relationship mean being laid back , then unfortunately the great God is your DJ for the rest of your life.

BLU

iTrader: (27)

To answer the original question yes, for about 1.5 years!

I did everything by the book, kept as calm as I could in situations where she was being argumentative and did everything legal with regards to my kids. She eventually got bored and is in fact now 'ok' to deal with. Fortunately my kids are growing up and I don't have to deal with her very often anymore!

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Being laid back, is somtimes the only option. In the face of quite an ugly sitaution where she is wanting you to react to her verbal abuse, not reacting is the best course of action.